+ Death is life's way of telling you you're fired.

+ If everything is coming your way, then you're in the wrong lane.

+ Do not believe in miracles - rely on them.

+ The world is coming to an end. Please log off.

+ Nothing is illegal until you get caught.

+ No matter where you go; you're there.

+ Your lucky color has faded.

+ If it doesn't fit, force it; if it breaks, it needed replacement anyway.

+ Horn Broke. Watch For Finger!

+ If it weren't for people like you, nobody else would have an above average IQ.

+ Too many freaks, not enough circus's!

+ Some people are only alive because it's illegal to kill.

+ I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it!

+ I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

+ No Radio - Already Stolen!

+ I may be fat, but you're ugly - I can lose weight!.

+ All generalizations are false.

+ If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.

+ The more I learn, the less I understand.

+ Have you ever had deja vu? Have you ever had deja vu?

+ I was an atheist until I realized I was GOD.

+ Hang up and drive!

+ DARE to keep cops off doughnuts.

+ Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you!

+ Save the planet recycle an environmentalist.

+ If you can read this you're in range.

+ Your child may be an honor student, but you're still an idiot.

+ I don't drive fast I fly low.

+ (Front Bumper) If you can read this, I didn't hit you hard enough.

+ Hey idiot- You're driving a car, not a phone booth

+ When there's a will I want to be in it!

+ If something goes without saying - LET IT!

+ I've been dieting for the past month, but all I lost was 31 days!!