ASG, I have to confess something to your fans worldwide? Let me begin by
telling you my story.
I was in my hometown over the weekend to hang out with my family and friends.
The P.O or you fans might like to call them wifey's, honey, sweetie, etc., but I
myself call her, (for confidential purposes), lets call her "Pinkie". Well, I
was up to my no good habits, and was partying all weekend and decided to hit on
a few girls and do my usual thing. But that's not what "Pinkie" was mad about
or what got me into the hot seat. Nor was she mad at my usual instigating
antics by trying to get my friends to fight so I can get my usual cheap shots
and jabs in.
I must now confess my deep secret to all the fans out there visiting your
website hourly.
Well, I beat "Pinkie" back to our home in "fAllen", low and behold no one else
was at home. So I thought what the heck I have some time to kill before she
gets back. So I thought that I could pull off a lil sneaky sneaky.... and
invited a "friend" over. Needless to say it got all hot, wet, and sticky from
all the whipped cream and chocolate we were using. Well, during this intimate
bliss, I lost track of time. It was the best sexual moment ever...dare I say,
"El Fuego!"
Well, that's when she came home. I hurriedly got myself cleaned up and tried to
play it cool and ran to door and greeted her. "Hey Pinkie" I said. I think she
noticed something right away, I guess the chocolate around my mouth gave it
away, well and the fact that she said I smelled clean. (Side note: I had
hidden my friend in the closet in hopes that she would go use the restroom or
leave to her sister's house so that I could sneak my friend out.)
Well, she then starts to proceed to the bedroom and hear some noises coming from
the closet. Well, to make the long story short, and after 5 minutes of trying
to convince her that no one else was present in the house. I even tried the old
trick "I don't hear anything, what are you talking about?" She opened the
closet doors and found my half-naked "friend" trying to re-clothe himself. Yes,
I said "himself." So that's the story, she got mad at me for having a big black
guy in our house and tossing (literally) my salad. So some of our future plans
has now been postponed for this reason. That is the truth and nothing but the
truth.
I have now confessed of my wrongdoings. What am I to do to get back on the good
side of my "Pinkie" so that we can go forth with our future plans?
Confessional C-wood
Thank you Confessional for trusting me and my readers to
help you out. Let me first preface by saying, although I am a very kind
person, I cannot say the same for my readers. As you can see from the
advice
that they gave Hurt in Houston, not all of it was very constructive. I
must say that you do sound oddly familiar to me. I can't put my finger on
it yet. [asg]
Keep your head up, "Confessional". Sometimes life throws you a curve when you're
looking for a fastball. I'm sure everything will turn around for you. If
"pinkie" can't accept you for your pole-smoking self, then she has the problem.
She knew you liked playing for the "other team" before you guys were married.
You can't change who you are. If you would like, I can schedule you for some
one-on-one counseling. Just give me a call.
On a completely unrelated subject, I had a weird dream last night. I dreamt that
I was using a public bathroom and that John Holmes was there and he became
extremely jealous of my penis size. Does this make me gay, or just extremely
well-hung? Just curious (not in a "bi-" way).
Sassy
since y'all like to discuss if something is gay or not, why don't you
and your lover dp your wife and tell us if it is gay or not.
problem solver
I bet when you walk around and fart people probably think there a tugboat
somewhere near! Phooooot! Phoooooot!
But seriously, this is what you should do. Who cares about "Pinkie" Its your
world, she should cater to you! If you want "black" coffee instead of the
Vietnamese iced coffee then so be it! She should say, "Do you need a cherry to
top off the whip cream and those nuts?" Or better yet! To make it up for
her....you bring home a gal for her! Bring home another asian girl or if she's
not blackness or likes cream in her coffee then cater to that. Surprise her
with another girl to return the favor! After they get all hotted up and oiled
up!
anonymous
just remember...
don't come knockin'
when the closet is rockin'
and remember to put the lock in
when you put the cock in.
gay baxtard...
fingercuffs (and yes, i'm chinese)
r u finished with ur friend? hahahaha
rippa
Sup boy toy? It seems that Confessional and "Pinkie" are the same to me, if you
know what I mean **wink wink** Don't you go off forgetting about our little
romp. Whoopsie!!!
whoopsie negro
C-wood.....would you like to see my wood? I'm not a big black guy by any chance
or measures. But I would love to meet up with you. I mean, if you ever want to
have a one on one session you can definitely give me a call baby. I'll do
more than just hide in the closet, I'll take you in there with me, and by the
time that we are finished, you'll be happy to have come out of the closet. I'll
satisfy you in more ways than any women ever could, honey. I'll rock your boat,
and make it float, if you know what I mean!
But honey, who needs women? Us guys can stick together and stick it together,
and stick each other darling!
I put the "pee" in Peter!
PeeWee Peter
First of all....is it true that once you go brack, you poop loosely with extra
slack? Just wondering.
But to the advice:
1st - never admit to any wrong doings!
2nd - go get your @ss sewn back up!
3rd - who needs future plans anyways? Viva the moment!
4th - do you hear echoes when you fart now? now? now? no? n? ?
EVILLLLLLLLLLLL
first, chollywood tries to bust me, then he busts on himself? what is going on
here? i think cholly is just an attention whore. can't you see cholly jumping
up in front of pinkie saying, "look at me, look at me!" pathetic.
on to the advice. this does sound familiar is some ways to a letter sent out to
a particular e-mail list. i think pinkie will understand your experimental
stages. she has stuck with you through other things. i'm sure she will stick
with you through this...or is it she will stick it to you?
jabrone
Readers, you know the drill. Read the letter carefully and then offer up
your own heartfelt advice of love to Confessional. Remember, I actually
did not make this letter up. It was submitted anonymously through the safe
confines of the internet. Also, catch up on letters that you may have
missed in or Archives section.
