Sunday, October 10, 2004

I'm still trying to not get too far ahead of myself when it comes to Lisa. Okay, so we didn't hang out this weekend like planned because she got nervous and didn't feel comfortable with it yet. That kind of bummed me out, but I understand why she felt that way. It goes back to what she's been through, things I can't talk about.

I did get to experience the next-best thing though. I got to sit and talk to her on the phone practically the entire night last night. We both actually had to start charging our phones while talking because we were on the phone so long. We didn't actually say much, but we did watch tv together in a sense. It was fun. Not as much as it would have been if I had been sitting with her, but it'll do.

I don't know when we're going to get together though. I'm basically waiting on her to feel comfortable enough, and like it went with talking on the phone, I'm sure it will be a spur of the moment thing. She only lives 20 minutes away from me, so it's not a matter of time. It's a matter of comfort.

The girl's been through a lot of shit and is still putting up with a lot of shit. The one thing that's becoming clear is she's not afraid to talk to me about the things that are happening to her. She's opening up to me, yet I've only just cracked the surface of who she is.

One thing can't be denied and that is that I like her. She's been so wonderful to me, so sweet to me that I can't imagine how anything could have happened to her, especially the things that did happen. It just doesn't seem right. Maybe it's not fair either. Not just for her, but for me. I shouldn't have to work so hard to earn someone's trust, but now it doesn't seem like much anymore. I think we're both past the hardest part of the process.

I can't help but think that she could be a great girlfriend. I know I can't think that far ahead, but the way things have gone, the way she's treating me just as a friend (if that's all she's looking at me for), indicates to me that she'd be someone who would treat me well.

I have to wonder if she sometimes thinks the same of me. Yesterday we somehow got into a conversation about food. She said she wanted brownies and I mentioned I hadn't made brownies in a long time. She then said that we should make brownies together sometime. That later evolved into making dinner and brownies together. I'd make her food the way she liked it and she'd make mine the way I liked it.

That to me shows that we are thinking in the same way. Things that she thinks would be fun, I think would be fun and vice versa. The dynamic that's starting to develop between us is obvious to me and has a lot of potential.

That all said, there's still a chance that I could say one wrong thing and set everything back several steps. She's still very sensitive to certain things, and while I know what most of those things are now, I know there's always a possibility that I'll accidentally push a button with her and she could think that this is all a game to me again.

I think she's seeing me for who I am and she's realizing that I wasn't making anything up, but there's still a lot of progress to make before anything becomes set in stone. As it stands, I like where things are with us right now.

Things still seem to be headed in the right direction.

All that said, this was an interesting weekend. I babysat Evin on Friday night and it went pretty well. We played for about two hours or so, usually peek-a-boo or a game where he'd chase me, then I'd chase him back. It's amazing how well he walks for an 11-month old baby. He also talks to you, although you have no idea what he's saying.

He then got hungry and ate for about 15 minutes, then I changed his diaper, and started to carry him around because he seemed tired. Before I knew what had happened, he was out cold and stayed that way until right before Teresa got home from work.

It really was a fun night though. He didn't get fussy, although he did hit his head once, but it didn't take long to calm him down. For the most part, we played. He's hilarious too. He likes to hide, peek his head up, and see if you're watching him. If he sees you see him, he laughs. He also likes being scared. Damn weirdest thing.

Saturday, as I said, was spent talking to Lisa. We watched tv while talking on the phone together, talked about some stuff, and just enjoyed each other's voices for the night. I really feel strongly that she could be the right girl for me. I still have to wait and see how things go, but it's moving the way I want things to go.

Today wasn't that great of a day, but it wasn't because of any one reason why. Yes, the Browns lost like I thought they would, but it was closer than I thought. If the Browns had actually been able to score touchdowns instead of three field goals, it would have been 35-34 instead of 34-23. Given that, a couple of things were easy to see from this game. One, the Steelers are the class of the division. They have a good offense and everyone knows about the defense. Two, the Browns may still have a chance. They put up good numbers against a good Pittsburgh defense. Jeff Garcia seems to be getting more and more comfortable with each week.

Two things happened today that did kind of bother me from the NFL. They both involves games that I had picked in Commentary. One, I had the Seahawks beating the Rams. Well, for three and a half quarters, it seemed like it was readily in hand. It was 27-10 and I didn't think the Rams had a chance. Then I check online tonight and see the Rams won, 33-27. It was a pure WTF moment. I also had Arizona winning today. However, they too blew a huge fourth quarter lead, losing to the 49ers.

See if I ever pick those two teams again.

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It was a rough weekend for my mom. On Friday, she found Tom, her home-health patient of more than 15 years, was diagnosed with cancer. Details aren't really known yet, but it's not looking good for the man we call "Super-Quad." I hope to know more soon.

Even worse though? My grandmother on my mom's side is back in the hospital again. Those who remember the last time she went in, I didn't think she'd last long. I still don't think she's going to last very long. Everything's just failing in her body right now and there isn't much that can be done.

The part that gets to me is seeing the look in my mom's eyes. You can tell this is all dragging her down terribly. Everyone say a prayer for her patient and her mother.

Thank you.