Sideshow Bob Starring in the Simpsons

The Brother From Another Series (#4F14)

The Summary:

Sideshow Bob is recommended for release on a special work-project that is building a new dam in Springfield. As it turns out, the head of the project is Cecil, Bob's younger brother. Bob spends the episode warding off Bart Simpson's constant attempts to catch him doing something evil. Eventually, he discovers that Cecil is plotting to frame him for creating a faulty dam, and wants to kill him in the process. All because Cecil is jealous of Bob for getting the job as Krusty's sidekick years ago.

The Cast:

STARRING: Sideshow Bob, Bart and Lisa Simpson.
ALSO: Homer and Marge Simpson, Rev. Lovejoy.
CAMEOS: Krusty the Klown, Mrs. Krabapel, Chief Wiggum, Lou, Eddie, Cletus the slack-jawed Yokel, cousin Merle.
GUEST STARRING: Cecil Terwilliger.

The Show:

The scene opens with the Simpsons watching television. A narrator on their TV says, "Live from Springfield Penetentiary's fabulous Big Open Area in Cell Block D, it's the Krusty the Klown Prison Special!"
Krusty starts singing a song, "I plugged some jerk in Tahoe, they gave me one to three. My high-priced lawyer sprung me on a technicality. I'm just visiting Springfield Prison, I get to sleep at home tonight!"
A bunch of prisoners start to grumble at the last line, and Krusty rescues himself, "Hey, hey I kid. I kid 'cause I love. I tell ya, the best folk in the world are prison folk!"
"Man, those cons love Krusty! Inside every hardened criminal beats the heart of a ten-year-old boy." Bart comments.
"And vice-versa." Lisa adds.
Marge is concerned, and says, "Just remember Bart, convicts aren't cool. They're bad people."
"Eeh, maybe so, but they get the job done."
In the prison, Krusty is starting to mingle with the criminals, telling jokes, when he runs into Bob. "Hey hey! It's my old TV sidekick Sideshow Bob! Why, I haven't seen you in years! what have you been doing with yourself, Bob?"
"Well, Krusty," Sideshow Bob begins, "as you may remember after I tried to frame you for armed robbery, I tried to murder Selma Bouvier. Let's see, I rigged the mayoral elections, I tried to blow up Springfield with a nuclear device, and I tried to kill you."
"Oh yeah, yeah."
"And whenever I could find a spare moment, I tried to kill Bart Simpson."
Bart screams, and runs out of the living room. Homer shouts after him, "He said tried!"
Marge suggests that someone should go talk to Bart. Lisa finally gets up and goes, and Homer sighs with relief - until Marge makes him follow.

In Bart's bedroom, the family tries to console him. Well, Marge does anyway. Homer just causes trouble.
MARGE: "Oh, you have nothing to worry about, honey."
HOMER: "Your mother's right Bart. Sure you're the one who ruined all of Sideshow Bob's criminal schemes...
MARGE: "We're very proud, by the way."
HOMER: "And sure, he's probably so insane with rage, he'd butcher you horribly if he could."
MARGE: "But he's safely locked away."
HOMER: "In a minimum security prison."
MARGE: "For life."
HOMER: "Unless he gets out sometime."
MARGE: "Which is impossible."
HOMER: "Or so you'd think, except he's done it so many times before!"
Now Bart tells his parents, "Thanks for trying guys, but Sideshow Bob wants me dead, and Sideshow Bob is an unstoppable killing machine."

Cut to the chapel at Springfield's Minimum Security Prison, where we find Sideshow Bob performing "Amazing Grace". Reverend Lovejoy praises him, and tells the other inmates that they could learn from Bob's "shining example."
Bob Responds, "Oh really, Reverend, your praise is going to get me beaten up!"
"Sorry Bob," replies Lovejoy, "but your transformation has been truly amazing."
"Yes, I'm a good, good man."

Reverend Lovejoy and Bob are walking through a prison hallway, when Lovejoy tells Bob that he is been recommending the former villain for the work release program.
"Me? I'm touched, I really am, but you'll never find anyone willing to hire a five-time loser like me."
Reverend Lovejoy says, "I already have." and gestures into a room.
It's the visitor's area, and Sideshow Bob finds his long-lost brother, Cecil in there, "Cecil, is it really you?"
CECIL: "Hello, brother, I'm happy to see you!"
BOB: "But it's been ten years. We haven't spoken since the...unpleasantness.
CECIL: "You mean Arthur Fielder's wake?"
BOB: "No, no, no - I mean our falling out."that. That's ancient history. Let's make a fresh start. Come work for me."
BOB: "But this is wonderful! You do know I used to have a...problem with trying to kill people?"
CECIL: "Goodness, I had no idea! For you see I have been on Mars for the last decade. In a cave, with my eyes shut and my fingers in my ears."
BOB: "Touche, Cecil."
CECIL: "I'm aware of your thelonius past, but you're still my brother, and blood is thicker than bread and water."
BOB: "You don't have to worry about me, brother, I'm all murdered out."
REV.LOVEJOY: "Praise the Lord!"

A newspaper appears with the headline: "Maniac to live at Brother's Apartment"

Now we find Sideshow Bob leaving prison; an angry mob is protesting, with picket signs saying: "Ban the Bob" and "You're making a mistakes"
Bart shouts, "He's just faking it to get out of jail! He's a maniac!"
Mayor Quimby replies, "Bob is not a maniac. He's explained his reasons for trying to kill us all, and I assure you, they were perfectly sane."
Now Sideshow Bob makes his plea, "My friends, please I make no secret of my past, but isn't our system of justice based on the idea that a man can change?"
Chief Wiggum says, "I'll have the boys check into that."
Bob continues, "I know I don't deserve another chance, but this is America, and as an American, aren't I entitled to one?"
"Probably!"
"Can't you find it in your hearts just to let me live and work in peace?"
Everyone in the crowd cheers as Sideshow Bob exits in a car with Cecil.
Bart asks the mayor and Lovejoy, "Don't you see what you've done? Sideshow Bob hasn't reformed. He's pure evil! Oh, if only you knew what he was thinking!"

Cut to the back seat of the car, where Bob is thinking, "I hope they still make that shampoo I like." The car drives past a billboard that says, "Springfield: Proude home of Sideshow Bob."

The second act opens with a title, just like an episode of Fraisier: ""Fraisier" is a hit show on the NBC Television Network."
We're in Cecil's apartment, and he offers Bob a choice of wines.
"I've been in prison, Cecil. I'll be happy just as long as it doesn't taste like orange drink fermented under a radiator." Surprisingly, Cecil is able to rule out one of the wines based on that comment.

In the Simpsons' house, we fine Bart praying to God, and he asks Him to kill Sideshow Bob.
Marge cries, "Bart, no!" and pries his hands apart.
"It's him or me, oh Lord!" Bart finishes.
"You can't ask God to kil someone!" Marge tells Bart.
Homer joins in with, "Yeah, you do your own dirty work."

Back at Cecil's apartment, Sideshow Bob and Cecil are finishing dinner. Bob says, "Well, I suppose I should ask you what you do, if I'm going to be working with you."
"For me, Bob, for me," Cecil responds, "well, I am Springfield's Chief hydrological and hydrodynamical engineer!"
"Oh, hydrological and hydrodynamical? Talk about running the gamut."
"Snigger all you like, Bob." Cecil says.
"Thank you, I believe I shall!"
Cecil adds, "But you'll find that one gets more respect as a humble civil servant than as a homicidal maniac. Or a clown's sidekick."
"Aaa-ha! I knew it! You're still angry that Krusty picked me over you!"
"I can't imagine what you mean."
Bob says, "Oh come, now. You wanted to be Krusty's sidekick since you were five! What abou the buffoon lessons? The four years at clown college?"
"I'll thank you not to refer to Princeton that way."
"The point is, you obviously still blame me for what happened at your audition." As Sideshow Bob makes this comment, we flash-back to Cecil's audition on the Krusty the Klown set.

Cecil is backstage with Bob, "Thanks for driving me, big brother. These giant clown mitts are extremely hilarious, but they do make it difficult to shift gears."
"That's the title to Erma Bombeck's latest, isn't it?" asks Bob.
Cecil goes on stage, where Krusty and some others are monitoring the auditions. The audition doesn't go well, but Cecil insists on doing a pie in the face gag. Krusty tells him that the pie gag is only funny "if the sap's got dignity". He singles out Bob as just such a sap, and says, "hey, Hal - pie job for Lord Auttumnbottom over there." Bob gets hit by the pie, his hat falls off, and his hair (still huge and purple) pops out.
"Oh dear." is all Bob can think of to say, but Krusty is impressed.
"That guy's a genius! He's gonna change the way we think about getting hit by pies."

We are brought back to the present, and Cecil's apartment. Cecil tells us that he saw his dreams destroyed by that pie. "I suppose I should thank you, it led me to my true calling."
Bob replies, "Cecil, no civilization in history has ever considered Chief Hydrological Engineer a 'calling'."
Cecil glares at Bob, and clears his throat.
"Yes, yes, the Cappadocians, fine."

At the construction site, Cecil points out where they are going to build a dam.
Bob says, "Just the thought of all that raw, surging power makes me wonder why the hell I should care."
Cecil responds, "Because, you'll be supervising the construction crew." "Oh great, whenever a woman walks by, I suppose it will be my job to lead the hooting: "Oh yeah! Shake it madam! Capital knockers!""
Cecil reminds Bob that this is the older brother's chance to get respect from Springfield.

Bart and Millhouse are watching the scene from some bushes across the gorge. Bart tells Millhouse, "He's planning something evil, I know it! It must have something to do with the town's water supply."
Millhouse says, "Maybe he's going to pee in the river!"

Bob has spotted them, and he says, "Who is that? W-why it's Bart Simpson! HELLO BART!" Bart hides, and Bob tells Cecil, "He's just a little shy because I've tried to kill him so many times."
"Ah."

In a swanky restaraunt called "The Pimento Grove", Sideshow Bob is entertaining Mrs. Krabappel, "I really must thank you for this moment of tranquility Edna. You know I haven't been on a date in six years."
Edna tells him how exciting it is to be dating a killer.
"To be fair, I never sucessfully killed anyone." Bob tells her, Bart can be seen spying on them from another table. when the waiter comes by, Bart orders a glass of their "finest milk".
Bob tells Krabappel, "I did once try to kill the world's greatest lover, but then I realized there are lawas against suicide." She giggles, and he adds, "You get my drift."
Bart interrupts, "Mrs. Krabappel, no! That's Sideshow Bob!"
"Well, that's the last time I announce my dinner plans in class!" Mrs. Krabappel says before leaving.
Now Bob is angry. Glaring at Bart he says, "That was Edna Krabappel. You only get one chance with Edna Krabappel. I hope you're happy."
Bart responds: "I won't be happy until I find out what you're up to. Wherever you go and whatever you do, I'll be there watching and waiting!"
Chief Wiggum is sitting in the booth next to Bob's, and comments, "He says that, but I'll bet he gives up pretty quick."

At the construction site for the dam, Cecil is paying Bob a visit. "Hello, brother. All's well I trust?"
"It most certainly is not!" Sideshow Bob replies, "The workmen you've given me don't know their asses from the hole in the ground they accidentally blew yesterday."
Cecil replies, "Come now, you speak as if they were a gaggle of slack-jawed yokels." Just then, Cletus enters. "Mr. Terwilliger, come quick! There's trouble down to the cement mixer, sir!"

Down by the cement mixer, Cletus explains the problem to Bob, "See cousin Merle and me was playin' fetch with Geech - that's our old smellhound, and..."
Now we see Merle with a dog-shaped pile of cement, "Geech gone to heaven, Mr. Terwilliger." "Oh cousin Merle, really!" Bob starts to scold. "Temper Temper," Cecil interrupts, "You know cousin Merle ain't been quite right, lately."
Sideshow Bob turns to his brother, "I'm telling you Cecil, I can't take much more of this. Rustic workmen have turned the sani-john into a smoke house," we see a bunch of meat being cured in the toilet, "Coveralls that don't quite 'cover all'," Geech' butt is showing, "and a psychotic little boy who will not stop hounding me - this little boy right here!" He spins a pipe around, and we see Bart inside, glaring at him, "Sometimes I wish this dam would burst, and bury this cursed town."

That evening, Bart tricks Lisa into helping him expose Sideshow Bob by promising totake her to Dairy Queen. When she finds out that he plans to rummage through Bob's trash, she wants to leave, but Bart promises to take her to the Water Slide.
As they search through the trash, Bob comes up from behind them, "You again?!? Well that's it. I'm going to do something I should have a long time ago!"

Back at the Simpson house, there is a knock at the door, and Marge answers. Sideshow Bob is outside, and he tells her, "Madam, your children are no more!...than a pair of ill-bred troublemakers."
Homer shows up and asks, "Lisa too?"
"Especially Lisa! But especially Bart. If he crosses me one more time, just once more, well, I can't be held responsible for my actions."
After Bob leaves, Homer tells the kids that he hopes that Bob fed them, because Homer has eaten both of their dinners.
Lisa tries to convince Bart that Sideshow Bob has changed, but Bart disagrees, and he think she knows where to find the evidence.
"At the construction site?" asks Lisa.
"That's even better! Let's go there!" says Bart.
Lisa wonders, "What were you thinking?"
"The haunted house."

At the construction site, Bart and Lisa have gotten into Bob's trailer, where Bart finds a briefcase full of money. The siblings discuss it for a minute, when suddenly Sideshow Bob shows up at the door.
Bob gets inside the office, and says, "Who left the lights on? Who's in here? Cletus? Cousin Merle? Big hungry Joe?" He spots some eyes in the water cooler, which belong to Bart. He and Lisa make a run for it, and Bob shouts, "You two!"
The kids run into the turbine room, and Bob cries after them, "Be careful, there's hydro-electricity in there!"
After a chase scene through the dam's innards, Sideshow Bob manages to corner the Simpson kids. "Will you children stop tormenting me? I've done nothing wrong!"
Bart confronts Bob with the money, and Bob says, "Where did that come from? I've never seen that money before in my life."
Lisa says, "Then you must have had your eyes closed when you embezzeled it!"
"I told you, I'm not a criminal anymore! You want to know what I've been up to? Here's a clue for you, Jack! One hundred thousand tons of reinforced concrete!" He bangs the wall, and it crumbles, "My God, it's completely hollow! What happened to all the concrete?"
The kids assume that Sideshow Bob has been skimming money out of the project, and Bart shouts, "Get him Lise!"
Lisa charges head first at Bob, but he stops her with one hand, and says, "But I wasn't in charge of the money -Cecil was. Now, let's stop bickering and get out of here - this dam could collapse at any minute!"
One minute past sunrise, to be precise!" Cecil says as he enters.
Confused, Bob says, "Cecil?"
"Once I blow up the dam, there'll be no evidence of missing concrete, and I'll walk away with fifteen million." Cecil reveals his plan - he's going to take the money, and blow up the dam, "Perhaps they'll blame it on the master criminal. You know, the one who's been working at the dam and has a grudge against Springfield?"
Bob says, "Now I know cousin Merle has had his trouble with the revenuers, but he's hardly a master cri - oh, you're referring to me."
Cecil replies, "Yes, I'm framing you, and I'm doing a really good job, too."
"Wait a minute," Bob asks, "this is all because I got to be Krusty's sidekick instead of you, isn't it?"
"Off the record, yes. But officialy, I did it for the money!" he takes aim at Bart, and orders him to hand over the money. He leaves, and then comes back, "I forgot to mention, I'm planning to blow up the dam with you inside."
"Well obviously" responds Bob.
After Cecil leaves, they try to follow, but they can't open the door. Lisa cries, "Oh it's hopeless! Utterly, utterly hopeless!"
"Oh, I see," Bob scowls, "When it's one of my schemes you can't foil it fast enough, but when Cecil tries to kill you - 'It's hopeless, utterly, utterly hopeless.' Well if you kids aren't going to foil him, I'll have to do it myself." he throws a two by four into a turbine, locking it into place, "Come one, quickly now!"
Lisa runs up to Bob, but Bart pauses. Bob tells him, "Bart, for once, I'm not trying to kill you. I know it's an awkward situation, and I don't like it any more than you do, but you've got to trust me!" Bart decides to follow, and they jump in to the pipe.
Eventually they hit the end of the pipe, and there's a manhole they can climb out of. After treaching the top, Bart says, "Let's go again! Let's go again!"
"No!" sputters Lisa."
Bob calls the Simpsons to action, "Come on children, let's go thwart my brother!"

Outside the sun is rising, and Cecil is singing as he sets up a bomb. Sideshow Bob appears, and runs over to the TNT, preparing t cut it.
"Ummm, do you know what you're doing?" asks Lisa.
"Lisa, you don't spend ten years as a homicicdal maniac without learning something about dynamite."
Nearby, Cecil is preparing to blow up the dam, running through a checklist. Bart jumps on him, and says, "Guess who!"
"Maris?" asks Cecil. The money falls over the edge of the dam, but Cecil gets Bart, and prepares to kill him.
"By throwing me off a dam? Isn't that a little crude for a genius like you?" Bart asks.
Cecil thinks for a second, "Ooh, I suppose it is. If anyone asks, I'll lie!" Cecil throws Bart over, but Bob swings out across the dam by the TNT wires to catch the falling Simpson. As they hang from the wire, Cecil goes after the plunger.
"Cecil!" Bob pleads with his brother.
"And now to kill you. There may be a slight ringing in your ears. Fortunately, you'll be nowhere near them."
Bob pulss out his wire cutters and says to Bart, "You know, I could snip the wires. We'd fall to our deaths, but we'd save the entire town. Bart, how would you like to do something incredibly noble?"
Bart asks, "Do we have to?"
"Yes." Bob answers, and he cuts the wire. They start to scream as they fall, but it's so far that they have to catch their breath before screaming some more. Suddenly Bob lands crotch-first on a pipe. Bart manages to climb over to some scaffolding, and hauls Bob up after him."
"You, you saved my life Bart!" Bob says.
Bart replies, "I guess this means you can't ever try to kill me again, huh?"
"Oh, I don't know about that," Bob says, grinning evilly, then adds, "Joking, joking!"

As Bob and Bart crawl to the top of the dam, the Police arrive. Cecil is being cuffed, and Bob tells him, "You've brought shame to this family, Cecil. Oh I don't relish having to write the Christmas letter this year."
"Nor I to read it. You know Bob, all this time I thought you were a bungler, but destroying the city is far tougher than I thought." Chief Wiggum arrives, and Lou says, "Here's your man chief." handing over Cecil.
"Cecil?" Wiggum asks incredulously, "I think not! This looks like the work of crazy old Sideshow Bob."
"No chief, Bob's innocent - it's the truth!" Lisa tells him.
"The truth, huh? That sounds liek the testimony of crazy old Lisa Simpson."
Lou tells Wiggum that Cecil confessed, and Wiggum tells him, "You'll make Sergeant for this."
"I am sergeant." Lou responds.
"Perhaps you are, but I say Bob goes back to jail!"
Bob now says, "But surely, I mean...I caught Cecil!"
"Maybe, but Lou says you were resisting arrest."
"No I didn't, chief."
"Quiet, Lou, or I'll bust you down to Sergeant."
Bart thinks it's funny that the people of Springfield don't know how close they came to destruction - at which point the dam bursts. Homer barely manages to avoid getting washed away by the water, and when he looks outside again, Ralph is in the middle of the street crying, "I think I wet my bed."

As Bob is cuffed and locked in the car, he cries, "But you can't do this! I saved the children's lives. I'm a hero!"
Cecil says to Bob, "Tell them they'll live to regret this."
"You'll live to regret this!" shouts Bob. Then he turns to Cecil, "Oh thanks a lot, now I look crazy."
As the Police car drives away, Wiggum ponders, "There they go, two criminal geniuses locked away together. Who knows what diabolical schemes they might concoct?"

A while later, we find Bob and Cecil being locked up in their cell. Both make a break for the bed, and start fighting over the top bunk, "You give me..." Cecil grunts.
"I'm the older brother, I get the top bunk!" Bob tells him.
"Oh, poppycock, I called it at the arraignment!"
Finally, Bob knocks Cecil over, and claims the top bunk. Cecil gets up, brushes himself off, and asks, "So, when do they bring us the menus?"

[Krusty Gets Busted] [Black Widower] [Cape Feare] [Sideshow Bob Roberts] [Sideshow Bob's Last Gleaming] [The Brother From Another Series]
[Day of the Jackanapes] [The Great Louse Detective] [Cameos]

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