Saturday, December 25, 2004

It's been approximately two weeks since my last entry. In that span of two weeks, I've managed to not get better from the sickness that I've had.

To say I'm annoyed is quite possibly the understatement of the year. To say I'm aggravated beyond possible comprehension is much closer.

I personally like to say enough of this shit.

As much as I loooove coughing at all hours of the day and night, as much as I loooove blowing my nose every two minutes, I could seriously do without this. It's not only an inconvenience, but it's mad gross.

I can't believe I just used mad in that context.

Anyway, it's detrimental to my cause of seeking out a girl to make my girlfriend, not that I've actually been trying. I'm talking to someone, but whether or not it leads to anything is still too far off in the future. However, being sick does not help my chances, although I know she's understanding of this. More on that situation in a moment.

Right now, it's Christmas. It's time to be happy, time to enjoy the things that you have in life. Especially all those who talk as if their world's going to end in the next week. I'm sorry, but I'm getting a little annoyed with the sheer number of people who sound seriously depressed who don't really have reason to. This does not include people who have legitimate reasons for being unhappy, just those who act that way.

I personally am enjoying this holiday season. I know that I have a lot of things that others don't have and while I could be doing better, I could be doing a whole hell of a lot worse. It's called putting things into perspective. Some of you would serve well to try it sometime.

Ahh, but what's happened lately?

We had an interesting experience at work involving the Extracare coupons that print on receipts. A little known secret about the coupons is that they work on any purchase, not just what they're supposed to be used on. For instance, a $4 off a $20 purchase coupon could be used anytime, not just when you spent $20.

Well, we figured it out and were using the coupons on all kind of things that we weren't supposed to. Our pharmacists claimed to know nothing about it, but I'm almost positive Keith had done it before. This is important because Loss Prevention found out and came calling to the store.

Some people were called into the office and I don't know much about what happened. I just know that it wasn't very nice and there were threats of termination being handed out. I didn't get called up myself since I rarely ring register and almost never remembered to bring any coupons with me, much less use them.

To me, it was pretty petty. Yes, some people abused the coupons, but why did they work in the first place? Generally, the register isn't supposed to accept a coupon if it isn't for the specifications on the coupon itself. This has led many to believe it was done on purpose to set us employees up. If so, it was pretty sneaky and an easy way to possibly lose a few employees.

I'm trying to think of anything else that happened at work, but frankly, I can't. Most of my time at work was spent blowing my nose in the back aisle. I reached a whole new level of disgusting during this time frame, a level you don't ever want to experience or see in a person.

How sick was I? I wouldn't even try to gross others out, something I always do when I'm sick.

The only other thing that I remember was yesterday when I was at work and I wore a Santa hat on the job. This is pretty significant to those who worked with me in the past. Why would I say that?

In years past when I worked with Mike, he always wore one during this time of year, but I would refuse. I thought it was silly and didn't want to put myself in the position of looking like a complete ass.

Well, my stance changed on that this year. It may be due to me being in the holiday spirit for once, but whatever it was, I was going to wear a Santa hat on Christmas Eve. And I did, proudly I might add. I didn't even take it off when I went up front to talk to someone for a minute.

This probably has a lot to do with me breaking out of the depression I was in too. It's long since-gone and because of it, I've been having fun again, laughing more, and basically being myself again. Consequentially, I've enjoyed the holidays this year.

My optimism is back. Oh, and my sarcasm is back in full force too. I know it had been missing for a while, but it's returned with a vengeance, especially while at work.

It would explain the "Merry Christmas motherfuckers" line I was spitting in my last hour at work, or the "ho ho ho" comment made to Roberta. Just understand that three women worked that day in the pharmacy and you'll understand the joke immediately. Yes, I got hit. Yes, it was all in good fun.

Being back to myself is allowing me to talk to girls without feeling like I need to make something happen quick. While there are a couple that could be potential girlfriends, I can't assume anything. I just am going to let things go the way they are meant to go.

That said, I do have two coworkers who have been hell-bent on finding me someone to be with, Cyndi and Diana. Diana tried to get with me way back when before she had a boyfriend, back when she wasn't legal, and Cyndi, while in her 30's has said repeatedly that she'd be after me if she didn't already have a guy (take that for what it's worth).

Cyndi sometimes works in the pharmacy while Diana is a shift supervisor. Cyndi is constantly pointing out girls and from what I've heard, has asked girls when they've been in the store if they had a boyfriend. Both of them came up with the idea to talk to a girl up front, Leslie. Leslie is a very, very pretty girl, but I really had never talked to her since she seemed to have no interest in me.

I gradually started talking to her a little bit and found her to be a pretty nice girl, but it still didn't seem like she had much interest in me. I said this to Cyndi and she said she'd find out for me. A few days went by before I worked with her again and I hadn't really thought much of it, in fact, I figured she'd come back to me and say Leslie didn't have any interest. Not being negative, just being realistic.

Not only was I wrong, but it turned out that Leslie wanted to hang out with me, not just talk to me. Cyndi told me to go talk to her, ask her out on a date, and see what happens.

Either Leslie is very good at hiding interest, or Cyndi and Diana said something to her to convince her one way or another to give it a shot. I'm curious to find out what was said, but I haven't had a chance yet to find out. In fact, Leslie and I haven't had a chance to hang out at all because she's been busy and is going to be out of town for a week.

That said, she does seem to be interested. She's returned calls when she couldn't answer and she asks me things that tells me she wants to know more about me, that she's interested in how I am. I really do think that when she gets back in town, we'll get together.

What happens after that is anyone's guess, but even if I just make a friend, that will be fine with me.

In the meantime, it gives me a week to get healthy and not be so gross. It would really suck to take her on a date and still be coughing up a storm, blowing my nose, and looking like something that was dragged out of a graveyard.

We'll see what happens though. She is really pretty and seems sweet, so it might depend on how she thinks about me.

---

I have a couple of obsessions. One is well-known, another is just starting to rear its ugly head. The first one is my obsession with Snoopy. Everyone knows that about me. From the snoopy plush toys to my snoopy ties, I'm fairly addicted. There's no real good reason why either.

My other has started to show more lately. You may have heard of it.

It's Southpark, and it's my new crack. Figures it's on Comedy Central, the same people who had me addicted to Mystery Science Theater 3000 all those years ago. I've been watching it for years now, but only recently have I found myself addicted. You could say it started with the Southpark movie, but I'm still waiting on my replacement copy from Cyndi and it's been a few weeks now.

No, it started with my compulsive decision to buy the first season of episodes on DVD. I watched them all, remembered most of them, and laughed at all of them, in particular, the episode where Cartman has a satellite dish sticking out of his ass. There are some moments in that episode alone that are priceless.

The obsession forced me to buy the second season and probably will force me to succumb and buy three and four as well.

Now that I think of it, I'm also compelled to buy the extended version of Lord of the Rings: Return of the King.

Houston, we have a problem.

It's all my mom's fault. She's a compulsive shopper, buying things the moment she sees them if she wants them. I do the same thing, only on a larger, more expensive scale. I buy DVDs on a whim, games when I feel like it, and CDs even though I don't need to.

I take it to a more specific level with things though. I don't just buy any movie, game, or CD, I buy specific ones that I've become obsessed with. It's why I'll own the complete set of Lord of the Rings. It's why I'll have the complete set of Southpark. It's why I own Halo 2 and will probably preorder the next Legend of Zelda game.

Let's face it, I'm special and not always in a desirable way. But you gotta hand it to me. When I want something, I go after it.

---

I'd writing something deep and thought-provoking, but I frankly don't give a shit to think too much tonight. I did have a good holiday, I've had a good couple of weeks, and I would much rather relax than tax my brain on any subject at all.

However, the last few months have been interesting, and should I do a year in review, it would be intriguing to revisit the events of the past several months again. I can't help but wonder if there was one specific moment that triggered my depression, or if it was a serious of events. I wonder if it occurred sooner than I think it did and I just wasn't aware of it.

I remember back when I was talking to Molly. I remember feeling depressed then, but then getting over it relatively quick. Did it start with her because I let myself get too far ahead of myself? Did I not actually recover from the mistakes I made with her?

I think in a lot of ways, I didn't. I let things simmer below the surface which affected how I handled future situations with girls. Outside of a couple, most situations ended pretty badly for me. While I'm not saying it was always all my fault, I played a part in not learning from previous experiences.

Knowing now that I've snapped out of the depression, I can see that I didn't handle a lot of things well. I let a lot of things happen that wouldn't normally happen with me. I started getting away from the things that made people like me in the first place.

If I'm going to have any chance with Leslie, I have to be able to be myself and she has to be able to accept who I am. If I do that, then I can't blame myself at all if things don't work out. If I don't, then I have to take some, if not all the blame.

In any event, I want to wish everyone a Happy Holiday. No matter what your faith, religion, or belief, this is a time of year to be happy, enjoy what you have, and look forward to the coming year.

I want everyone to be safe and look out for those you care about.

Those who know me, Merry Christmas you motherfuckers!