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General Jokes - 2 1. Encounter A man went up to the only other person in the bar and asked him if he could buy him a drink. "Why, of course," comes the reply. The first man asked: "Where are you from?" Curious enough, the first man then asked - "Where in Ireland are you
from?" Curiosity again rose and the first man asked - "What school did
you go to?" About that time one regular customer came in and asked the bartender - "What's been going on?" "Nothing much," replied the bartender. "The O'Malley twins are drunk again." 2. Final Exam One night Jack Evans, along with his three university friends went out drinking till late night, as many college students are prone to do, and didn't study for their test, which, of course, was scheduled for the next day. In the morning they thought of a plan. They made themselves look as dirty and weird as they could with grease and dirt. They went up to the dean and explained that they had gone out to a wedding last night and on their return the tire of their car burst. They continued to explain how they had to push the car all the way back and that they were in no condition to appear for the test. The dean, being a compassionate human being said that they could take the test after 3 days. The students graciously replied that they'd be ready by that time. On the third day, they appeared before the dean. The dean explained that since this was a special test, all four were required to sit in separate classrooms for the duration of the exam. They all agreed as they had prepared well in the last three days. The test consisted of 5 questions with total of 100 points: MID SEMESTER COURSEWORK EXAMINATION INSTRUCTIONS : Q.1. Write down your name. ----- (2 POINTS) 3. What I am going to be....? An older couple had a son who was still living with them. The parents were a little worried, as the son has no career plans and he was getting old, so they decided to do a small test. They took a $10 bill, a Bible and a bottle of whiskey, and put them on the front hall table. Then they hid, pretending they were not at home. The test was this: If the son took the money, he would be a businessman, if he took the Bible, he would be a priest, but if he took the bottle of whiskey, he would be a drunk. So the parents hid in the nearby closet and waited nervously. Peeping through the keyhole, they saw their son arrive and read the note they had left him. He took the $10 bill, looked at it against the light, and slid it in his pocket. After that, he took the Bible, flicked through it, and took it. Finally he grabbed the bottle, opened it, and took an appreciative whiff to check the quality. Then he left for his room, carrying all three items. The father slapped his forehead and said, "Darn, it's even worse than I could ever have imagined. Our son is going to be a politician!" 4. Who are You Talking to? A man joined a big Multi National Company as a trainee..... The voice from the other side responded - "You fool; you've dialed the
wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to?" "No" replied the
trainee. "It's the Managing Director of the company, you idiot!" 5. My Dog Told Me Two women that were dog owners were arguing about their dogs as whose
dog is smarter than the other one. 6. Your Birthday Matters
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Created by Sushma Gupta on May 27, 2001
sushmajee@yahoo.com
Modified on
09/03/08