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Recipes |
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*The Ultimate Christmas Cake*
With Christmas just around the
corner .....INGREDIENTS
1 cup best butter
1 cup sugar
4 large eggs
1 cup dried fruit
1 teaspoon bicarb soda
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
lemon juice
1 cup brown sugar
nuts
1 or 2 litres whisky
METHOD
Before you start, sample the whisky to check for quality, good isn't it? Now go ahead and select large mixing bowl, measuring cup, etc. Check whisky again as it must be just right! To be sure that the whisky is of the highest quality pour 1 level cup out and drink prompty. Repeat.
With an electric mixer, beat 1 cup butter in a fluffy bowl, then add 1 tspn of thugar and beat again. Meanwhile, make sure that the whisky has not on goff. Cry another tup. Open second bottle if necessary. Add 2 large eggs, 2 cups fried druit and beat until high. If druit gets stuck in beaters just pry loose with a drewscriver. Sample whisky again for tonscisticity. Next, sift 3 cups of salt, or anything white, coo hares.
Sift 1/2 pint lemon juice. Fold in chopped butter and strained nuts. Add one babblespoon of brown thugar or whatever colour you have heft and mix well. Grease oven and turn cake pan onto 350 gradees. Now pour the whole mess into the coven and ake. Check whisky one mor time and bo to ged. HAPPY BAKING!
*Mrs Bourne's Mince Pies*
Makes about 30 Mince pies
INGREDIENTS
1/2 lb margarine
1/2 cup sugar
3 cups plain flour
1 large egg
1 teaspoon baking powder 1
egg, milk and caster sugar for glazing
METHOD
Cream together margarine and sugar. Beat eggs then slowly add flour and baking powder. Roll out as thinly as possible using lots of flour on work surface. Cut large and small circles. Use the large circles as bases in a bun tray. Add mincemeat and put smaller circles on as tops. brush with milk and eggs then sprinkle with sugar. Bake at Gas 5-6 for 10 - 15 mins.
*Ice-cream Pudding*
INGREDIENTS:
*Tony Stamp's Economy Sized Christmas Pudding*
INGREDIENTS:
METHOD:
2. Now get down to business. Take the top off the rum, and have a good swig. Belch loudly. Sigh contentedly and smak your lip, making appreciative sounds. Place bottle aside.
3. Find a mixing bowl, ie. Bathtub. Heave the flour into the tub and sneeze good-naturedly a few times, as the flour gets up your nose. Pull out a large red and white spotted hanky and blow your nose loudly.
4. Crack the eggs and curse them in a friendly way, as the shells fall into the mixture and the yolks splatter in your eye. Grab a big stick and stir the contents of the tub, grunting loudly in a masculine way.
5. Reach into the bag of plums and judge how many you need. Frowning in concentration, remove three and place them on the table. Tip the remaining plums into the tub and resume stirring, beginning to look hot and flustered,
6. Answer the doorbell and whip off your Santa hat before Vicky Hagen can get a proper glimpse of it. Act supremely calm and collected with a jolly overtone and convince her that she has better things to do right now that visit you. Half-heartedly stumble back into the kitchen.
7. Add raisins and butter, while you laugh in a 'Christmas Spirit' sort of way. Stir mixture until it resembles a thick, black, lumpy, glue-like substance. Add sprig of holly to decorate. Heave tub over shoulder and thankfully put it in the oven. Give a sigh of relief, pat yourself on the back and turn on high heat.
8. As the mixture burns, and a putrid smell emits from the oven, snatch up the fire extinguisher and spray the kitchen. Grumpily, you see yourself looking more like Santa Claus than ever (with a white foam beard) in the dipping oven door.
9. Grumpily answer the doorbell to find the whole Sun Hill A-relief there. Desperately wipe face and try to salvage the situation with a case of beer and a hearty 'Ho Ho Ho'. Think to yourself: Who needs pudding anyway? Especially since Vicky Hagen brought her special Christmas Chocolate mud Cake instead.
Oh well, there's always next Christmas!
*Polly's Christmas Pudding
*What makes Polly's Christmas Pudding different from your average, everyday, run-of-the-mill sort of Christmas pudding? Erm... Well, not a lot actually. Basically, it's a rich, dark, heavily fruited version of the standard Christmas pudding that's easy to make and tastes especially delicious because it's served with brandy butter. More importantly, it contains that inexplicable quality that sets Polly-related dishes apart from ordinary food. What is this mystical quality? Weren't you listening? I just told you that it's inexplicable! You'll have to find out for yourself. I'll give you a hint, though - Look at the ingredient list! Ingredients like icing sugar and cherries are essential parts of this recipe and they also feature heavily in other Polly-related recipes... However, the ultimate test for any Polly-related recipe is always the taste test. All Polly-related recipes taste sinfully delicious and I'm happy to say that this fantastic pudding is no exception to the rule!
Ingredients:
90g self-raising flour
125g shredded vegetable suet
30g almonds, shredded
125g carrot, grated
250g raisins
125g sultanas
125g fresh white breadcrumbs
125g cherries
1/4 teaspoon grated nutmeg
60g mixed candied peel, chopped
90g icing sugar
grated zest and juice of 1 lemon
2 eggs, beaten
butter for greasing
75ml dark rum
Brandy Butter:
250g unsalted butter
250g icing sugar
90ml brandy