State Plate Slogans: Compared

OK, you caught me, I'm bored. Just starin' out the window of the bus, looking at the cars going by, trying hard to come up with something to write about (not really, I actually thought about this one beforehand -- it just sounds better if I came up with it on the fly, y'know?). So, what do I see a lot of? License plates. Why do I find them humorous? Well, New Jersey, the Garden State just seems to have a funny ring to it, know what I mean? From what most people see of New Jersey, it would have been better described as The Oil Refinery State, or the Blow-by Gasses State, or maybe even Where New York's Sports Teams Play. Well, enough picking on the home state. Let's examine some of the other state slogans -- at least as they are reported on their license plates -- and do some side-by-side comparisons, some critiques, maybe come up with a few new suggestions. Oh yeah, sorry in advance for insulting most every state in the union, but you have to understand: it's tough coming up with all these new ideas. Luckily, there are 50 states, so I should be able to milk this one for a while.... If not, perhaps I'll throw in a Canadian Province or two, eh?

Who do you want on your side? Let's look at New Hampshire (Live Free or Die) versus North Carolina (First in Flight). Hmmm. When trouble breaks out, who do you want by your side, eh? The Live Free or Die guys or the ones who plan on getting the hell out of there first? I'm thinking the Granite State wins this comparison hands down.

Where would the Emperor live? This one is pretty easy: New York, The Empire State. I pondered this one for a while? Which Empire? The British Empire? The Dutch Empire? (I not sure the Dutch ever had an empire -- I've been to Amsterdam a few times, and I can safely guess that if the Dutch had a real empire it would be a pretty wacky place). It took me a while, but I finally figured it out: it's not one single empire, is it? It the thousands of financial empires that have been built out of New York's financial and real estate markets. OK, I'm cool with that.

Aloha. Hawaii is The Aloha State. Well said. The only thing that bothers me about that is the fact that aloha is used for both hello and goodbye. Are they saying Welcome, or Don't-let-the-door-hit-you-in-the-ass-as-you-leave,-empirialist-mainlanders. Maybe both.

Just Sunshine? Florida is The Sunshine State. Well, yeah, I guess so. But Florida has several more dimensions than just the sunshine. It could have been called The Mickeymouse State in honor of its most famous resident. Maybe The Space Shuttle State in honor of that mechanical wonder we all seem to take for granted these days. Maybe the go-ahead-and-try-to-find-a-parking-spot-that-isn't-reserved-for-the-handicapped State?

Hospitality?  One slogan on Indiana's plates is Hoosier Hospitality. Manitoba's is Friendly. Friendly is pretty darn straightforward (although I'm not certain there is anything friendly about Manitoba during the winter); what I'm not really sure about is Hoosier hospitality. Is that like "Welcome, y'all," or is it more like "We don't take kindly to outsiders, stranger" ? Is this some kind of inside joke among the Hoosiers? Just what exactly is a Hoosier, anyway?

Juxtaposition. I believe states do not take advantage of their locale when developing license plate slogans. For example, Utah does a decent job with Ski Utah! Greatest Snow on Earth (this is so much better than their real state slogan, The Beehive State. Ever see a beehive in Utah?). However, the best Nevada can do is The Silver State. Anyone with an ounce of marketing sense knows that Nevada plates should read Hey folks from Utah, come on over! We've got booze, gambling, and legalized prostitution.

Get Over it, Already. Delaware is The First State (yawn - what have you done for me recently?)  Connecticut is The Constitution State; everyone knows it should be the don't-you-wish-you-could-afford-to-live-here-state. Tennessee is The Volunteer State -- how long ago was it that the Vols fought with us? 200+ years? I mean, it's not that we don't appreciate it and all.....

Big Claims. Rhode Island is The Ocean State. By my count, there are at least 15 states with more oceanfront property than Rhode Island. What gives here? How about the-state-between-Connecticut-and-Massachusetts?

Email comments/opinions/examples to me.