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Kinship System
Among the Shins, genealogy runs from the father and they
follow a joint family system. Their people are organized in terms of
caste and tribal circles. Their kinship system is solid and active.
There are local profound terms used for various relationships. However,
absolute uniformity is non-existent in the various accents of their
language spoken upto Kohistan, Gilgit, Chilas, Astor and Gurez. This
difference in the accent of their languages in various parts is due to
difference in environmental and geographical territories, the evolution
of their accents and the influences of other dialects. Since our subject
is the Shin tribes of Kohistan, we will limit our discussion only to
this extent.
Among the Shin tribes of Kohistan, the relationships are
identified by two main references: by breast milk and by blood. The
blood means father and the breast milk means those relationships that
are established with regard to other women. The terminology of
relationships exists both in writing and in oral forms. The terminology
in writing is more apparent. However, there is a diversity in the oral
terminology used in daily life and there is some complexity also in
certain relationship terms. However, they help understand the
distinction in ages, the scope of communal obligations to one's
relatives and their limitations, their duties and restrictions on
account of the constructive liaisons found in joint family system.
Among the Shin tribes, there does not exist any distinction
among the terms used in writing and in conversations for the "dada", "dadi",
"nana", "nani", i.e. father's father and mother's father and father's
mother and mother's mother. For 'father's father' and for 'mother's
father', the term "dado" and for 'father's mother' and 'mother's
mother', the term "dadi" is used in writing and they are identified from
these terms. If the "nani's" paternal branch lies outside the father's
tribal circle, then the term "dadkul" is generally used for it. It can
also be due to the fact that since the relationship between the maternal
uncle and the nephew is so strong that differentiations might not be
made between the terms used in writing and in oral between "dada" and "dadi"
and "nana" and "nani". It has been observed in the daily life that there
is no distinction in oral terms used for the father's mother and the
mother's mother.
The genealogy of the father and of the mother is traced in
terms of breast milk and blood. These references are useful to determine
the limitations in community, culture, enmity, inheritance and many
other aspects. The father's genealogy is considered the authenticity for
an entitlement to inheritance rights and one's group and organizational
circle is traced from it and one's membership is established with a
group.
"nasbe misal achio Cale:ni" (Kohistani proverb)
Example of a kin is like an eye-sight.
There exists a distinction in the written term used for the
father and his brother, i.e. uncle (piCi). This distinction does not
stay intact in conversation and the father is called "buba" or "baba:"
while for the elder and younger uncle the terms of "baRo buba" and
"lekho buba or "buba" or "babo" are used. However, for the unreal
brother of the father, the term "picha" prevails. In other words, as
there is a fartherness of one generation between the real and unreal
uncle, they are distinguished too from each other. Its one reason is
that the level of "bilo:S" is also different, from harsh to soft,
between the real and unreal uncle and their offspring. Since there
always exists a traditional "bilo:S" between the real paternal cousins,
perhaps in order to keep it at low level.
Elder and younger real paternal uncles which can also be
termed as an effort to maintain closeness with them. On the other hand,
a distinction is made between the terms for the father's brother and the
mother's brother and there is a clear border-line between them. Father's
brother is identified as "piCi" and mother's brother as "mahul".
Maternal uncle is generally addressed as "mama:". All real and non-real
brothers of the mother are included in it even to the extent of the men
pertaining to the paternal branch of the mother in that generation.
There does not exist any distinction between the written and oral terms
used for maternal uncle no matter he belonged to the branch of the
father or to any other tribe. But with regard to a nephew (a sister's
son), he would be discriminated as "dim sazu" and "sazu"depending on his
pertaining to an outer tribe or an internal tribe. The nephew who
belongs to the branch of one's internal tribe, the nephew is called "dim
sazu" and the one who is from an external branch is known simply as
"sazu" and it is this identification also which determines the scope of
obligation between these two.
A clear distinction between the relationships of breast milk
and blood is this also that the people of blood relationships always
want to be on equal footing to share "bilo:S" because the enmity caused
by a "bilo:S" is a continuous phenomenon. "bilo:S" can be sometimes
interchangeably called as "pukhto" also. It is mostly intensive between
the real and non-real cousins (father's real and step brother's sons).
Hence, we can also say that the blood that is red, is built of "bilo:S"
and competition and would not like to bow while the breast milk that is
white in colour and the sign of peace. Therefore, instead of "bilo:S",
flexibility lies in it. In other words, they respectively act as good
and bad, or push and leniency.
Among the relationships one stage comes where milk
relationship subdues the blood relationship. It is such a relationship
which develops on the basis of a marriage between two real cousin boy
and girl. In such cases, the mother's brother is the real cousin
(father's brother's son) of the children belonging to the same blood or
kinship. But the children identify him with reference to their mother
instead of their father's kinship and would call him "mama:" and not
"babo" or "picha".
Generally, there is not much "bilo:S" between them the way
it would have been without the marriage of the children's mother.
Perhaps it is due to the existence of double relationship which weaves a
strong net in the kinship system.
A brother's or a sister's son can marry his father's
brother's or his mother's brother's widow. But it is permissible only
when the brother's or sister's son are close kins. Similarly, a father's
brother can marry his brother's son's widow and a mother's brother can
marry the widow of his sister's son. Marrying is restricted only among
the relationships described in the religion of God.
For the mother's sister, the term "mafi" and for the sister
of the father the term "phipo" exists. If these relationships happen in
one's own caste, then their children acquire many privileges under which
they are allowed to help each other financially as well as with arms.
Verbally, sometimes a "phupi" is addressed as "ma:" also but "mafi" is
not called "ma:" and calling her "mafo" is preferred. All the women of
the mother's generation are considered "mafi" and called "mafo".
Similarly the men of her generation are considered "mahul" and called
"mama:". It is generally when a marriage takes place outside from the
caste. Hence, due to the mother, all people of the mother's branch are
considered relatives.
The relatives of the close milk are considered more
trustworthy and they are trusted for all matters. Probably its one
reason is this also that issues of properties usually continue within
the blood kins and in other matters, "bilo:S" keeps the process of
competition moving.
Distinction is made between the real and step mother with
the help of calling them "to:mi" (own) and "lo:gi" (step). The third
kind of mother may be that who is known as "chichi pili ma:", i.e. a
woman whose breast milk might have been sucked. It shows that these
people identify all three sorts of mothers by their basic references.
The difference between the real and the step mothers always remains
(among the Shins). Probably for this reason, the step mother also feels
the dinstinction for being a step mother. It has been stated in a
proverb in these words:
"thureji le:l na Satuk puC na
bi:no"
One whose ankles have not been
stained with blood, is not a son.
I think that the relationships of the son with his real and
step mother are influenced by the relationships of both the kins of the
real and step mother with the son and the son's position whether he is a
real nephew or a step nephew. It has been observed that among the
offspring of two mothers (real and step), the maternal uncle and his
household have been usually the major cause to create confrontations and
rivalries between them and these attitudes have strengthened the
feelings of estrangement among the step brothers. There are internal and
external motives behind such an attitude that keep the distance between
the real and the step brothers. On the other hand the attitude is
different for a "maljali" mother. Perhaps it is so because the father
does not have any kinship with her to face any risk to inheritance.
The written and oral terms are clear a great deal for the
real brother, sister, father's brother's son, father's sister's son,
mother's brother's son and mother's sister's son in the third generation
of the household. Among the Shins, one interesting feeling exists with
reference to the relationship between the brother and the sister. It is
stunning that for the offspring of the father's sister and the mother's
sister, a singular term is used for identification such as "phupia" and
"hurmulia".
For the distinction between real and non-real (step)
brothers and sisters, "lo:go" and "lo:gi" is used as a prefix, but no
such distinction is made in the daily conversation. In the written terms
for the brother and sister where "to:mo" and "lo:go" distinguish between
real and non-real, there a third word "maljali" or "maljalo Za:" is also
used which means milk-brother or milk-sister.
Compound terms are used for the offspring of the brother of
the mother or the brother of the father where prefixes of paternal and
maternal uncle are used. All the people in this generation both with
real and non-real kinship bear numerous household, economic, communal
and other responsibilities and obligation to each other.
Generally, more marriages take place within this level among the
offspring of mother's mother (mafo), mother's brother (mama:), father's
sister (phi:pi) and father's brother (piCi). We had mentioned earlier
somewhere that among the Shin tribes relatively more trend of "bilo:S"
is found between the offsprings of real and non-real uncles and probably
it is this factor that flourishes with the boys sitting in the
environment of the "hujra" since their childhood and in return it
strengthens their character and attitude, makes them brave, serving,
hospitable, and sensitive to their honour and integrity due to which
they are able to play an exemplary role with their tribe and group. In
very few cases, do the real cousins confide in each other despite the
fact that they run the external "bilo:S" hand in hand and have the right
to avenge on each other's murder. Perhaps, in the back of their
intensive attitude, lies the right to the property and inheritance.
There is a well-known proverb of the Shins that:
"piche puCe nazar chei:g dulia:kej bi:ni"
The gazes of a cousin are always on his cousin's wife and wealth (to
acquire them as soon as he dies.).
But where double relationships come into being, there instead of
"bilo:S", gentle attitudes are seen. Perhaps due to this reason, the
children of such a mother whose marriage may have taken place with her
real cousin, have been found calling the real cousins of their father
identifying them with their mother and not with their father. One can
argue here that in the relationship of the children with the brother of
their mother, the mother comes even one more step closer. But in my
opinion, it is a reflection of two different feelings of "bilo:S" and
"tenderness" and it is generated by the influence of blood i.e. redness
and milk i.e. peace and leniency.
Among the children of the father's sisters and mother's
sisters, strong feelings of truthfulness, sincerity, leniency and
devotion are found for each other no matter they belong to the same
range of the tribes or a different one. They mostly flourish the
attitudes of peace, well-being and sincerity. All real and non-real
relatives found in these ranges are considered and called sisters and
all of them can visit each others' houses freely. No one doubts their
relationships ever. Same is the situation about the milk sisters whose
mother's milk might have been sucked. All the real and non-real brothers
send or give "phulo" or "ba:go" to their real and non-real sisters at
the occasions of Eid or other sacred days and at weddings or at
sorrowful moments. Their children call and identify them with the real
term of relationship.
All the real sisters' and brothers' children's children such
as grandsons and grand daughters are called "po:Co" and "po:Ci" and
there does not exist any separate distinction among them. Similar is the
case about great grandsons and great grand daughters who are identified
as "paho:Co" and "paho:Ci".
The husband is identified as "jamCo" by his wife's household
and he is considered "mahrim" to the household. The wife's sisters are
called "saro:Ni" and the brother as "sa:nDu:". Their children get along
very well mutually. The husband is identified both as "khawan" and
"musha" and the wife as "chei" or "jamat". The wife is identified as
"nu:S" by the parents in law and other tribes by referring to her being
the "nu:S" of such and such man or woman. This identification goes on
changing with the passage of time.. When the daughter in law and her
husband become aged, then the wife is identified with reference to her
husband. Probably its reason is that by now the husband may have turned
to be the head of the household. At this stage, one fruitless effort is
made by the daughter in law also. If the husband and the wife had some
kinship before their marriage, then the daughter in law would try that
the children of her husband's brother call her by a word based on her
earlier relationship and not her husband. But after all it depends on
the children about which term would they like to call her by.
The father-in-law and the mother-in-law of the husband as
well as of the wife, are called "sher" and "shaS" respectively. The
husband's brother is called "levar" and the wives of the brothers are
called "levro chie" mutually and the eldest one of them is called "jaZa"
also which is also used for the husband's sister.
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