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God damn... Tink keeps bugging me about getting a blog up here about my birthday, so ok, here it is. They took me to Underwater World on my B-day (Fri 28) which fucking rocked. Got to see all the sharks again, I love sharks. Got to pat the stingrays, which you arent supposed to do, but who cares, they feel awesome. I want a Leopard Ray, they are the most beautiful animal!! They are really rare because people hunt them for their skins, which is illegal mind you. If I ever met someone that did that I would kick the shit out of them, cos thats really not cool!! I saw shit loads of other animals and got to hang with the seals, pat them and hug them and shit. They're cute. That arvo on the way home it shitted down, which was awesome. Love the rain. And if it all wasnt good enough, I saw five fucking hummers, including a H3, then something like four porches, four limo's, including a kick ass mad-ass looking one, a sick mustang, and umm, I swear there was more but I cant remember. I was just super stoked on seeing the fucking hummers and mustang lol.

The next night was HIM. Do I even need to say more? Well in this case actually, yes I do lol. Not only did we go to see HIM, BUT I also got right up the front not even a meter or so away from Ville, seperated by two people and a barrier. The person in front of me was cool too, hot chick, we got along really well that night which was cool, cept when it all ended and went seperate ways. Thats cool though lol. Broke my sunnies that night lol. Last pair too. I still need some lol. Tink fucked herself up that night. She couldnt handle the concert and she fell and hurt herself which really is a major bummer. I tried holding onto her so she wouldnt get pushed away through the concert but it was so hard and she eventually got away. Ran into Nick the Dick that night too. Fuck I had a good night that night lol. That was the best weekend EVER!! Don't know how the fuck I'm gonna get them back for that lol.

Anywho my keyboard is fucking annoying me, it's making it EXTREMELY hard to type..... TINK..... so I'm off.

Yo had a party the other night, I had fun but for some reason I get the distinct impression that others didn't as much, which really bums me out. Oh well. At least I had fun, hehe. I don't really have anything to say, but I just felt like writting a blog lol.

Hey I'm sorry about not being able to chat today, wasnt very good timing. But all is good, there will always be another time, you know.

I dream of a world, the same as ours, but different. From an age, long lost. Before man, before Dinosaurs, before everything. An age of man exited before all this. Only few have any knowledge of the truths of these lost worlds. THose are the reincarnated wise men and women of those ages. They bring forth the truths of the old worlds. They live in a legendary land, hidden from all civilisation, the location known only to those that have lived in previous times. They live there with secrets that could both destroy, and save the world. They hold the secret of all ancient and lost worlds, myths and legends, the dinosaurs, evolution and more.

Enough of that weirdness, onto a more normal matter... Yeah... don't really have anything normal to talk about lol.

I have a job interview on Monday. Kinda looking forward to it, but kinda not. I want a job though lol. DUH. Tink's in Melbourne. I envy her... she got to fly and is on a holiday. I had so much I wanted to say when I originally logged on here, but now for some reason I can't think of any of it lol.

I want to say I'm sorry... I know you will tell me it's not my fault, but I still am. I'm really sorry for a lot of things, sorry for how things are, and even more sorry for how things have to stay. It sucks, but I'm an optamistic person, so should you, look on the bright side, which is a very big side, I'll still always be in your life. =D

Chatting to Tink at the moment, she seems like she is having a blast in Melbourne. I had to try and describe myself in detail tonight. I hate doing that, it's so much effort to think about me in that much detail lol. It's so much easier thinking about others and saying all the good things about them. Makes me feel better doing that, don't like doing it to myself much, makes me think I sound full of myself.

I really should upload some more pictures of me... lol... yeah I'm not full of myself, haha!! I wanna put lots more pix up actually, friends and pets and everything too, but I don't have enough space on this stupid site to put up as many as I would like. That's one thing I really don't like about GeoCities. Oh wel, when I'm rich I'll change all that I suppose.

Tink is getting a tattoo tomorrow. I'm so stoked for her, just absolutely thrilled. It's a heart and rose, I told her it should be more realistic and should be a broken heart. I thought of what I might get on my chest too... Written across my chest from the heartagram - Fuck You, then another heartagram of the same sort in the same place on the opposite side of my chest. Then I could still do fancy stuff. Or I could just do fancy shit to my heartagram and have Fuck You written on the other side of my chest, I don't know. I definetally want Fuck You on my somewhere like that though. Just to show the anger... even if only I see it.

You know today started out alright... but I am so fucking misreable now. No I am not going to go into why or anything, I'm not even going to go on about it. I just need to say that. I have so much built up anger and hate and sadness and... violence inside, I'm going to pop one day. And I know who will cop it all too, and I am really sorry for that, but it wont be on purpose, it'll just be because they are going to be around when it happens.

Interview tomorrow... I want it to be over and done with and get the job. Having a job means I can get money means I can get back into normal things. I think I'm gonna keep looking for work though. It's shit though, there are no jobs out that I am really interested in, and those that I am are some of the hardest things to get in to.

To those reading this, one in particular... this isnt for you, as you may at first think it is, I'm sorry I've written it in a similar way, but I had to.
I feel like there is this huge wall between us... and you are building it day by day. And not slowly either, it seems as every day goes by, it gets another whole later bigger. It's getting to the point where I'm really starting to doubt how much I know you, or how much you really want me around. You always say you feel like I'm the one that doesnt want you in my life, but I always feel like your the one that doesnt want me and so you keep pushing yourself away. Every time I see you there is always something... and now with... tomorrow... it's going to always remind me of today, always going to make me misreable... it might be a really great one, but it's probably never going to really look good to me, solely because of today. Thats why I said to you that I'm sorry that you're getting it done.

Now this part is for you lol. I've thought about what we were talking about the other day with us. As well as that email you sent. Not so much the email, but more just how I feel. You are right thought. I really know in my heart that no matter what happens, it just wont work anymore. I'll always be there for you when you need me, but what we had is gone, and it isnt comming back. I've been wanted to tell you this today but I really don't know how to. I cant bring myself to, especially after everything else that has happened to me today, I just cant do it, sorry. I am really sorry.

Now that I have upset everyone I am going to run and hide in a dark hole, maybe meet a strange animal and call it Shirley, and live there for the rest of my life. Either that or I will just leave now that I have nothing else to say, who knows lol.

Well my nightmare is complete. Althought my interview did go well, was quite amusing actually. One of the interviewers couldnt stop talking about two things, her new nifty phone thingo with Google Earth and pubs. Yes, thats right, she wouldnt stop talking about pubs and drinks and jumping castles, all through an interview. Now she wasnt one being interviewed, but the interviewer. Now that's what I call a little strange, although very entertaining. I think I would probably get the job too.

Despite that going well, not much else is. Tink is having a lot of fun in Melbourne though. I really mean a lot of fun too, like you wouldnt believe. Good on her I say, I just really wish I could join in on the fun. I on the other hand, am spending my time bored fucking shitless at home doing absolutely nothing. And now, to make it worse, my computer is fucked. I cant play any game at all because my computer shorts out and dies. And now even, if I start to get too deep into surfing the web, it fucking dies as well. It's absolutely intolerable!! I can't do fucking anything on it.

While you're out getting drunk, I wish I could be getting drunk. You know, something I really need know, is just some company. Seriously, even just someone to talk to, hence why I really want you to call so much. I'm sorry for annoying you all the time about it, I know that gets annoying when your on holiday, but yeah as I said, my life sucks ass at the moment, I really need the company. So thanks for spending a few minutes out of your time to just talk to me. I do appreciate it.

I really can't think of anything more... so I'm off, bye world.

It seems that everyday something happens that makes it worse and worse. I suppose I'm not so suprised about what you told me last night though... I've seen it comming for a long time now, and you know it cos I've told you about the dreams. I think what makes it worse though, is that you always promised me you never would, and still I knew you would. And thus you did. It's that, more than you actually doing it, which upsets me the most. I'm just waiting for the next thing now you know, I'm sorry, but I am just waiting for the next call or text where you tell me something else. I'm sure it will happen. I think I will be much more suprised if you don't. It would be a good suprised though. I just know thats as far fetched as the winning the million dollars idea, cos that'll never happen.

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