STATUS: Heel. Tag team partners with, and mentor of, Patti Pizzazz. Feuding with Ice Cold and Poison, although Poison may have switched to Lana's side now.
WRESTLING: Lana doesn't do much of this. Her finisher is a bulldog, which is probably enough said right there. Mostly, she hits people over the head with mirrors (to quote Randall in "Clerks": "and badly, I might add.") Unlike virtually all the other WOW girls, Lana does not look very athletic, and if she were asked to wrestle more, you have to wonder how well she would do it.
CHARACTER: Lana plays the self-obsessed wannabe starlet decently. She has definitely gotten a lot better as time goes on. Surprisingly, given how much she is being relied upon to do, I don't think she is the best actress in WOW. But she's ok. In most of her scenes, she has had to carry two huge safes in the form of Patti Pizzazz and David McLane.
LOOKS: Lana is not my type, but I'm strange like that. She is definitely that buxom, slim, blond type that is usually presented to us as gorgeous. (Although there is a limit to how good anyone can look in that stupid hat.) To me, her face looks funny, and I suppose the character might have something to do with it too.
COMMENTS: It's supposed to be a joke that Lana thinks that WOW is "her show". But really, it isn't that much of a joke at all. Lana usually has the first match of any episode, along with at least one sketch per ep. Her storyline is the only one that is consistently developed. She had a Christmas episode almost to herself (I'm not saying it wasn't funny, mind you.) Her "haircut" tag team match at the PPV was hyped far more than either title match. It's not quite her show...but she is clearly the star of the ensemble cast.
I don't think even Lana's most ardent fans would claim that she is anything special as a wrestler. So it's natural that the fans who like to watch specifically for the wrestling would not dig her much. I would argue, however, that the fans who like to watch specifically for the storyline aren't getting much out of her top billing either. It's not Lana's fault, I hasten to add...but "who dyed my hair green?" has to be one of the dumbest excuses for a wrestling feud ever. The simple fact is that it is not going to appeal to enough people. The 18-to-34 year old male audience that drives wrestling aren't going to care about Lana's Barbie-doll problems. They are already predisposed to think that women's wrestling is wimpy. If WOW is trying to win these people over with "who dyed my hair green" and people gently tapping each other over the head with mirrors...well, I find it hard to believe that it's gonna work.
Lana is often compared to Pamela Anderson. Well, do you think "V.I.P." would be the most popular show in syndication if Pam spent five episodes worrying about who dyed her hair green? I highly, highly doubt it. Even horny guys won't watch a show just because a hot girl is on it; she needs to also be doing something that has some interest to them. In Lana's case, one thing that suggests itself that she could be doing is...WRESTLING! I mean, it being Women of Wrestling and all.
Lana is doing the best she can with what she's given, as far as I can tell. But I feel that either her storylines need to be way less cheesy, or she needs to be less of a focus.
UPDATES:
2/11/01 (show #19):
- Amazingly, Lana was not in this episode. Actually, none of the established
big names appeared...it was very strange, especially since only one match (Slam
Dunk vs. Roxy Powers) had anything to do with the
events of the previous week's PPV. Can't really explain this booking, although
apparently, the wrestling was good.
2/18/01 (show #20):
- Lana took on Randi Rah Rah and lost. Although Lana
still can't wrestle, I liked the persona she projected in the ring. She makes
a good "I can't believe this person is hitting the great Lana Star"
face. And her cowardly running out of the ring (and mocking of Randi as she
did it) was fun. As I discussed above, I think it's smart for them to play her
storylines out through wrestling matches, as they did here, as opposed to having
a million interviews and clips.
3/4/01 (show #22):
- Lana refused to help or support Patti in her match, Patti lost, Randi supported
Patti a lot, Lana put Randi out again. Lana/Patti breakup seems to be a fait
accompli, which I think is good.
Lana also won the swimsuit competition with a "last minute surge in the voting". Wow, that was an even lamer explanation than I thought it would be. What does it accomplish, anyway? She gets to be more vain now? Was that really an aspect of her character that needed to be emphasized more?
3/11/01 (re-run #1):
- Well, now that it's about skits and not wrestling, it's inevitable that Lana
will be pushed more. This week, she officially dumped Patti. That was good.
She also drew the wrath of the other swimsuit contest competitors. Still no
sign of anything interesting coming of that.