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| "ROCK AND RIDE!" |
VINNIE: Yep, that's me! I'm the baddest motorcycle mamma-jammer in the universe!
THROTTLE: Modest, too.
THROTTLE: Vincent, it works better if you shoot before the weapon flies out the door.
VINNIE: Yeah, well, um....timing is everything.
VINNIE: Whoah! Imminent destruction! What a rush!
THROTTLE: Guys, lemme tell you something. In this wild and woolly universe of ours, there are only three things you can count on: your brains…your bros…and your bike!
CHARLEY: I don't believe this. I've just been saved by a bunch of giant.... gerbils?
THROTTLE: Mice, ma'am, we're mice.
CHARLEY: Mice…?
MODO: You were expecting turtles, maybe?
CHARLEY: Mice. With antennas …and biker clothes…and motorcycles…and--
VINNIE: Don't forget your basic studly bod.
CHARLEY: I've seen better.
VINNIE: Maybe, but not with this much charm.
CHARLEY: Where on Earth did you guys come from?
MODO: Mars.
CHARLEY: Mars?!
THROTTLE: Mars.
CHARLEY: Mars?!?!?
VINNIE: Is there an echo in here?
LIMBURGER: Ah, Chicago. Soon, all your precious soil will be mine. Then New York, Paris, Hamburg, Detroit…well, maybe not Detroit. Those motor-city maniacs are a little too crazy for me.
| "THE REEKING REIGN OF HEAD CHEESE" |
GREASEPIT: You wanted t'see me, boss?
LIMBURGER: No, but sometimes I have to.
CHARLEY: Typical guys. Riding off to save the world by blowing up everything in sight.
THROTTLE: Okay, we're here. Now, let's play this smooth and subtle. Anybody got a plan?
VINNIE: I say we blast our way in, smash everything in sight, blow Karbunkle through a wall-
MODO: And then grab Limburger and pound his face until he releases the mayor!
THROTTLE: Hmm. Smooth. Subtle. I like it.
VINNIE: This is tougher than a motorcross race during a demolition derby! More fun, too!
VINNIE: It's not funny! My lips are an intergalactic treasure!
THROTTLE: Would be if you had any.
MODO: Yeah, mice with lips! What's next--chipmunks that sing?
THROTTLE: How about No-Hands Maneuver Number 5?
VINNIE: Aw, can't we do Number 3 instead? I look so cool in that one!
THROTTLE: Number 5, Vincent.
THROTTLE: Man, this guy's testimony is as dirty as he is.
VINNIE: It's unfair.
MODO: And unfair makes me unhappy. Stand aside.
VINNIE: What're you gonna do, Big Fella?
THROTTLE: You're not a lawyer!
MODO: Naw, but I seen every single episode of LA Law three times!
| "WE DON'T NEED NO STINKIN' CITY" |
VINNIE: (to Charley, who's defusing a bomb strapped to his chest) Just you and me, babe. In about a billion pieces.
LIMBURGER: Well, gentlemen, it would seem you have failed. Again. You have failed as you always have failed. Completely. Do you know what this means?
GREASEPIT: We get to go union?
LIMBURGER: Activate the Transport. Set if for the lowest, the vilest, the most disgusting team of twisted evil enforcers Plutark ever produced!
KARBUNKLE: Not the Smurfs!
GREASEPIT: Do I get paid for that?
LIMBURGER: I'll double your salary. Now move!
GREASEPIT: You got it, Mr. L! Wow! I used to get paid nothin'! Now I'll get twice as much!
MODO: Don't kiss the pavement!
VINNIE: I never kiss on the first date!
MODO: Yeah, like I believe that.
VINNIE: Hey, it made a cool line, all right?
MODO: Holy moly! Senior citizen splatterfest!
| "A MOUSE AND HIS MOTORCYCLE" |
THROTTLE: Bros, this is not what I consider being on guard.
VINNIE: Aw, lighten up, Throttle! We're still watchin' the armory.
MODO: Yeah. We're just havin' us a nice friendly little tractor-pull contest whilst we maintain our vigilance.
THROTTLE: We gotta stop this thing, or we're gonna be two all-mouse patties--
VINNIE: --special sauce--
THROTTLE: --lettuce, cheese--
VINNIE: No cheese! No cheese! I hate cheese!
VINNIE: Easy, bro! We'll get it, we'll get it! Charley's got a great plan!
CHARLEY: It's a dangerous plan!
VINNIE: That's why I like it!
CHARLEY: Listen up, then. I've hooked up the sleep gas canister to this button. Fire it when you get inside.
VINNIE: Yeah, yeah, get to the good part, sweetheart.
CHARLEY: And this is your new super-charger.
VINNIE: Gettin' warmer…
CHARLEY: It'll give you thirty seconds of super-sonic speed. Got that?
VINNIE: Ya-ha-ha! Can this girl cook or what? CHARLEY: Listen to me! Thirty seconds. No more. After that--BOOM! The super-charger goes up like a bomb. And if it's still on the bike, so do you.
VINNIE: Impending catastrophe…That's why I LOVE IT!
MODO: He's a wild mouse.
THROTTLE: How has he lived this long?
KARBUNKLE: There there, now, just hold still…This won't hurt a bit. I'm just going to cut you open and look at your brain!
| "TEST OF FRIENDSHIP" |
LIMBURGER: The reason those Biker Mice are virtually unbeatable is because they work so well as a team. In order to conquer them, they must be divided!
GREASEPIT: Duh, you mean like cut 'em in little tiny pieces?
VINNIE: Hey sweetheart--room for two on my bike.
CHARLEY: Yeah. You and your ego.
ONE OF THE PUKES OF HAZARD: (to Modo) Hey, mouse-boy! Ever eat a pine tree? Many parts are edible.
| "THE MASKED MOTORCYCLIST" |
MODO: My, my, my. It looks like the old gang again plus one.
VINNIE: Ha! I didn't know you could add, bro!
MODO: Ah might not know everything about math, but ah know how to total things!
VINNIE: Aw, man! She split again! Maybe I'm just too cool and too handsome and…stuff…Makes her nervous.
THROTTLE: Yeah. Or maybe it's just your incredible humility.
VINNIE: Could be, you know. Could be.
MODO: Boy's got an ego bigger than Limburger's rear end...
VINNIE: Hey, what's that?
MODO: That's Morse code!
THROTTLE: What's it sayin', Modo?
MODO: It says…beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep!
| "THE PITS" |
CHARLEY: Thanks for the escort, guys. The Last Chance doesn't bring in much bread, but I'd hate to lose it.
THROTTLE: That's us! Biker bodyguards!
MODO: At your service, ma'am!
VINNIE: Yeah, and let me tell you--
CHARLEY: I hope you weren't about to say mine's a body you'd love to guard. Because if you do, I'll tie your tail in a knot!
VINNIE: It's so weird! I swear sometimes that woman could read my mind!
THROTTLE: Yeah, well, we got news for you, bro…
CHARLEY: It ain't real hard.
MODO: So what's the plan?
THROTTLE: We gotta turn this free-fall into a long, controlled jump! Now, on my signal, we fire our jets.
MODO: Think it'll work?
THROTTLE: You want an honest answer?
MODO: Uhhhhh…
THROTTLE: Take your time…
MODO: No!
THROTTLE: Good! Let's do it!
CHARLEY: Vinnie, you don't understand. The Pits have been taken over by some of the worst criminals on Earth! If Throttle and Modo are down there, they must be fighting for their lives! They could be getting beaten, shot at, blown up…
VINNIE: Cool!
CHARLEY: We have to do something!
VINNIE: We are! We're sending…ME down there!
CHARLEY: Vinnie, be serious!
VINNIE: Hey, Charley-girl, if my bros are getting beaten up, or shot at, or blown up, et cetera, then Vinnie is gonna be there!
CHARLEY: Why Vinnie, that's very noble.
VINNIE: Noble, schmoble! You think I'm gonna let those two glory hogs keep all the fun for themselves? Right! I can't wait to get down there!
CHARLEY: You're a real piece of work, Vinnie.
VINNIE: Hey, pretty lady--what took you so long to notice?
VINNIE: Well, you know me, Charley-girl! Safety first, that's my motto!
CHARLEY: Oh, yeah. You're just a model of restraint, you are.
VINNIE: My bros! You seen 'em! Where are they?
THUG: Th-th-the Pit Boss! He's got 'em! But they've been givin' him a lot of trouble--
VINNIE: Aw heck! I knew they'd be havin' fun without me! Are they alright?
THUG: Th-th-they been sentenced to die! In the arena!
VINNIE: Oh man! I miss out on everything!
| "ROAD RAVENS" |
VINNIE: Yes! I beat Throttle! I'm the baron of brodies! The baddest mamajammer this side of Betelgeuse!
THROTTLE: (to Modo under his breath) You'd better smoke him, or we'll never hear the end of this.
MODO: Some hero you are! You saved my life but busted my leg! I don't know whether to hug you or hit you!
THROTTLE: I'd rather have either than be peelin' you off the wall.
MODO: Mhhm...ah'll buy that.
VINNIE: (on finding out Charley used his bandanna to sling his broken arm) MY BANDANA! That was my lucky bandana! I never got wiped when I had my lucky bandana!
THROTTLE: News flash, bro!
MODO: I think the warranty ran out.
CHARLEY: Besides, you'd have been really upset if I'd used your pants.
THROTTLE: Be true to your teeth or they'll be false to you!
VINNIE: Whatcha writin', Modo, good-buddy, trucker twin? Somethin' cool, nothin' blue, you copy?
MODO: It's from the bottom of my heart, bro.
VINNIE: Aww… "To Vinnie--who broke this arm trying to pat himself on the back?!?? Get better soon!??"
LIMBURGER: Take the payment to Jimmy Mac, and instruct him to have the gasoline ready for shipment tomorrow night. This time tomorrow, all Plutark will hail me as the man who gave them...gas!
THROTTLE: Go on, guys…I gotta…get my bike.
CHARLEY: Throttle!
VINNIE: Give him space. Just get in the truck.
(Charley glares at him)
VINNIE: (exasperated) It's a guy thing, okay?
| "A SCENT, A MEMORY, A FAR DISTANT CHEESE" |
LIMBURGER: Biker Mice!? What an unpleasant awakening!
THROTTLE: Well, gettin' an eyeful of your ugly mug first thing in the morning is no picnic, either, pal.
THROTTLE: Well, I hate to say it, bros, but it looks like we missed our chance to catch Limburger by surprise.
VINNIE: Aw, man, bummer! For this we skipped breakfast?
MUNSTERELLA: Mice for the midday meal! How trés chic!
VINNIE: Hey! You can't eat me! I'm too cool to die!
CHARLEY: Hey! Mr. And Mrs. Monster! Before you eat, maybe you'd like to check out the appetizer! Namely, Vinnie's baby picture!
VINNIE: Oh man! Bad enough I'm gonna be monster mulch--I gotta be humiliated, too?
| "STEELFINGER" |
THROTTLE: (regarding Modo) Poor guy. This just ain't like him.
VINNIE: Yeah, we gotta cheer him up somehow! I could sing him a song!
CHARLEY: Vinnie, aren't things bad enough already?
THROTTLE: Let's ride-
VINNIE & MODO: --n' Rock?!
| "CHILL ZONE" |
THROTTLE: (playing Santa) Oh, no, man! You don't really want toys that look some waterlogged reptiles, do you?
VINNIE: Yeah! Fuzzy and buff is where it's at!
KARBUNKLE: Something is destroying the Snow-Suckers!
LIMBURGER: These days, 'something' always seems to be those bothersome Biker Mice!
LIMBURGER: What's that?
KARBUNKLE: The sun, your mellow richness.
LIMBURGER: I know it's the sun, you simpering simpleton! But what is it doing there?
KARBUNKLE: Uh…shining?
LIMBURGER: Hmmm. I wonder how the Biker Mice's little wayward waifs are weathering this wintry weather.
KARBUNKLE: I would wager not well, your camembertness.
LIMBURGER: And then, with all Earth's water in my control, the leaders of the Earth will beg me to take their natural resources in exchange for…a sip of water.
| "HARD ROCK" |
THROTTLE: (regarding Vinnie and Modo's godawful singing) Whoah, whoah, whoah, whoah! Donny, Marie, would you save the harmonizing for later?
FRED THE MUTANT: Hard Rock!? Oh, he's my fave! I got all his eight-tracks!
THROTTLE: We always swore that if we ever saw him again, man, we'd strip the strings from his guitar.
THROTTLE: All right, Hard Rock. It's just you and me now, one on one. So let the lady go.
HARD ROCK: (putting down his weapon and stepping aside) There. Happy now? Or should I raise me hands, too?
THROTTLE: What are you up to?
VINNIE: Yeah, we were gonna watch him take you apart!
MODO: Ain't no fun if you surrender.
HARD ROCK: I get the impression you blokes don't like me.
VINNIE: "Don't like you?" Sweetheart, I'd rather kiss Limburger on the lips than be on the same planet with you!
(Charley groans)
VINNIE: (quickly) Hey, it's just your standard hero talk. Macho stuff, you know.
KARBUNKLE: And in the meantime--what shall we do with these prisoners?
LIMBURGER: Dispose of them. Slowly. And painfully.
THROTTLE: What?! Why, you lousy lump of corruptin' cheddar, you gave your word!
LIMBURGER: If my word was worth anything, I wouldn't be much of a villain, now would I?
| STEAL OF THE CENTURY |
LITTLE MILITARY GUY: Well, as you can see, Mr. Limburger, this here 'Annihilator' combines state of the art technology with the finest in weaponry and other peacekeeping equipment. Whoo-hoo! You should see one of these babies in action, sir, you really should! She comes barrellin' in, guns a-blazin', missiles a-flyin', whoo-whee! Leaves a swath of perfect peace a mile wide. Aw, it's a little piece of heaven, I'm tellin' you!
LIMBURGER: (on the Annihilator's price tag) How do you justify this outrageous expense?!
LITTLE MILITARY GUY: Well, now sir, you got your parts overruns, your pork barrels, and parts of course…There's the X-14 combat toilet seat, shoot, that's twelve million right there, buddy!
CHARLEY: Thanks for giving me a lift to the store, guys.
VINNIE: No problem!
THROTTLE: Yeah, it was the least we could do after our ball game benched your fridge.
MODO: Vinnie's fault!
VINNIE: No way! Body checks with bazookas are legal!
(Modo glares)
VINNIE: On Mars.
CHARLEY: (about to be crushed by a tank) AHHHHHHHHHHHH!
VINNIE: Got a real way with words, doesn't she?
CHARLEY: (almost blasted by a laser) AHHHHHHHHHHHH!
MODO: Brief and to the point!
PULVERIZER: Ahh, covert operations. I love modern warfare.
LIMBURGER: But this is not warfare, my dear Pulverizer. This is business.
PULVERIZER: Same thing.
LIMBURGER: You'll do well, my boy. Very well, indeed…
| "WE'RE GOING TO CHEESYLAND" |
MODO: Foul! Foul! You can't violate a course hazard that way, come on!
THROTTLE: Vinnie is a course hazard, bro!
VINNIE: Not to mention one of your major scenic attractions!
LIMBURGER: Calm yourself, my sloppy secondary. I'm not angry with you.
GREASEPIT: Duh, you ain't?
LIMBURGER: Oh, my, noooo. I am, however, intensely infuriated at your incredibly idiotic incompetence!
GREASEPIT: Well, just as long as ya ain't mad.
LIMBURGER: Ahhh, Cheesyland. A dairy-tale kingdom of my very own.
VINNIE: Imminent annihilation! I live for moments like this!
MODO: Me, I prefer just to live.
VINNIE: Oh, you think that's something? That lava's backin' up like a patio dinner at Cinco de Mayo!
| "UPWARDLY MOBILE" |
CHARLEY: What are we doing way out here?
MODO: Lookin' for a rumble, Charley-girl!
THROTTLE: Gonna find just whose fault this is!
CHARLEY: These puns are startin' to make me quake.
VINNIE: Sorry, sweetheart, but this game ain't coed in my book!
MODO: Yeah, time for the big boys to play!
CHARLEY: Oh yeah?! Well, lemme know if you see any!
KARBUNKLE: (to Limburger) Just a few hundreds more pounds of pressure, your bloated belligerence, and you'll be sitting pretty. (under his breath) If that's possible.
| "MOTORCROSS TRAP" |
LIMBURGER: (to Greasepit) My corpulent carven, have you never heard of "voting the graveyard?" It's an old but unfortunately extinct Chicago tradition.
KARBUNKLE: (on the Loogey Brothers) Are you sure, your cultured creaminess? Surely you remember the trouble we had with that rotten pair last time!
LIMBURGER: I do indeed. The carpet is still redolent with the rueful reminiscence of their ripeness.
VINNIE: Hey! I already AM undisputed Motorcross Champ of the Galaxy! Who put my title up for grabs, anyway?
THROTTLE: Hey, chill, bro. It's all a Limburger trap for us, anyway.
MODO: Yeah. After all, who else but us would enter a motorcross race with nothin' but chilli dogs as a prize?
VINNIE: AHHHAAAAAAAAAHAAAAH! Erect a statue! Secure a hall of fame! Give me a girl to kiss!
MODO: He won.
THROTTLE: Yeah. Oh well. At least we know what the main topic of conversation is gonna be for the next six months.
| "UNFORGIVEN CHEESE" |
THROTTLE: Charley-girl!
VINNIE: How'd you get here?
CHARLEY: The usual. Followed the trail of wreckage.
KARBUNKLE: And won't the Plutarkian High Chairman enjoy all that lovely natural gas?
LIMBURGER: As if he doesn't have enough of his own.
LIMBURGER: What in the name of all little fishes…?
MODO: Oh Momma! What're they doin' to your son?
MODO: (watching a battleship fly overhead, en route to crashing into Limburger Tower) Love to see how the Navy explains this expense!
| BLEU CHEESE BROS |
CHARLEY: Well, y'know, Julian Prison has announced that they're looking for more prison guards.
VINNIE: Moi? In a prison guard uniform? Sweetheart, drab is not my color!
CHARLEY: Not you! I meant me!
VINNIE: You? A prison guard? Cute! Lock me up and throw away the key!
CHARLEY: I know I've been tempted at times...
THROTTLE: No, no, I don't think so. It's too dangerous, Charley. We'll handle it.
CHARLEY: (excited) What? Locking up Vinnie?
THROTTLE: It's risky...
VINNIE: …difficult…
MODO: …and dangerous.
VINNIE: Sounds like life as I love it!
MODO: A perfect way to spend the afternoon!
THROTTLE: Hmm. It appears to be unani-mouse!
MODO: Ah hope we didn't overdo it.
VINNIE: Too much is never enough! Personally, I think we were very restrained!
THROTTLE AND MODO: RESTRAINED?!
VINNIE: Hey, hey! The place is still upright, isn't it?
LIMBURGER: (On the destruction of his Tower) Oh, I'll never get these rugs clean!
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