JOKES, JOKES, AND MORE JOKES!!!
What humour site would be complete without a joke page? Below you will find many of my favorites that I've been collecting. WARNING.... These are meant for the mature humour lovers out there. If you are easily offended, please don't read any further!!!
This page is
dedicated to my friend, Rose, who can never get
enough of my jokes! Thanks Rose!
What's the difference between boogers and broccoli??? Kids won't eat broccoli!!!
Why does Jack Daniels come in a bottle??? Because his wife left him!!!
Bob spent the entire day sunbathing at the nude beach. By the time he got home, his entire body was burnt to a crisp. Unable to bare the pain any longer, Bob poured himself a tall glass of milk and submerged the object of his greatest discomfort. Just then his naive girlfriend walks in and exclaims, "Oh my God! I always wondered how men loaded that thing!"
A punk rocker with red, blue, and green hair and feathered earrings gets on the bus and sits next to an old man. The old man just sits and stares wild eyed at the punker. After a few minutes, the punk rocker says, "What are you staring at old man? Didn't you ever do anything wild and crazy in your youth?" The old man replies, "Yes I did! Once I screwwed a parrot and I thought that you might be my son!"
What do you call the space between the vagina and the rectum??? A chin rest!!!
After having sex with a total stranger, Joe got worried that he might have gotten a sexually transmitted disease. He goes to see his doctor and the doc says, "Joe, after looking at the test results, I believe your problem is Angina Pectoris." Joe exclaims, "Gee doc, your amazing! I knew she was greek but how did you find out her name?"
An old farmer and his wife are sitting on the porch swing. The farmer turns to his wife and says, "Screw you, Ma!" The farmer's wife replies, "Screw you, Pa!" They both sit in silence for a minute then the farmer says, "Let's just go to bed Ma. This oral sex just ain't working!"
What's the difference between men and pigs??? Pigs dont get drunk and turn into men!!!
Did you hear about the perverted archeologist??? He could sniff a used tampon and tell you what period it was from!!!
Why did the blonde stop wearing wool skirts??? Because the boys were always trying to pull the wool over her eyes!!!
Can a woman get pregnant from anal sex??? Of course she can! Where do you think lawyers come from!
What's 18 feet long and smells like urine??? A line dance in a nursing home!!!
What's the difference between a bonus and a penis??? You can always get your wife to blow your bonus!!!
What did the Zen-Master say to the New York City hotdog vendor??? Make me one with everything!
What do you call a filipino contortionist??? A manilla folder!!!
What are some things you should never say while browsing in Victoria's Secrets??? 1.Mom will love these! 2.No need to wrap that up. I'll just eat it here! 3.The Miracle WHAT?! This is even better than world peace!
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