Thursday, October 14, 2004

I have no right to be up right now still.

I really don't.

By all rights, I should be in bed, passed out, sleeping the night away until I have to get up for work again. I should not be sitting here in front of this god-forsaken computer.

Yet I am. Why?

I promised Lisa I'd be up when she called me back. This was around 9:30 or so as she was arriving to hang out with a group of friends I guess. I don't know. She never did tell me anything about what she was doing, just that if she wasn't having fun she'd call me and see if I wanted to get coffee with her or something.

Since about five hours have passed, I'm going to go out on a limb and say that's not going to happen.

It's fine with me too. I look like hell warmed over.

Right now, I'm just doing whatever I can to try and stay awake as long as I can with the idea that she's going to call me anytime now. The clock is my enemy though. The longer I go, the less sleep I get, and the crabby-potential meter rises with each hour I lose.

I refuse to go to sleep until I have to, but I also will not call her. I already told her I hate calling people late at night, and last I checked, 2:30 in the morning qualifies as very late at night.

I've basically been reduced to willing my phone to ring.

Any minute now would be just lovely.

Please?

Hmm. Doesn't seem to be working.

I may have to text message her and tell her I'm going to be going to bed soon; that if she wants to call me, it needs to be relatively soon.

I seem to remember last Thursday she was out and didn't call me until 3:30am though. That only leaves me about an hour of time to kill.

I don't think I can make it though. God why do I do this? Why in the hell am I sitting up still?

The shit I do just because I like this girl. Oh, and I feel bad because I was supposed to call her back last night to save her from a phone call and I kind of passed out. She gently reminded me of that tonight.

Wow, writing all that passed eight minutes of time.

I'm never going to make it.

Why is it when I have no reason to stay up, I can stay up until 4:30, 5am without any problem? Shit, it seems like I find it impossible to fall asleep in a lot of cases. But tonight, when I promised I'd be up? I'm drowsier than a lab rat about to be smeared with the latest in designer make-up.

It's the most fucking bizarre thing.

Now you know I'm tired. I'm swearing more.

For the love of all that's good, please call me soon Lisa. PLEASE!

Maybe if I write about my day it'll pass some time and she'll conveniently call while I'm writing.

Suppose that would require me to remember how my day went though. I do remember waking up before my alarm went off because someone was calling me from my store.

That's never good. It means someone either called off and I need to come in early or someone called off and they want me to stay late. This case? They wanted me to stay two hours later. Made no sense to me. I was working 1-9, Lennie was working 2-10, and the person who called off, Jean, was working 6-11. Why the hell did they need me to stay? You know what? Now that I think about it, I never got an answer to that.

I called them back and said I'd stay late if it was busy and they needed me. As it stood, work was not too bad. It was crazy at times, but it was never anything I hadn't dealt with before. If anything the evening went by real fast even though all I could think about was how much I wanted to talk to Lisa after work.

Lennie's cool to work with, even if you do have to kick him in the ass to get him going sometimes. Of course, I was screwing around with Keith. I don't know, I just like seeing him run around like mad when it's not really necessary. Lennie picked up on the fact that I was doing this and kept laughing every time someone would go up to the drop-off and I seemingly didn't see them, forcing Keith to go get it.

One of these days he'll catch on and I'll be so fucked. For now, it's funny.

I've basically done nothing since I got off of work. I did talk to Lisa for about ten minutes, but that's been it.

It's now 2:46am. I really don't think I'm going to make it. Just what in the hell is she doing anyway?

I swear, this shit's going to be the death of me. If I had known it would be nearly 3am and I still hadn't heard from her, I would've told her to call me tomorrow or some shit.

I watched part of the Louiseville/Miami game and a little bit of the Astros/Cardinals baseball game. When are teams going to learn that you can't just sit on a big lead against Miami, that they're going to come back? This is the third time I've watched them play a game where they fell behind early, only to storm back late because the other team basically stopped playing. Seriously, play for the whole game, not three quarters.

Oh, and the Cardinals are going to the World Series and they'll probably face the Yankees. Sorry Red Sox fans, but losing the first two games, plus Curt Schilling? You ain't going to overcome that. Face it, the Yankees own the Red Sox right now.

Hmm. Only 2:49 now. Son of a bitch.

I don't think I do this anymore. I think I'm going to text her and say goodnight or something. Maybe I'll call. I don't know. I'd hate to interrupt anything.

The things you do when you like someone.

The one thing that worries me if she does call at all tonight still is that I'm getting very crabby. I don't do well when I'm tired, and while I doubt she'd call past 4am, if she did, I can't say that I'd be entirely pleased with her.

I do want to talk to the girl, but this is a little insane.

Who knows, maybe she'll call in the next ten to fifteen minutes.

Or maybe she won't. I don't know.

I just can't stay up much longer.

Man is she lucky I like her so much.