MY LIFE - NOVEMBER

Friday, November 17, 2000

I don't swear that much and I think it shows since I don't get any complaints from people about the language in this site. To be truthful, I've toned it down a great deal, although around the right people, I can still develop a filthy mouth. I don't like swearing as much as I used to. Maybe it's from growing up and realizing that more often than not, I end up shocking people more than anything else.

People don't expect me to swear. I still have memories of people I would talk to and let a cuss word out and how they would react. It was always amazement, always an "I didn't know you swore" kind of thing. It's true though. I do use profanity, but not like I used to. I used to use it all the time, like I had to make a point all the time.

Yeah, right, like I always have something important to say all the time.

Anyway, I would swear and I think the opposite of what I hoped would happen happened. Instead of people getting my point and taking it seriously, they looked at me like I was an idiot. Maybe I was. Swearing only gets you so far and probably does more damage than it does you good. I know when I listen to some girls cuss profusely, it doesn't appeal to me.

It probably works the same way when a girl hears a guy swearing like he never learned any other words in his life. It has to be a turn off. The only people who like that are people who swear a lot themselves. I'm not really like that. At least that's what I like to think. I know when I was in high school it was terrible. I'd swear all the time like it really helped me.

I gradually learned that I didn't like the way it sounded. Sure, fuck will get you attention, but not always the desired attention. I don't like using that word that much anymore anyway. It's so overused in movies it's lost its effect. It dulls you more than anything else. It doesn't make you look tough or sound good. It makes you sound like you're one of the hundreds of millions of people who've used it in the last five seconds.

In movies, every other word is fuck now. I see a movie and a sentence contains six variations of the word. It's unbelievable. How much emphasis do we need? Do we think we're catering to a bunch of imbeciles who know no other words? Maybe so. Society is much more crude than it used to be. There's no pride in being articulate. I can't use half the words I know because no one knows what they mean.

I'm forced to use simple, one and two syllable words. I'm always in shock when I talk to someone who has a little knowledge of the English language and how to use it. I read e-mail from one person, Diane, and find it interesting that she possesses grammar skills. I was actually in shock while reading her e-mails, not because of what she wrote, but how she wrote it.

I'm off my point though. Swearing is not necessary to convey a point. It doesn't even help as much as it used to. I only sprinkle cuss words in every now and then for the purpose of making a point. I think in this site, profanity makes my point stand out a little more. I don't swear as much so you don't see it that much. When you do see it, it sticks out.

It's the same when I'm talking. I don't curse like I used to. It's not necessary. I'll still swear, but not every other word. If a customer pisses me off, I'll call them a bitch or asshole, but quietly after they've left (I'm not stupid people). I'll use shit every now and then, usually when I mess something up. I like to use "bitch" a lot, but not in reference to any women around. I don't use it too often that way unless a woman customer makes me mad.

Maybe in the future, I'll cut it out completely. I doubt that, but you never know. I might not find reason to curse anymore or maybe society will grow up a little bit.

That's a joke though. Society will never grow up as a whole, especially not with my generation. This generation has enough trouble staying out of trouble and keeping sober.

---

Today was busy at work, but it wasn't bad. There wasn't any name calling or snipping behind someone's back, aside from Joann's, but she's not the friendliest herself, so I'm not worried about that. It was busy though, then it started to snow and it was really cold outside. Drive-thru was not a whole lot of fun tonight. A couple times the snow was blowing right at the window, causing me to get some snow in my face.

It only amounted to about a half-inch, but that was more significant than anything else we've had all year. At one point, visibility was so low that you could barely see the bar across the street from us. The wind was bad though. It was blowing right from the northwest and our drive-thru faces the north. We were getting the wind straight at us.

Then I had to deal with Linda deciding she wasn't going to ring register. I came in and thought I was going to be typing or filling or maybe working on the new/discontinued item listings that I started last night, but she never budged. She also played the game of not getting drive-thru even though everyone else was occupied, including me. I finally got her to get on the register after about two hours on it myself.

I helped Paul fill scripts while typing every now and then, but we were in a pretty good hole. There were a lot of labels that were stacked up pretty good, a stack I didn't get caught up on until about 7:30. I also didn't take much of a break today again, instead bringing my sub into the pharmacy and eating it between fills while sitting on a stool in the back of the pharmacy.

We finally got caught up and I was able to resume on the new/discontinued item listings that obviously hadn't been worked on too much in the last two months since some of them went back to September. This is something that I'm going to bring up with Steve along with my pay and the lead tech thing.

This store's shelves are a mess though. If I had time, I'd go through each shelf and get the labels straightened out since it needs it. There were reports in the stack I had that I remembered doing at my old store before the transfer. There are items that I'm seeing on the shelf that I know are either warehouse items or wholesale items (despite Joann telling me otherwise) that are either labeled wrong or not labeled at all.

I caught that up though and will probably be sporadically checking from time to time to see if I can get some more labels up in the future. The store needs it.

I need to talk to someone about my pay. It seems to me that people at that pharmacy are making the same amount of money as me with less experience than me. I've been working three years and I'm making the same amount of money as at least one of the techs who's been working one year. Something's wrong with that and that needs to be addressed. I'm not comfortable there. How much longer before she's making more than me in less time?

I also need to go over the lead tech thing. Linda seems hooked on the idea and has Regina's backing. I need to see who Steve, Bob (my manager), and my DM think would be better for the job or who they would prefer. If they want to go by store seniority, Linda's the one. If they want overall experience, that's me. I just want to be on the same page as them.

But I have to worry about next week. I'm working 51 hours next week which should at least shut everyone up about how much work I do and how often I'm working, especially at my store. I work 8 hours at my old store, then 6 more hours Monday and 5 more hours Tuesday to help out. I hope they appreciate it. If they don't, I'm going to have some serious reservations about helping in the future.

I'll see how it goes though. I think I'll be fine, but I've been wrong before. We all know that though. We also know I'm stupid too, so kick me or something.