No One Ever Asks

The troopers serve as Chum(p) bait on the Great White menu. Meanwhile James lables one of my favorite characters "flavorless" and lives to tell about it!

Analysis

You know, this episode was well on its way to receiving a perfect score of 5; that was up until the third act, which revealed why B-M desperately needs a drug testing policy!

After overshadowing M'saada for virtually the entire season the producers felt she had worked up enough resentment so that any annoyance what-so-ever would immediaely set her off into confrontational mode. Here M'saada is bantering with James on his debating skills--or lack thereof. Implyin --albeit inadvertebly--that James has a tendency to talk out of his ass (M'saada could take a few pointers from Kelly and advise James to take "Communication Skills 101" but that's my .02 cents). To further hammer home her point, M'saada gets all self-righteous and proclaims that she's 90% all ears as opposed to James who's 90% all mouth!

Soon the Roadies bid a temporary farewell to the good ole US of A as they hitch a flight bound for Cape Town, South Africa. However, upon arrival it becomes evident that this won't exactly be a holiday to remember, when Bill & Ted (unannounced) embark on their excellent adventure, thus leaving their travelmates to ponder their whereabouts.

The girls (led by Kathy) spend the next 2hrs justifiably venting about Bill & Ted's total lack of respect; Laterrian--momentarily sucking up--totally agrees with the girls' complaint. Eventually Kathy & Co. get fed up and are ready to "bounce," but before they can act Bill & Ted come barreling in on a stolen airport dolly like acouple 10 year olds on summer vacation. For their part, Bill (James) &-to a lesser extent Ted (Bumpkin) are totally unapologetic for bailing out on the group to go flush themselves at a local bar. Kathy lays down the law, warning them if they pull this stunt again there're out (Ugh, does that mean "out" as in voted out Survivor style? Cool!).

From there the troopers all climb into the Mini-Shasta (complete with a rr.09 logo on the side) to search for some local accommodations. Bill & Ted (still drunk) choose this moment to play back seat driver with their moronic taunting of M'saada's driving skills--(which BTW were fairly good considering that she's traversing on the left side of the road in a different land). For instance, there's one scene where M'saada & Co. are trying to figure out the purpose of a red blinking light on the dashboard--to which Bill exclaims, "It's the party light!". I don't know why, but this line cracked me up; however the line struck a different cord with M'saada! She whirls on Bill ordering him to "Shut up!". Bill--blood pressure high as a Firestone CEO--unleashes a verbal assault on M'saada--M'saada returns the fire, and it's like Def Comedy Jam in the Mini-Shasta!

At one point Bill attempts to slander M'saada by referring to her as "Tofu" but if he had taken the time to crack a dictionary Mr. Hothead would've found out that in fact Tofu is rather flavorless, but once cooked it can send your taste buds into ecstasy; so if I were M'saada I'd take that as a complement!

But M'saada's obviously in a bad mood. At one point she threatens to send everyone in the van to the hereafter, but that would be rather selfish don't ya think M'saada? At least jump out before you reach the cliff! (Ok, my bad) Of course she doesn't follow through--like this show is capable of displaying that level of drama. But let this be a lesson to Bill & Ted: Never piss off the driver of a vehicle, especially when considering that that driver (momentarily) carries your well-being in their hands!

Soon the troopers arrive at their "accommodations" and B-M blows Yet Another opportunity for some decent continuity! Given how rarely the show re-visits a particular location season-after-season (Las Vegas not included) you'd think the producers would check in on the ole Bunker Klan from last season's "Journey to South Africa". I don't know why, but I suspect Bumpkin would refer to 704 Hauser St as "Home away from home".

Apparently there's been some bad blood between the sexes... so much that the guys and girls are now forming their own states with Kathy serving as president of the X Democracy, and government spy, Laterrian representing the Y Republic (Hmm, could "LT" be his code name?). And one would assume that after leaving the Shasta--and her Bluelight Special monitor--back in the states they'd be granted a reprieve from having to witness another grueling appearance from the atrocious Roadgimmick, but no such luck. Although, for the first time this season the twerp did look a bit-A BIT creepy when he first appeared with the red bleeding (no pun intended) down the screen as the bloated one cooed, "Blood".

Their clue: To meet some guy named Craig at the South African White Shark Research Institute tomorrow at 7 a.m. Once they arrive Craig informs them that they'll serve as shark bait--2 in a cage--to distract the animals long enough for the researchers to tag'em. As usual the troopers get their free money ($6,000) for practically doing nothing. Why not have 2 in the cage and 2 tagging the sharks? At least make them earn their money. Any moron can wade in water, sheesh!

At this point the episode was turning into one of the finest half hours of the season to date: that was until the third act, when M'saada and the girls were interrogating Laterrian about his two-face persona. Anyone with jello for brains could instantaneously identify the troopers' accommodations as the same location of the Rest Room scandal conference herring in "Goodbye". Whoa! Now I'm really confused! How long did this Laterrian/Kathy saga drag out? Not to mention (again) the editors' total disregard for consistency. Either 1.) They think the viewers are retarded. Or 2.) They just don't give a crap anymore. One thing is for certain... Never ever perceive anything on Road Rules as being consistent. For all we know the fight in the Mini-Shasta happened in Australia and the shark mission took place off the California Coast. Hey, I don't put anything past the tricky finger editors!

Oh ya! Bill and M'saada come to a mediocre trues over the earlier argument in the Mini-Shasta. We get hints that M'saada may have a thing for ole Bill, but any romantic interest were no doubt flushed after the aforementioned incident.


NEXT WEEK: I'm not sure, but from the looks of things B-M's trying to do a cheap cop-out of Survivor.


Jump straight to "It's No Sacrifice". Or go back to "Theo's Big Adventure".

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