Britticisms
"In Which I question the point of the monarchy."
- Liz
On February 10th the Wedding of Prince Charles and Camilla Parker-Bowles is announced earlier than planned to avoid a tabloid scoop.
On February 18th the venue is switched from Windsor Castle to the Guildhall, as Windsor is not licensed for weddings, and if it was then anyone could marry there.
On February the 22nd the Queen announces she will not attend the wedding.
On March 31st Prince Charles responds angrily to a reporter asking the highly insulting question "How are you feeling about your wedding?" Charles mutters under his breath "Bloody people. I can't bear that man."
On April 2nd the Pope dies, and on April 4th his wedding is set for Friday. The couple postpone their marriage until the day after out of respect.
Going a few months back, remember when Harry dressed up as a Nazi? Or, for that matter, when he cheated in his Art A-level? Or when he punched that photographer?
Windsor Castle employs about 1,200 staff to do a variety of tasks. The make sure the flag goes up the minute the Queen is on the premises, and stamp each pat of butter with the royal crest. Over a thousand people are scurrying around for these upper-class twits. But why? They certainly no longer have any real power, we are a democracy. It seems all they do these days is get involved in various fiascos and scandals.
Most people who aren't vehement pro- or anti-Royalists will probably just mutter something about tradition and change the subject if you ask them what the point of the Monarchy is. And we wouldn't want to break with tradition, now, would we. Progress is for losers only; all the best countries are stuck in the Middle Ages. And the Royals are a tourist attraction! We common people do love a good show. Though, you know, more people tuned into the Grand National than the Royal Wedding. (But that should change when Wills gets hitched.)
Perhaps having a Royal Family is just one of the cute things about Britain. You know, the rain, the tea, those funny accents and the kooky old lady who waves! Oh man, those crazy British folk. And it would be pretty fiddly to just get rid of them. Where would they go? It'd be a bit peculiar if they moved into a council estate, and the poor things wouldn't be able to cope fending for themselves. And after all, they're not doing any harm. Except, sorry, I forgot. Why should they be so amazingly privileged, just for being born? Oh yes, I remember, they were Chosen by God. It all makes sense now.
And obviously, the millions of homeless and unemployed throughout the UK just don't have that Divine Right thing. Shame.
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