Press Nunkies to return to Chapter One

Fantasy #62: 'The Battery Tester' - What with all that talk lately on list about Nunkies having batteries inside that keep him going...and going...and're determined to prove the rumour true or false! You'll just have to lick Nunkies until you feel a shock down to your toes...

Fantasy #63: Southern-Fried Nunkies - In another attempt to share your culinary talents, LaCroix agrees to let you coat his body in egg white then roll him in corn meal (pepper optional). Now that he's ready, you're faced with the delimma: Should you start with a breast or thigh? Either way, it's finger lickin' good!

Fantasy #64: : 'Mile High Nunkies' - Oh, wait...this is a PG-13 kinda page....:D~~~~

Fantasy #65: 'Bureaucrat Nunkies' - In honor of your job for the State government, Lacroix is tangled in a web of red tape. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to unstick him, paying special care to the more 'sensitive' areas. Once Nunkies is free, of course, you are required to personally see to his physical welfare.

Fantasy #66: "But It's Not Oatmeal!" - In the wee part of night before dawn, Lacroix comes for breakfast in bed, wearing his grey silk bathrobe from 'Father Figure.' Your breakfast, not his. He spoon feeds you your Cheerios, then you intertwine arms as you toast from crystal goblets. Yours contains orange juice, his...well, you know. The meal is so diverting, the sun rises before Nunkies can leave.

"Looks like I'll have to spend the day," he murmurs as he discards the robe and joins you undercover.

Fantasy #67: Nunkies has invested in a plantation again - this one specializes in coconut oil. A sample shipment arrives, and Lacroix wants test the quality by giving you an all-over body massage. "Mmm...tastes like pina colada..."

Fantasy #68: The Pool Boy's Work Is Never Done - Your dreams have come true. You've won the lottery, and with your winnings you bought a mansion, complete with tennis courts and an Olympic-sized swimming pool. To top it all off, the house came with a whole staff of servants.

On the night you move in, you decide to take a dip in the pool. It's a completely quiet, warm night: the crickets are chirping and the stars shine brightly overhead. As the pool is so secluded, you think, Who needs a suit? You wriggle out of yours and toss it on the deck.

You're doing some leisurely laps when you see a dark shape walking on the deck. It's Nunkies! You tread water and gaze up at him, silhouetted against the dark sky. "Lucien! What are you doing here?"

Nunkies smiles down at you, kicking your suit out of his way. "I work here," he tells you, his silky voice causing goosebumps to erupt on your exposed flesh.

"You work for ME?" You can't believe it. "Doing what?"

He smiles even more and begins unbuttoning his black silk shirt. "Why, as the pool boy, of course."

As Nunkies strips, apparently intent upon copying your fashion statement, you grin wickedly. "Well then, since you're the pool boy, I think your first job should be checking out the temperature of the water," you suggest.

Nunkies arches an eyebrow. "I couldn't agree more." He executes a perfect dive, then resurfaces. "Hmm," he says concernedly, "A little chilly, I think."

"Really?" you say, paddling over to him. "It seems a bit warm to me..."

Fantasy #69: Lucien Lacroix: General of Your Heart - It's Wednesday evening, just after sunset. You switch off your computer, feeling very depressed. You've just read the 125th post about CCC and who got to do what with a certain actor. The vision of a diabetic who is chained in front of a gourmet bakery's window (i.e., you) flits through your mind. Sigh.

Suddenly, the single chime of the doorbell distracts your thoughts. Who on earth, you wonder, would be showing up at your door at this time of day in the middle of the week??? You don't bother to use the peep hole because, quite frankly, you just don't care anymore. As you pull the door towards you and look up, you see...HIM, leaning against the jamb and holding a single, long-stemmed white rose.

"N..Nunkies," you barely manage to stammer.

"Bon soir, my child," he says as he runs the petals of the rose down one of your cheeks, then hands you the stem.

"What are you doing here??" you ask as your mind screams Idiot! Who cares?!

In the blink of an eye, he has enetered your home and you hear the gentle 'click' as the front door closes behind him. He reaches out a hand to caress your face.

"Because," he says in a hoarse whisper, "I care about *all* my children."

You hear a sound - surely that's the kind of alarm usually reserved for nuclear power plants. Funny - you don't remember having one installed...

Coming - temporarily - to your senses, you turn and survey your surroundings. Dejected even more at having Nunkies see a less than elegant view of your home, you sit on the sofa, feeling ready to cry. What passes for a whirlwind whips through your house. Suddenly, everything is in its place.

"Nunkies!" you exclaim. "How did you know what to do???!"

"Well, for starters," he says, leaning over the back of the couch and whispering into one ear, "I *always* watch over my children. I know *everything* about you."

"And?" you ask, hoping there's more. There is.

"And the right man for you always knows the right place to put *everything.*"

A meltdown of major proportions sets in as he walks about the house making sure every door is locked, every window fastened, and every phone unplugged. Not for the first time this evening, you ask a silly question.

"Um, is this where you ask me what I'd like you to do for me?"

He chuckles in the way that only *HE* can.

"Oh, no, my dear," he begins, his voice growing even huskier with every word. "I'm not one of your late 20th century 'wusses.' *I'm* in charge here. You will do exactly as *I* wish. You will give yourself to me until *I've* had enough," he continues as he raises your hand to his lips, then moves to your mouth and winds his free arm about your waist, pulling you close. As you come up for air, he tells you, "If we start now, I *may* be able to 'free' you in a few days. On the other hand, perhaps this would be a good time to take that two week holiday..."

Fantasy #70: You get to wiggle with Lacroix inside the same hula hoop.

Fantasy #71: 'Nunkies Ole' - You get to make passes at Lacroix while he's wearing nothing but a matador hat and swishing a red cape. Of course, since you're not a bull, your chances of catching him go up tremendously!

Fantasy #72:'Nunkies Sushi' - Lacroix is coated in rice and wrapped in nori leaves, and you get to clean him off with a pair of chopsticks.

Fantasy #73: 'Fiesta Nunkies' - Nunkies is covered in salsa con queso and you're armed with nothing but a bag of tortilla chips. They're going to run out before you can clean him off completely, so you'll have to think of more *creative* ways of getting that cheese dip off of him. You should probably save the tender parts for last.

Fantasy #74: 'I Dream Of Nunkies' - You are carefully polishing a brass statue you recently discovered at a flea market. It is a sculpture of an ancient athlete, Roman or Greek you can't decide. You lovingly clean each corner, paying special attention to the well-formed muscles on the tiny wonder.

As your cloth rubs across the javelin wielded by the figure, something strange happens: smoke seems to be whispering out the hollow end. Within second a being materializes. As the shape solidifies, you are astonished to realize that it is Nunkies wearing nothing but a fig leaf and a smile, and carrying a javelin! Lewdly your eyes roam him head to toe, growing wilder by the second. Drool pools around the corners of your lips and you don't know whether to faint or jump him!

Of course, eventually you compose yourself and ask the only appropriate question: "Now how about my three wishes?"

Fantasy #75: 'Santa Nunkies' - Nunkies drops down your chimney wearing nothing but a pointy red hat and jingle bells, offering to "stuff your stocking"...

Let me return to the NA Homepage.