watashi no itoko (my cousins)

this is my family's grave. each year around this time, the surviving members of the “mimatsu” (means serpent in the pine tree) family gather together to pay their respects to the dead. the ceremony is simple; you wash the grave, you light incense, and give offerings of food, sake, and flowers. in this case, one of my cousins read the sutras. it is a moment of intimate connection with my family, and honestly i was shocked by how seriously they take their religion. one of my cousins (taizo) spoke of taking a trip to a temple on his next holiday. “why?” i asked. his answer was simple: “to pray.” how attracted i am to such self assured faith!

this is my cousin taizo, whom we call taichan ("chan" is a diminuitive suffix). he drives a monsterously huge dodge truck that was imported from the u.s. with which he barrels down little streets with an impressive, matterr-of-fact skill. he jokingly calls himself “the american dreamer dreamer", saying that just one “dreamer” is not enough, because he has twice the dreams. Even though the youngest of the three boys, a year older than me, he has a maturity of self assurance and self knowledge that is very comforting. of all my cousins, i think that he is the most well balanced, clear in knowing what makes himself happy, and not afraid to pursue it. he's usually really quiet and reserved, but every once in a while, he’ll bust out with something so off the wall and hilarious.

yuchan (or yuji as his proper name) has always been the most thoughtful, the kindest, and the most empathic. he also has the best fashion sense. being that way, i think he must have had the hardest time growing up, butting heads many times with my rather traditional uncle. and now, i can tell that the "japanese dream" of being a salary man is not something that is going to make him happy. he told me that his ultimate goal in life was to uplift himself as a human, to raise his humanity (no good englsh translation available, sorry). i think he, too, has realized the japanese dream will not make him happy, but what else is there for him to pursue?

kenchan (kenji) or niichan as we call him ("brother") is the oldest of the three boys (on my left in the photo). he seems to have settled nicely into the salary man niche, and is every bit the eldest son, taking on the responsibility and expectations associated with that position smoothly and gracefully.

it's hard to think of them now as adult men, when i remember so clearly how we used to play and goof around when we were little. i was able to indulge my tomboyness with them, and i think it is because of that that i’m not such a girl now. i hope that they remember those times with as much fondness as i do. i think it amuses them that we still call them by their diminuitive names. but they really are like brothers to me, and i hope that our relationship will grow and change with the years.

more pictures:

dressed in their finest. such gentlemen!

my cousin still finds it in him to goof around.

the buddhist scholar in the family reading the sutras.

big family photo: from left: yoko (my other aunt), eichi (my uncle), sumiko (my aunt), tomoko (my mom), hiroko (mom's cousin), kenji (cousin #1), akio (mom's cousin), taizo (cousin #3), yuji (cousin #2)

when interrogated, all my cousins said that they spent their spare time sleeping. i thought they were joking, until, within an hour of returning to my aunt’s house, my two eldest cousins promptly fell asleep.