INTELLECTUAL ENCRYPTION

The Secret Masters of the Blogosphere, or at least some of them, apparently use a special protocol for encrypting their messages, a protocol built from Dr Cory Oral's Doublethink Algorithm, occasionally combined with a small measure of Chaffian Reasoning. This is a form of INTELLECTUAL ENCRYPTION that can baffle those who are not privy to its secret methods. In fact, it is so effective, that I think the Secret Masters probably even believe the intellectually encrypted statements themselves, their brains completely addled by the algorithm. In this way, the Doublethink Algorithm bears many startling similarites to Langford's 'Blit' brain-destroying imagery, as I can attest, having exposed myself to many Blit-works over the years.

Looking more closely, the Secret Masters' encryption system is closer to steganography, in that it hides their secret messages in apparent plain sight as ordinary blog postings. It seems that they want you to see something that looks ordinary, without realising that it has secret messages hidden within. Not for them obviously coded messages in the form of a long string of apparently meaningless symbols and words snaking across the page...er, well, maybe I'm wrong there.

Anyway, here's an example of intellectual encryption at work. In one intercepted message from the Secret Masters, I saw the phrase "social re-use of copyrighted material". After reversing the polarity of the neutron flow in Dr Cory Oral's Doublethink Algorithm, I discovered that this innocuous phrase is actually the intellectually encrypted version of "shameless plagiarism of somebody's hard work". The intellectually encrypted word "sampling" came out as the plain English "plagiarism," "re-mixing" as "plagiarism," the phrase "derivative work" as"plagiarism" and so on. There were other examples, though! "I do NOT allow ad hominem [ie personal] attacks on my site" actually means "I DO allow ad hominem attacks on my site." The examples are endless, if only you know how to spot them.

You can even generate your own intellectually encrypted phrases once you are used to the system by running them forwards through the Doublethink Algorithm. For instance, putting in the plain English 'Piracy of a short story by Ursula Le Guin' generates the intellectually encrypted phrase 'Fair use'. Who would ever guess the true meaning from those two innocent words?

THE UNCREATIVE COMMONS

The UnCreative Commons (UCC) is a scheme for licensing your work to other people so that they can work on it, distribute it and so on. The aim is to make uncreative people feel creative by tinkering with someone else's damaged toys, and for almost creative people to feel benevolent and paternal in handing down their used trainsets to the needy and desperate. A license typically takes the form:

• Someone has been granted these RIGHTS (eg to make derivative works) under these CONDITIONS (eg they must attribute the original creator).

The UCC has been taken up enthusiastically by many people over the last few years - for instance, by Cory Oral PhD, who has licensed many of his stories for use under UCC licenses, and has promoted the use of the UCC on his blog 'Dogshit'. Surprisingly, although the many licenses look different, I've discovered that these differences are cosmetic. In fact, all the most popular licenses of the UCC as unwittingly used by Cory Oral are intellectually encrypted versions of the same Master License.

So here, for the first time in public view, I present the decrypted version:

"UNCREATIVE COMMONS Master License - Viral Marketing 3.0

The Creator ('Hustler') of the Work ('Overhyped Piece of Junk') grants the right to any other Person ('Dumb Sucker') to:

• PROMOTE the Hustler

under the following conditions:

• PERSPIRATION. The Dumb Sucker agrees to spend hours of their own time working on the Overhyped Piece of Junk to improve it (by, for example, translating it into another language or making derivative works).
• NON-COMPENSATION. The Hustler is not obliged to compensate the Dumb Sucker for any revenues earned directly or indirectly through their effort."

I think you'll agree that this is much more comprehensible and succinct than the versions of the UnCreative Commons licenses you've seen discussed elsewhere.

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