Are you all sitting comfortably, children? Good! Then it's time to play- what's wrong with this picture?

Look hard.
Look especially hard at the creature in the big circle.
That's right.
That's not a mouse.
It's a ferret.

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

This is the packaging from a plastic toy mouse I bought at Clint's Crazy Bargains, a store which specialises in cheap, polyurathane crap. And the toy mouse fits the bill. It's cheap. It's polyurathane. It's crap. And it has the stupidest packaging ever.
You thought the ferret was bad. Wait. It gets worse.

Apart from the fact that the creators can't tell the difference between a mouse and a ferret (never a good sign in a creator of supposed museum pieces), let's take a look at the toy mouse itself to find out why it's nowhere near 'museum quality'.

1) If this is a mouse, it's the evil mutated Godzilla of mice (except without the fire breathing and cheesy special effects). It measures a whopping 46cm from head to tail (that's 1 foot, 6 inches for you American folks). Compare that to the normal 10cm size of a normal mouse. Not measuring up very well, is it?

2) Just take a look at it's glowing red eyes.

I mean, I've heard of albinos, but this is ridiculous. No, this mouse is clearly possessed by some sort of demon. And the last thing a museum needs is it's models speaking in tongues and signing patron's souls over to Satan. If satanic messages start appearing on this site, you'll know the mouse has got to me. !sdlrow fo reruoved ,tsaeb taerg eht liah llA Anyway, where was I... oh yes, the mouse.

3) When squeezed, the mouse emits a squeaking noise. Since museum pieces just sit behind glass and are never touched, these bozos have wasted time creating a totally useless feature. Suckers!

4) Finally, the most important feature- the material the mouse is made of. Really, really cheap plastic. (Cheap smelly plastic at that. If you get too close, the fumes will knock you out within five seconds). All mice I've seen in museums are made out of... well... mouse. If you think that's inhumane, it's better than a plague of demonically possessed ferret/mice taking over museums- and then, the world! The world, I say!

That's right. Dr Pepper. Beloved carbonated sugar water of the masses. Caffinator of the sleep-deprived. Hyperactivator of small children world wide.
Manufactured by really stupid people.
Don't get me wrong. I don't have a problem with the taste of the stuff. It's basically just cherry cola. I don't have a problem with the packaging, or the colour scheme, or the fact that if, in nature, a fluid was that colour, you'd never, never give it access to your digestive tract. In fact, I only have two problems with Dr Pepper-
1) Dr.
2) Pepper.
Let's begin with number 1.
Think of a doctor's office. Think of dying pot plants, hard plastic chairs, and 1984 issues of Better Homes and Gardens. Think of disinfectant. Ice cold stethescopes. Robes that don't cover your butt. Influenza. Weeping sores. Skin irritations. Pus. Boils. Genital herpes.
Soft drink.

So, when you think about it, the 'Dr.' part wasn't such a good idea. But what about the 'Pepper' part? Well, do you like the taste of black pepper with your soft drink? Didn't think so.
Wondering who the hell came up with such a stupid name for a drink, I went to the  Dr. Pepper website . There, I found out that the name 'Dr. Pepper' was pure marketing genius compared to some of the slogans they've used over the years. For example-

At first glance, this seems to be a simple, non-confusing packet of chilli sauce.

That is, until you see this.

Serving suggestion = cartoon chilli. Serving suggestion = cartoon chilli. You may as well paint your naked body with chocolate pudding, wear pink slippers and a diving cap, and dance naked at an intersection screaming "All the puppies are electric!" and you'd still make just as much sense as this label does. Serving suggestion... equals... cartoon chilli. Serving chilli... cartoon suggestion... Cartoon serving... chilli suggestion... wait a sec... serving cartoon... suggestion chilli... no... hang on...

My brain hurts... I need to lie down for a while...

The following poster for the band 'Sack Trick' was sent to me by  kimwei . While not an inventive disaster as such, it fits into the category of things that make you go 'what the...?'

Be sure to note the inclusion of 'the world's first Harmonised Water Gargling Trio'.

Everyone has fantasies. Deep, dark, sordid fantasies.  The parts of our innermost psyches that we tend to keep secret.
Unfortunately for the world at large, someone didn't exercise their right to inner privacy.

Yup. Glowing plastic lizards. Kinky, no?
Apparently, 'Glowing Fantasies' come in four varieties- Sea Life , Universe,  Rainforest, and the above set,Wild Safari, illustrated with a picture of a deer...

...which is strange, because there aren't any 'Glowing Fantasy Deer' anywhere in this set.  Somewhere along the line, the packaging designer must have thought- "Oh no. I can't draw lizards. Let's see, what's the closest thing to a lizard... I know! A deer! A gigantic, hairy, brawny, antler-ed deer! It's so close to a small, scaly, hairless, long tailed reptile, that no one will ever be able to tell the difference!"

It gets even worse when you flip the box over, and read-

I'm not completely sure what 'It' is, but, sure enough, my Creative Mind is currently screaming "Run! Whatever you are, get the hell away as fast as you can! RUN!"

The packaging continues-

What if my 'Glowing Fantasies' involve correct grammar? What then? Huh? Huh? What then, smarty?

The fun can be unlimited! If you never get tired of seeing small, glowing plastic lizards stuck 'on wall', that is.
Another "interesting" feature is their "creative" use of "apostropes". Why are small parts "small parts"?  And how does a child achieve 36 months of specifications? Is there a course they can take? I never realised that playing with a simple toy involved a three year degree! Children out there are playing with toys they are completely unqualified for! I demand a nationwide investigation!