Untitled, Today, I Remember, Untitled, Battling Ghosts
Untitled
It’s kinda funny
when you miss the plot of a movie
All you think about is
how he feels next to you
You’re oblivious to the world
You just wanna be close to him
It’s doesn’t matter that there’s tomorrow
You’ll get through it
You’ve got the strength
Cause only good things last
And there, in the dark
being so close to him
you know for sure
that everything bad is history
-Oct 11/97


Today
Today I opened my eyes
and startled looked around me
The pain and hurt has disappeared
but till now I didn’t see

Today I looked back a second
on the girl I used to be
I wondered how it lasted so long
how that could’ve been me

Today I tore up the pages
of my released hurt and anger
I let go of past gurdges
and looked towards the future

Today I remembered how to smile
and be happy once again
I was dead for too long
and was no one’s friend

Today I started over
I made up my mind
Past misfortunes won’t haunt me again
and I won’t have another cry
-Oct 14/97


I Remember
I remember
how it started off
I was confused
You were using me

I remember
how it turned around
We became friends
for a little while

Then it changed

I remember
how it started
But I didn’t say it
Because it was her

I remember
being shut out
It was over
and I didn’t know why

Then I had enough

I remember
being alone
I had no one
And you didn’t care

I remember
starting to live again
Then you said hi
and I said hi back

Then I remembered
and turned away
-Oct 17/97


Untitled
I wish I wouldn’t still think of you
or dream of you at night
It seems like a long time ago
it all felt so right
Your absence weighs upon me
It’s tearing me apart
I don’t even know what to feel
deep inside my heart
I convinced myself lots of times
that I simply didn’t care
but it isn’t that easy
the memories are there
Why won’t it stop
cause I know I’ve moved on
Why can’t I just let it be?
This is all so wrong
It isn’t fair at all
Did you even realize
the way you suddenly left
made my soul cry out
I don’t know why I still care
you probably don’t give a damn
Do you even remember?
I might as well be dead
But I’m not, I’m alive
living my own life
going through so much
and I don’t know why
Why I care, why I think
Can’t I just go with the flow
or something easy like that
As long as it doesn’t show
How was I so stupid?
thinking that you cared
I kinda still believe you do
But then why not say
what you feel
You’ve taken the power out of my hands
You know it’s up to you
since you’re the one who left
leaving me helpless and puzzled
not able to do a thing
except think back to the past
not accepting what you did
-Oct 20/97


Battling Ghosts
Battling ghosts of the past
not wanting to let go
yet longing to be free
and no longer know

Incredibly skilled
they take you under their wing
promising sweet nothings
while to your life they cling

Robbing your future
embellishing your past
not truly believing
that the spell has been cast

Once so full of life
pure and sacred
now their red eyes glow
glorifying hatred

Their past so vivid
their whisper so sweet
their promise so inviting
their screaming so shrill
-Nov 5/97

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