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Elaine:
"It's not fair that people are seated
first-come, first-serve. It should be based on
who's hungriest. I feel like just walking over
there and taking some food off somebody's plate.
Jerry: "I'll tell you what,
there's fifty bucks in it for you if you do it.
Elaine: What do you mean?
Jerry: You walk over to that
table, you pick up an eggroll, you don't say
anything. You eat it, say thank you very much,
wipe your mouth, walk away, I give you fifty
bucks.
George: What are they gonna do?
Jerry: They won't do anything.
In fact, you'll be giving them a story to tell
for the rest of their lives.
Elaine: Fifty bucks? You'll give
me fifty bucks?
Jerry: Fifty bucks. That table
over there. The three couples.
Elaine: Okay, I don't want to go
over there and do it and then come back here and
find out there was some little loophole, like I
didn't put mustard on it.
Jerry: No, no tricks.
Elaine: Should I do it George?
George: For fifty bucks? I'd put
my face in their soup and blow!
Elaine: Alright, alright. Here,
hold this. I'm doin' it.In "The
Chinese Restaurant"
Jerry:
Boy, do you smell something?
Elaine: Do I smell something?
What am I, hard of smelling? Of *course* I smell
something!
Jerry: What is it?
Elaine: I think it's B.O.!
Jerry: What?
Elaine: It's B.O. The valet must
have had B.O.
Jerry: It can't be. Nobody has
B.O. like this.
Elaine: Jerry. It's B.O.
Jerry: But the whole car smells.
Elaine: So?
Jerry: So when somebody has
B.O., the "O" usually stays with the
"B". Once the "B" leaves, the
"O" goes with it!
In "The
Smelly Car"
Doctor:
I just wanted to stop by to see if you had any
questions about tomorrow's operation.
Kramer: Yeah, I have a question.
What do you know about inter-abdominal
retractors?
Doctor: Are you asking because
you saw "20/20" last night?
Kramer: I sure am.
Doctor: Well, that report was
about one very specific type of retractor and I
can assure you we do not use that kind of
retractor in your friend's procedure.
Kramer: But you will use a
retractor.
Doctor: We have to...
Kramer: Mmm...
Doctor: Tell you what. You're
obviously concerned about your friend's welfare.
A few of my students will be observing tomorrow's
operation from the viewing gallery. How would you
like to watch it with them?
Kramer: I'd love to watch the
operation, yeah!
Jerry: I dunno...
Kramer: Oh, come on Jerry. You
gotta see the operation. They're gonna cut him
open. His guts'll be all over the place...
Jerry: Yeah, that's true...
Kramer: They'll saw through
bone! You'll see what's inside bone...!
In "The
Junior Mint"
Kramer:
Having the keys to Jerry's apartment - that kept
me in a fantasy world. Every time I went over to
his house it was like a vacation: better food,
better view, better TV, cleaner, oh, much
cleaner. That became my reality. I ignored the
squalor in my own life because I'm looking at
life, you see, through Jerry's eyes. I was living
in the twilight, living in the shadows, living in
the darkness... like you.
George: Me?!
Kramer: Oh, I can barely see
you, George.
George: Stop it, Kramer. You're
freakin' me out.
In "The
Keys"
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