Revolution Computer System :: Mobile > SMS

Why were males created before females?
Coz you always need a rough draft before the final copy.

I want to suck you... lick you... wanna move my tongue all over you...wanna feel you in my mouth...yep, that’s how u...eat an ice cream!

ALGEBRA: A weapon of math destruction

Don't spend $2 to dry-clean a shirt. Donate it to the Salvation Army instead. They'll clean it, put it on a hanger. Next morn buy it back for 50p

Do you ever notice that when you're driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac?

Q: What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?
A: About 45 pounds!!

Why was Phillip's girlfriend annoyed?
- Coz she found out that Phillips 24 inch was a TV

What do Germans use for birth control?
Their personalities!

Caption: The Bean Raider

Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO?
A: There have been sightings of UFOs

I think drinking and driving is terrible. You always spill it when you change gears...

There was this Eskimo chick who spent the night with her boyfriend. Next morning she found out she was 6 months pregnant.

What did the elephant say to the naked man?
How do you breathe through that tiny little thing?

What happened when the Pope went to Mount Olive?
Popeye beat the crap outta him.

I've used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead
A 3-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and says:

"I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

Boss: (to employee) - Experts say humor on the job relieves tension in this time of down-sizing, Knock, Knock.

Employee: Who's there?

Boss: Not you anymore

What's the diff between a Rottwieler and a Poodle?
- If Rotty starts humping your leg, let ittt finish

Aim for the stars. But first, aim for their bodyguards

Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, "Do you know how to drive this thing?"

What is the difference between a woman and a magnet?
- Magnets have a positive side!

The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action

Q: What does a blonde owl say?
A: What, what?

WOMAN: The most efficient money reducing agent known to man-kind!

What do you call a blonde hiding in a closet?
- The 1977 World Hide and Seek Champion
It's important to find a man who has money, a man who adores you, and a man who is great in the sack. It's also important that these 3 men should never meet!

A man can kiss his wife goodbye. A flower can kiss a butterfly. Wine can kiss a frosted glass. But u my friend can kiss my ass!

I tried to call you from a payphone last night. I put my doner card in by mistake, it cost me an arm and a leg!

Hey can u do me a favor, take a pic of urself n send me it, I’m playing cards n I’m missing the joker!!

Hey friend remember that without stupidity there can be no wisdom & without ugliness there can be no beauty… so the world needs YOU after all!

Jesus says to John come forth ill give you eternal life. John came fifth he won a toaster

A girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home

At dis moment in time 10 million people r having sex.5 million people r drinking coffee.100 million people r sleeping & 1 stupid fool is reading my text! pass on

The rain makes all things beautiful. The grass & flowers 2. If rain makes all things beautiful why doesn’t it rain on you?

I want u 2 know dat our friendship means a lot 2 me. U cry I cry. U laugh I laugh. U jump out of da window... I look down & den... I laugh again

I wanted to send u something nice that would make u smile but the postman told me to get out of the mailbox!

This message was sent exclusively for the handsome and the beautiful. We have obviously sent it to the wrong number. We are truly sorry for the inconvenience

Ur cute gorgeous fine & dandy. really sexy u make me randy. ur good wiv ur mouth & also in bed …oops sorry wrong number 4get what I said!

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