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I understand the inventor of the bagpipes was inspired when he saw a man carrying an indignant, asthmatic pig under his arm.
Unfortunately, the man-made object never equalled the purity of sound achieved by the pig.
-Alfred Hitchcock

Q. How do you get two bagpipes to play a perfect unison?
A. Shoot one.

Q. What's the difference between a bagpipe and an onion?
A. No one cries when you chop up an bagpipe.

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