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American Patriotic Union of the Superheroes of History: Part Three

"This is the place?" Taft whispered quietly. The three heroes hid outside the range of the camp, using Taft's pristine white tub as a shield. From a distance, the tub could be seen as a large snow drift.

Washington nodded. "There's the Continental Army right over there. Any moment now we shall begin to cross the river, reclaim Trenton, and move on to Princeton."

"Only this time you'll never make it to Princeton," Taft reminded him.

"It's too cold," Ford complained. "My golf clubs are icing over."

"Let's move out," Washington said. "Ford, you're with me. Taft, you stay out here."

Dressed in Revolutionary war uniforms, Washington and Ford quickly slip into the new nation's armed forces. No one bothered to stop Washington as he passed by or wondered why he carries an ax, and Ford simply followed along like a caddie with his golf clubs. Presently they spotted the General Washington making last-minute preparations.

"There I am; You have the club ready? Let's get this done quickly," Steel Washington decided. "I hate headaches."

About an hour later, a fleet of small boats begin to drift across the cold Delaware River, bound for the New Jersey shore. In the lead boat confidently sits General Washington, who keeps his eyes drawn toward the water.

"I'd never thought I'd be doing this again," he mumbled.

"Excuse me, sir?" one of the boat rowers asked.

"Nevermind," the General answered. "I don't see anything that could cause us trouble yet," he reported. "Keep pushing ahead."

"It's too cold," one of the rowers complained. "My fingers are numb."

"Be happy you only have to do this once," Washington reminded him.

Rebuked, the man went back to rowing for a few minutes. It was still too cold for his fingers to tolerate. Wait, didn't he have those golfing gloves in his pocket? Encourage by the prospect, he let go of the oar, which promptly slid into the water, and started fumbling in his coat pockets to pull out the gloves, but his fingers were stiff. He managed to pull out one glove with a jerk, sending the second glove and a golf ball to the bottom of the boat.

"Hey," he says slowly, picking up the glove. "My glove's wet."

"Your glove is what?" Washington overheard him. "Why would it be... what?!"

A leak had sprung in the boat, letting in water slowly.

"This is it, Ford," Washington tells him quickly. "We have to stop the boat from sinking, or I'm gone."

"What do we do, General?" one of the men asked frantically. "We're too far out to go back to shore."

"Everyone, remain calm. The water is coming in slowly; we may still make it to New Jersey."

A popping sound was heard, and water began rushing into the boat.

"Ooh, it's cold!" Ford jumped from his seat, rocking the boat. "It's freezing!"

"Quickly Ford, find something to block the hole with," Washington ordered. "Everyone else, begin to bail out the water."

The men begin to dutifully bail out the boat, while Ford fumbled in his pockets for something to block the hole with. The hole was pretty large; it was circular, about the size of a golf-ball. He could stuff his gloves in the hole, but he'd need those for his hands. The water was coming in very quickly now, so he's better think of something in his golf equipment large enough to fit into a golf ball-sized hole.

"I know," Ford suddenly realized. "I'm a Golf Guy, aren't I? Why don't I just stick my golf club in the hole?"

The boat suddenly rocked underneath him, and Ford lost his balance. He took a few steps to steady himself, but accidentally stepped on the golf ball he dropped earlier. The ball slide out from underneath his foot, and he fell with a hard jolt. Incidentally, he landed directly on top the golf ball, wedging it neatly into the hole.

"Good work, Ford," Washington congratulated him. "The water's stopped. And since Taft will be bringing the real Washington across the river in his tub, at least this part of history is saved."

"Hey, no problem," Ford said. "I am the Golf Guy, after all."