Here's some of the things Bart has written on the blackboard at the beginning of the theme song:
I will not waste chalk
I will not aim for the head
I will not barf unless I'm sick
I will not conduct my own fire drills
I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty
I will not encourage others to fly
I will not prescribe medication
I will not bury the new kid
I will not trade pants with others
I will not drive the principal's car
I will not sell school property
I will not charge admission to the bathroom
I will not get very far with this attitude
I will not grease the monkey bars
I will not hide behind the 5th Amendment
I will not use abbrev.
I will not dissect things unless instructed
I will not mock Mrs. Dumbface
I saw nothing unusual in the teachers' lounge
I did not see Elvis
They are laughing at me not with me
This punishment is not boring and meaningless
My name is not Dr. Death
A burp is not an answer
The principal's toupee is not a frisbee
Goldfish don't bounce
Underwear should be worn on the inside
I am not a dentist
Hamsters cannot fly
My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man
Organ transplants are best left to professionals
Next time it could be me on the scaffolding
Ralph won't "morph" if you squeeze him hard enough
Beans are neither fruit nor musical
I do not have power of attorney of first graders
Cursive writing does not mean what I think it does
I will not hide the teacher's Prozac
I was not told to do this
To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of lifes problems!
Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen.
English! Who needs English?? I'm never going to England!
Lisa, if you don't like your job you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.
Main
Friends | Calvin and Hobbes | The Farside | The Simpsons | Comics | Canada |
Kickn' Cars | Guestbook | Links |