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Thanks for over 2400 visits in '97!

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Imagination Online Magazine

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	Carpe Shar-Pei! -- "Seize the dog that looks like Ernest Borgnine!" Okay, we're halfway through the "Year of the Ocean" (No kidding! UN Sanctioned and everything!) and we still can't get Clinton off TV. If it's not this or that scandal, it's foreign policy. What is our deal with China? I mean Bush vomits on the Prime Minister, then Clinton talks about the Tienamen Square riots over the open uncensored airwaves there. People there can't talk about it in public, he talks about it on national radio. The Chinese are probably considering never letting a U. S. President on their soil again! That's why I say we elect Carrot Top. Seal the deal. Any number of his silly gadgets would set their flag ablaze instantly. Aside from that, the world keeps spinning, which is a polite way of saying that despite films like Godzilla and Armageddon, the world isn't coming to an end this second. Sounds like a good enough reason to party! You get the Chex Mix and beverages, I'll bring the inflatable sheep and Shake 'n' Bake! Actually, I was kidding. We don't need Chex Mix. I did want to say a couple of things really quick about movie reviewers this time around: First, Escapism: learn what it means. Second: Art means almost nothing. Sure there are a lot of "visually stunning" films that have come out that did nothing for me. There are some films that were excellent in premise that had such deep hidden meanings you couldn't even consider the film without thinking about it's symbolism. People spend their money to watch films that affect them. If I'm paying for a ticket, it's because I want to be on the edge of my seat, or moved, or I want to laugh or cry, not to see how many shades of purple are in the sunset. In other words if I feel I just wasted the ticket price, I'm ready to tell you where to put your two thumbs. I don't believe I'm alone in this. The envelope please! Rule #10: "Killing me softly" is a song, not a request. "Just shoot me" is a request... and a television show. An easy mistake, but the deejays have asked me to clarify this. Rule #9: The Llama. Rule #8: The Guest book and the Discussion Board are our friends! (HUGE hints here... :) ) Rule #7: No, that is STILL not my finger. Rule #6: Yes I know what the fifth dentist in the 4 out of 5 dentists commercial said. Rule #5: No, I won't tell you. Rule #4: The Birch. Rule #3: Free roaming thoughts are like free range chicken. Except they are a little juicier and don't wind up on a plate. Let your chicken roam wild! Rule #2: Rants never hurt anyone... and some people make a nice living at it! Rule #1: If you want to see the last opening screen, click here. Some things never change... :) And the winner is! Rule #.5: Remember, it's all in fun, so if I offend someone with something here, let everyone know. I could use the publicity.

Carpe Shar-Pei!

-- "Seize the dog that looks like Ernest Borgnine!"

Okay, we're halfway through the "Year of the Ocean" (No kidding! UN Sanctioned and everything!) and we still can't get Clinton off TV. If it's not this or that scandal, it's foreign policy. What is our deal with China? I mean Bush vomits on the Prime Minister, then Clinton talks about the Tienamen Square riots over the open uncensored airwaves there. People there can't talk about it in public, he talks about it on national radio. The Chinese are probably considering never letting a U. S. President on their soil again!
That's why I say we elect Carrot Top. Seal the deal. Any number of his silly gadgets would set their flag ablaze instantly.

Aside from that, the world keeps spinning, which is a polite way of saying that despite films like Godzilla and Armageddon, the world isn't coming to an end this second. Sounds like a good enough reason to party! You get the Chex Mix and beverages, I'll bring the inflatable sheep and Shake 'n' Bake!
Actually, I was kidding. We don't need Chex Mix.

I did want to say a couple of things really quick about movie reviewers this time around: First, Escapism: learn what it means. Second: Art means almost nothing. Sure there are a lot of "visually stunning" films that have come out that did nothing for me. There are some films that were excellent in premise that had such deep hidden meanings you couldn't even consider the film without thinking about it's symbolism. People spend their money to watch films that affect them. If I'm paying for a ticket, it's because I want to be on the edge of my seat, or moved, or I want to laugh or cry, not to see how many shades of purple are in the sunset. In other words if I feel I just wasted the ticket price, I'm ready to tell you where to put your two thumbs. I don't believe I'm alone in this.

The envelope please!

Rule #10: "Killing me softly" is a song, not a request. "Just shoot me" is a request... and a television show. An easy mistake, but the deejays have asked me to clarify this.
Rule #9: The Llama.
Rule #8: The Guest book and the Discussion Board are our friends! (HUGE hints here... :) )
Rule #7: No, that is STILL not my finger.
Rule #6: Yes I know what the fifth dentist in the 4 out of 5 dentists commercial said.
Rule #5: No, I won't tell you.
Rule #4: The Birch.
Rule #3: Free roaming thoughts are like free range chicken. Except they are a little juicier and don't wind up on a plate. Let your chicken roam wild!
Rule #2: Rants never hurt anyone... and some people make a nice living at it!
Rule #1: If you want to see the last opening screen, click here. Some things never change... :)

And the winner is!

Rule #.5: Remember, it's all in fun, so if I offend someone with something here, let everyone know. I could use the publicity.

L y n x	Something on your mind? There's a LOT on mine! Feel free to probe the reptilian cranium in the rants room...	Whatever you do, please don't forget to sign the Guest book!!

	One other thing. I do not use "placeholder" links to pages that say they are under construction, and I do not use frames. I have very little Java here, which makes this place easier to live with than a Tasmanian Devil with a toothache. As with any web page, this is a work in progress. The key difference is that if there is a link here, it is live or it is gone... Let me know if you find something that takes you into Bermuda without your shorts. Thanks! Questions or comments? e-mail ptyrtl@oocities.com Now serving number Counter courtesy LE FastCounter

One other thing. I do not use "placeholder" links to pages that say they are under construction, and I do not use frames. I have very little Java here, which makes this place easier to live with than a Tasmanian Devil with a toothache. As with any web page, this is a work in progress. The key difference is that if there is a link here, it is live or it is gone... Let me know if you find something that takes you into Bermuda without your shorts. Thanks!

Questions or comments? e-mail ptyrtl@oocities.com

Now serving number

Counter courtesy LE FastCounter

All typographical errors, mindless banter and turtlegraphics (c) The Paisley Turtle Press (tPtP)/Kitty Letters 1997, 1998. All rights reserved. Of course, if you want to reproduce anything, just ask. I'm extremely flexible. All submissions are the property of their respective writers, and I do not take responsibility for their content.