|
EJ'S ONLINE NEWS: The
Crankiest Online News in The World.Its the news of 15 years from now...today!
News Headlines:
Human being attacks group of innocent gorillas
LONDON, Tuesday-
Our news partner, thefunniestnewsandstupidjokesonline.com earlier today reported
a strange thing at London zoo.A lunatic identified only as "Lunatic"
chased down and beat a mother gorilla and threw a flashbang at her child.Zoo
spokesperson, Catherine Zeta-Jones claims that is common for people suffering
from a rare syndrome known as LOA to act this way." The sufferer of this
illness does crazy things and desires attention" she was quoted as
saying.Well, careful what you wish for, as people say, the lunatic is now the
star attraction at the London zoo.Both mother and child gorilla won an all
expense trip to Pudu Jail, Malaysia.
CAVE MAN LEPAKING AT
COFFEE BEAN
BANGLADESH, Wednesday
- Early this morning,a local daily reported the sighting of a caveman enjoying
his cuppa at a Coffee Bean outlet here.Anthropologists believe that the man was
a Mesopotamian Neolithic caveman.This genius caveman apperently hacked the
Internet to find out all about coffee and how to rob a bank.He has also caused
chaos when he took an airplane hostage yesterday.The Interpol finally caught him
at a mamak stall house eating roti canai. Turned out that the "caveman"
was actually an escaped extra from the movie "Gladiator", who forgot to shave and was sleepwalking in his underwear.
ZULU TRIBESMAN HACK
TOP SECRET FED FILES
SOMEWHERE IN THE
AFRICAN FORESTS,Thursday- FBI special agents alongside heavily armed
soldiers stormed the Zulu villages here to search for an unknown hacker by the
alias DunguMan,who is believed to be behind the recent illegal FBI X-Files
downloads.Unfortunately, the wise guys in the FBI had to go home....there was no
electricity nor phone lines miles away from the "crime scene".Two days
later, the hacker was nabbed for trying his stunt again.Only then did the police
knew his secret- a Nokia WAP phone.
|