If They Would Only Stop Putting Those Ugly Ties On [STAR86 Online]
by Jockstrap Giles

It is a bit sad that these old MC sods have the weekly need to wrap a piece of striped rag around their greasy necks just to tell the world that they all spent their pathetic pubescent years in one same place. We would naturally then be compelled to presume that their lives have been shamefully reduced to such ugly ties, which incidentally went outdated the last time a Hanoverian sat on the Throne.

Funny thing is, without those moth-eatened ties around their dirt-stained necks, they can be ironically tolerable. When I took those momentous steps down the matrimonial aisles, my Best Man was an old MC type. And I was even called upon to be the best man for two of their kind. My regular Friday Prayer / Lunch Chum is also one; and depending on circumstances, we are sometimes joined by another one or two (along with some Old Grand STARians). Then there is this kilogramme-endowed mass of a bloke with whom I share the passion for intellectual wit and during my bachelor days of yore, very non-intellectual audio-visual materials.

Perhaps some twist of Fate dictated that the food and quasi-drinking water which were forced down our throats in Ipoh and KK actually came from the same source -therefore some of them get along well with some of us. Just as long as we don't bump into them on one of their Ugly Tie Days. I'm certain that even if G. Versace had the chance, his fashion instinct would have told him not to go to MC. Then again, his hormonal instinct most probably would!

But just imagine, if only those tie straps were spaced out a bit, and alternated with rows of majestic badges, they would be quite a classic.