Procedures for Providing Writers With Feedback



Examining & Marking HelpGram Drafts

As you know, writers will submit their HelpGrams to you via an MS Word e-mail attachment. Since our goal is to make writers aware of issues or errors in their writing, you will not be responsible for inserting any corrections or revisions into HelpGrams. Instead, you will insert notations and comments within each HelpGram, and the writers will revise their HelpGrams according to the meanings of these codes.

To begin analyzing a writer's HelpGram, read it carefully to get a general sense of its purpose, intended use, organization, language, relevance, and style. Read the HelpGram to yourself, and read it aloud. Then, let the following questions guide your analysis and your evaluation of HelpGram drafts:

Content

  1. What is the purpose of this document?

  2. What feelings does the writer wish to evoke in the reader, and how effective is the writer in achieving these aims?

  3. What action does the writer expect the reader to take after reading the HelpGram?

  4. What does the intended audience already know about the topic?

  5. Does the HelpGram communicate common-sense information or does it provide new, useful or surprising information?

  6. Does the writer give enough breadth and depth to the topic?

  7. Does the HelpGram motivate the reader and encourage the reader to take action?

  8. Do the data points complement the expert statement and vice versa?

  9. Are the recommended books and links appropriate and relevant to the HelpGram topic?

  10. Do the recommended links provide slightly different information?

  11. Do the recommended links and books provide comprehensive information that's written in a language and style that's appropriate for our readers?

  12. Do the links and books conform to our editorial criteria for selecting links and books?

Language

  1. Does the content of the expert statement conform to our editorial guidelines (content, structure, concise, conversational, flow, lively language)?

  2. Does the expert statement lead capture the reader's attention or engage the reader?

  3. Does the author use one of our four organization schemes to organize the data points?

  4. Is the structure of the data points suited for the HelpGram's topic?

  5. Is the content of the HelpGram written in a tone and style that's appropriate for our projected demographics and is consistent with our editorial style?

  6. Is the writing concise and conversational?

  7. Can any words be simplified, shortened or deleted?

  8. Do any sentences need to be rearranged, restructured, or deleted?

  9. Do the sentences in the expert statement and the data points flow smoothly?

  10. Are any sentences, phrases or words awkward?

  11. Does the writer use jargon or pretentious language that can be written more conversationally?

  12. Is the content concrete and specific?

  13. Do any portions of the HelpGram need to be rewritten?

  14. Are there any clichés that can be replaced with original phrases that communicate the same idea conveyed in the cliché?

  15. Does the HelpGram need more compelling information or new research?

After examining the HelpGram draft, you will mark it by using Word's comment feature. To use Word's comment feature, follow the procedures below:

  1. Open the attached document.

  2. Save the attached document in a location on your hard drive. You may want to create a "Commented HelpGrams" directory where you can save drafts.

  3. Paste the following message at the top of the document:

    Dear Writer:

    Your commented HelpGram is below. Please remember that I cannot edit, proofread or correct any mistakes I find in your draft. Instead, I must only point out issues in your HelpGram that you need to improve or modify. It is up to you to revise your HelpGram accordingly.

    The list below explains the notations in your draft. I have placed them in the highlighted areas of words, phrases, and/or sentences in your draft. Please refer to this list when reading over your paper. This will help you interpret my markings accurately. In addition, I have inserted text comments in your draft. To access the notations and comments, roll your mouse over the highlighted areas in your draft. Thank you for sending your draft.

    • **A**: An awkward phrase

    • **CITE**: Cite the indicated phrases according to the guidelines in the writing guide.

    • **D**: Delete an unnecessary word, phrase, or sentence.

    • **POV**: Inappropriate or inconsistent shift in person ("POV" stands for point of view).

    • **PR**: Proofread symbol, indicates a grammar, spelling, word usage or punctuation error.

    • **SI**: Style issue, such as a word that can be simplified, sentences that don't flow well, overly complex sentences, and language that's not conversational enough.

      **T**: Inappropriate tone (such as referring to people as sick, victims, sufferers etc.).

    • **TYPO**: Typo, such as a marking, a missed word, an extra word etc.

    • **WP**: Phrase or sentence that's wordy and can be written more concisely ("WP" stands for wordy phrase).


  4. Highlight the text for which you want to insert a comment by using your mouse.

  5. Go to the "Insert" menu at the top of the screen and select "Comment" from the drop-down menu.



  6. Use the following code to insert comments in the HelpGram in the frame at the bottom of the screen:



You may also insert your comments in a writer's draft when you have to communicate something that would be better conveyed with your words instead of the above notations. When the user rolls his or her mouse over the commented areas, he or she will be able to read your comments and notations as in the image below.

  1. Compose an e-mail message with the marked draft attached and with global comments (see below) in the body of the message:

    "CC" the message to your team's editor and assistant editor as well as the E-ternship Director. The e-mail message should include global comments, one to three short paragraphs that address the major issues or errors in the writer's draft and offer broad suggestion for improving the draft.

    Be sure to include at least two or more sentences at the beginning of your global comments that highlight the positive aspects of the writer's draft. If you examined a lousy draft, complement the writer for putting forth good effort. In general, find something positive to tell the writer about his or her draft before saying offering suggestions for improvement. Also, let the suggestions in the writing guide for implementing an effective tone, guide how you craft your global comments.

    Here's an example of some global comments:

    Dear Writer:

    Your commented draft is attached. In general, I thought your HelpGram was very well written. It had a pleasant tone, a smooth, easy-to-follow flow, and it was quite informative. However, I did notice a lack of parallel structure in some list items in your expert statement and data points. In addition, be sure to read over the sections of the writing guide on structuring your expert statement. I felt that your expert statement didn't meet the guidelines set forth in the writing guide. Finally, make sure to cite all your sources according to the rules in the "Avoiding Plagiarism" page of the writing guide. I noticed one sentence that didn't include a citation for the statistics you mentioned. Please see the attached draft for additional comments. Again, you did a great job. I look forward to assisting you in the future.

    Sincerely,
    Writing Coach


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