Sunday February 13, 2005

This has been both a frustrating and rewarding week all at the same time.

First off, I don't like this time of year. It has nothing to do with the weather, but rather what tomorrow represents. It's just a time of year that really gets under my skin.

Not because I have a problem with the holiday, but rather because I've been single every single time, it has little meaning for me. That may come across as strange to some of you, mostly those who've been in relationships and it's just "another day" as it has been put to me, but when you're someone who's always been single, it's something that can bother you.

My mood was up and down most of the week because of it. I knew too many people who were trying to figure out what to get their boyfriend/girlfriend, saw too many people buying cards and gifts, and heard too much about how the holiday doesn't mean much when you've celebrated it a few times.

Basically, no one I talked to understood just how empty I feel this time of year. No one even seemed to care too much when I talked about it. The one girl I work with didn't seem too interested even though she asked why I was acting a little different. Another was wondering what her boyfriend had gotten her and was excitedly talking about what she did for him.

Normally, it doesn't bother me, but it's magnified this time of year. Every store has things that celebrate the holiday. You can't walk past a section without seeing at least a few people milling about, looking for something to buy.

I would love to have that opportunity, even if it's just once, to be able to have a girlfriend this time of year and be able to buy her something. I like doing things like that. It's kind of frustrating to not have that chance, although I did decide to make Kerry my Valentine. I at least was able to send her a card.

The more I think about it, the more I think that this summer can be very important when we do meet up for a week like planned. If that week goes well and it seems right, then I won't have to worry about being single anymore. I know it. That opens up a new dilema, but one that would be interesting to try and work around.

There's just something about the girl I like. One time, I'd like to be right about something like this.

But yes, the past week was not a fun one for the most part. Work was rough as some people just were difficult to work with. There was a blow-up between two techs that should never have happened. Of course, Keith was his usual happy self.

I knew too many people who went through something rough this past week as well, most of them online friends. For one of the few times, I felt like I had let someone down seeing as I hadn't been coming online. Yet at the same time, no one had come to me, so I didn't feel too badly either. But still, I would've liked to have known there was some way I could've helped, some way I could've helped make things better.

The end of the week was better and gave me hope that this year wouldn't be too bad after all. First off, I finally was able to save up enough money to buy a couple of new pairs of pants for work. This may not seem too significant to most people, but I rarely buy clothes.

Then, as I was walking by the T-Mobile booth in the mall, the guy working there called me over and asked me if I was happy with my service. I said yes and told him I had it for two years now. He asked how old my phone was and I told him. Then he said I was eligible for a new phone if I extended my service contract for one more year, which I was going to do anyway.

I ended up getting a new phone worth $175 for free. Not too bad.

Then last night, after I had visited a couple of friends while they worked, I did my taxes over the phone. I figured all told I'd get about $250-300 total back. I was surprised when my federal refund was $308 by itself, but even more surprised when my state refund was $99.

The way things are going, by the end of this week, my car should be fixed along with an oil change and I should still have plenty of money left over to finish catching up with the other things that need to be caught up on.

Not too bad of a deal if I say so myself.

Unfortunately, there's still issues at work to deal with. There was a blow-up between two people Thursday which might make things more interesting than they should be. There's also the whole soap opera with Keith to deal with.

I'm not looking forward to it at all. I've basically had it with people getting mad at others over stupid bullshit.

This last issue was over breaks and when people were going. It's stupid and there was no reason for any kind of yelling that went on. For one of the few times since I can remember, I was mad at someone I work with.

I'm not doing either of the two involved any favors for a while. They don't deserve it and I don't care what anyone says.

It shouldn't be so hard to get along with coworkers.