Comfortably Numb

Ever hear the song Comfortably Numb by Pink Floyd? You know, "I have become/comfortably numb."  Did you ever want to become comfortably numb? Not in the physical sense (you can always get sh*t-faced from a good bottle, 'tho you might regret it in the morning), more in the feeling sense. Like being oblivious to it all. You know, "ignorance is bliss?"

Hmm, I'm not explaining myself well here. I'll use me as an example. I'm a sensitive guy. Not touchy-feely-cry-during-weddings kind of sensitive, I would describe it more as sensitive to what people around me are thinking or feeling (maybe hypersensitive is closer to the truth). Sometimes this is a true gift:  when you are in front of a prospective customer, you quickly want to home in on what he/she is thinking and address his or her concerns before they are ever raised. When you give a talk in front of an auditorium full of people, you want to scan the faces of the crowd and zero in on the half-dozen people who are really getting your message and feed off their positive (nonverbal) feedback. When you hurt a friend or someone you love you want to realize it before the defense mechanisms kick in and it becomes a drawn-out battle.

However, most of the time it's a curse. Why should I care what other people think? Well, a lot of the time I shouldn't, but when you're receiving those signals loud and clear they can be awfully hard to ignore. So why am I telling you this? (No, as it turns out I don't really care what you think -- you're just another statistic on my website counter). I'm telling you this because sometimes I really, really envy those that are totally numb to what other people are thinking or feeling. You know who I'm talking about (unless you are one of them, in which case you really don't understand a word I'm saying here, do you?). Some examples:

The loud talker: I commute by bus. In the early morning or late evening, the average passenger is a zombie. I've seen people repeatedly fall into the aisle as they fall asleep. But there's always that one person who picks up the cell phone and starts making calls. No, that's not right, a lot of people make calls, most of us do it quietly and discreetly. But on every trip, there is one person who starts yakking away at the top of his/her lungs, entirely oblivious to everyone else. From 10 rows away I've heard intimate details about dates, bad jokes, buy/sell orders, really lame excuses as to why hubby or wifey isn't home yet, you name it. I wonder if these people use all caps when they send email, and cc: everyone they know as a matter of course.

The breaker: You know, this is the guy who, if invited into your home, office, car, or cubicle will invariably break something, hand it to you and say "Hey, this is broken." I once had to make a business trip to DC for a few days and decided to drive instead of taking public transportation. A co-worker suggested we could save the company some money if I gave him a ride also. Fair enough. Well, he drove over to my house early on a February morning, just as I was scraping the ice off my windshield. "Hey, I'll help you" he said (very sensitive of him, I must say). He then took a scraper out of his car and proceeded to obliterate my window trim molding. "Here," he said, "this fell off your car." AAARRRGH.

The observer: I ran into an ex-co-worker in a shopping mall: "Hey," he says in a loud voice, "It's great to see you. We haven't talked in ages. Geez, you look like you gained 25 pounds." And you wonder why we haven't talked in ages, assh*le.

The "no hint big enough" guy: I have a friend who was offered a job in another company that was several levels of management higher than he had ever been or would ever be qualified for. He went out for a drink with a few of us as he was mulling over his decision. We were all trying to be tactful. "What do you think of this company?" he asked one of our friends. "Well, gee, I dunno, do they show good judgment?" was the reply. (Yes, of course he took the job, and of course it ended in disaster).

So why do I envy these folks? Deep down, every now and then I'd like to be able to turn on the numb-ness and be oblivious to the rest of the world. You know, "No brain, No pain." How about you? Email comments/opinions/examples to me.