Yup, ya sissies, here's the pile of junk I received during these months...HEY I WORKED HARD you smiley little brats! Happy Reading...
3/7/00------Arghhh...just seems to be one busy month after another! >.< Letters letters AND MORE LETTERS seem to pile one after the other on my gawddamn sack! (no you stupid perverts, not THAT sack). Today, I have a letter from Dyne and a very short one indeed! I think I'm begninng to like this guy he sounds cool :)
Dear Mustadio:
I am a very lazy person. I have just finished a fanfic that takes up over 69 notebook pages and am too lazy to get it typed up right away, even though many people are expecting it. I'd hire someone to do it for me, but only I can read my writing. What should I do? WHAT SHOULD I DO?!
PS: I saw you stealing Zell's hot dogs the other day, PUT 'EM BACK!
Ok...for once in my life I'll admit that I was wrong...definatley not a cool guy in my opinion, not even if I stuck you in a damn freezer you'd be cool. Ok, to the letter. My question to you is, if your so damn lazy, THEN WHY ARE YOU WRITING TO ME? IF YOU'RE SO LAZY HOW THE HELL DID YOU COME TO WRITING THIS PIECE OF B.S.? HUH? I swear, you kids these days...and who cares about your stupid fanfic, people just email you "expecting" it just to make you feel all special inside...in other words they're KISSING ASS. Are you that dense? Is your head filled with so much Mercury it's actually denser than it? GEesh...do you really have enough money to hire people to do your dirty work? Are you a pimp out in "da" streets? Hey I know! Your that kid who wrote to me the other day asking for my measurements, aren't you? AREN'T YOU?? Your that British kid Laguna in disguise, aren't you??/ AAAhhh!!! What should you do? LEAVE! PACK YOUR CRAP OF A WEBPAGE AND LEAVE!! AAAAAHHHH I'M BEING PLAGUED BY PERVERTS!! *tears up the letter in rage*
3/7/00---Hoo-boy, another letter today, one less one in the pile of crap. Honestly...I've got a letter today from some kid named Shinryuu_21 in efforts to try and kiss my ass..gosh I hate that. Anyway, let's read on.
Dear Mustadio,
I do hope you wouldn't be offensed by this, but
really, you're just as good as Orlandu are much better
than Agrias, even the others, Beowulf, Reis, Worker8,
Meliadoul look terrible compared to you, I guess it's
because of that little skill known as " Arm Aim "
which is cheesy, but effective. By the way, you want
to take over Crono's page, try taking a Zodiac stone
from Ramza, preferrably Aries ( Velius ! ), heh heh,
just a thought :P.
P.S. Your Blaze Gun kicks ass :)
( Gun that shoots Ice, Ice2 or Ice3 )
...listen up kid, I'm offended easily. By reading my mailbag you should DAMN WELL KNOW THAT BY NOW. I have a short fuse and am pretty much intolerant to insignificant brats like yourself! >.< *in fake syrupy-sweet voice* Oh gosh, I hope I haven't offended you! hahahahaha!!! Ok...the difference between me and Orlandu, other than age obviously (unless your dumb like that Dyne kid) is that Orlandu tends to have his heart attacks more often. I'm not saying I suffer heart attacks, but at the rate you brats are pestering me, I may as well have one soon!! Another thing I really dislike is people asking me stuff about the game!! I HATE THAT, I REALLY DO. IF YOU WANTED QUESTIONS ANSWERED ABOUT THE GAME, TRY ONE OF THOSE CHEESY INFO SITES. My Arm Aim is good, I'll agree with you on that, but if you don't stop with the Game Talk, I'm going to snipe your ass so numb, you won't feel a 50 ft spike poking your ass!! And when I take over this page, I'll make sure that people like you don't come anywhere near it! And Velius...damn now why would I wanna turn into a big fat nasty sheep on PMS? Huh? Now you tell me that much!! Maybe you shouldn't think so much!
3/7/00---My head is starting to hurt. Can't anyone give me a good enough letter today? Geez. Some pills would be nice about now..and I don't mean those birth control. Anyway, let's see what our next letter brings.
Dear Mustadio
^____^ Da great Niki-chan here again! *bows*
DELITA IS SEXY THAT'S WHY I LUV HIM!
*sarcastically* No, I'm male and proud to be gay. That's why I fall for guys
like you, sweetie! *glomps onto Mustadio* BWA HAH!
~Niki-chan, influenced by too many bars of chocolate~
BTW, DUDE! Crono knows Sonya?! Well, actually, her alias is Alys right now. I
think Sonya is Alys... well, that's what Alys told me when she came over to
me and Reis's house. ^_^
I tell you I don't know why some people bother writing like zillions of times...don't they have other things to do? Ok, you being gay thinking Delita is sexy...what a combination...but then again I always thought you and a bunch others were gay..but listen, sweetie, do big uncle Mustadio a big favor---LAY THE HELL OFF!!! I DON'T SWING THAT WAY, SO GO GET RAMZA OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT!!
P.S. does it look like I care about this Sonya person? Probably another gay friend of yours ^_^ Lay off the cough syrup mi lad...
3/7/00---Just as I thought I was finished for the day I find a couple of more letters hidden in the bag that have sat there for eons. My first impulse was to toss em in the trash, but oh no Crono wants them up! Then she wants to apologize!! AAhh, what the hell is that?? Geesh...
Dear Mustadio
::Silver Angel reads over what you wrote for her sister:: Whoa! Rrow!
Silver Angel
*Sigh* How many times has this kid written to me now? Her or her sister for that matter? If I had a penny for every time I've recieved a letter from either of these brats, by golly, I'd be able to put gas in my little buggy at least. But this letter...either I have a really bad headache or I just don't understand what this letter is supposed to tell me...*feeds paper into translater and has it spit back out uncorrected* Hmm..*feeds it back in and has it spit back out again* Arggghhh!!! *stuffs and crams the letter in so bad that the paper gets burned in the process* ....Oh well...
2/24/00------Well it seems like February is a busy month for this hunky guy (me!). Either that or everyone's got a red ass in celebration of this pathetic month. Anyway, I'm not to thrilled with the incoming letters especially since this month has been busy but as Crono says, "I must do my job". I don't even get to file a tax return. Sad, isn't it? NOW BOW DOWN AND FEEL SORRY FOR ME! *Hem* The first letter for today comes from some No-life kid who thinks it's cute to write long-ass letters to the Great Mustadio. Let's see what he wants.
Hey, flap-jack, whadda ya say?
Listen I need to ask ya some questions, but knowning you you'll give me a smart-ass remark. But thats ok! I want a smart-ass remark. Delita doesn't have the grapefruits to do so and ramza cries all the time. I should really think about blasting those two to the Abyss and back. That should shut 'em up! hehehehehe (draws a plan to get rid of delita and ramza)
Anyway, the questions! (Like anybody really gives a shit)
1. Why doesn't somebody kill Delita. I know Crono loves 'em to death, but come on! Hey! I'll distract Crono and you put a bullet in Delita's head. Thenb you'll have Ovelia all to yourself. But Ovelia is such a slut. I doubt you'd want her.
2. Can you get someone to to get a peice of putang pie, put two scoops of vannila ice cream on it, shine the son of a bitch up, turn it sideways and stick it straight up Ramza's CANDY ASS! (Much happy if you can find someone)
3. If ask for five dollars you say no, right?
And the last question ( thank god, so you can stop reading this bullshit letter and I can go home!) is will you tell Crono to stop asking her friend to do stuff that she herself can't do! I know he doesn't mind but what's the point if she can't do it either?!? Asking for 5 dollars is a little to much. That and some other things.
Well, thats the end of my bitching. I'd like to hear ya smart-ass remarks. It will be good to say to others from what you say. who knows. Who the hell cares. I'm outta here, flap-jack.
Dragon Of Takhisis
PS. I don't give a goddamn if you hate swearing. I say want I want, and you say what you want. Any Candy Ass who has a prob can go F themselves.
2/24/00---Ahh...here we go again with another ridiculous letter from my so called "fans" out there. Can't they understand that I have needs and need to be left in peace? But NOOOO, dipshits like Laguna have to come and bother me with stupid moronic questions, as if I were God and knew all the answers! Well...since I have no choice, I'd better see what this kid wants.
Dear Mustadio,
Ok,this is something i've often been wondered for a while.Where exactly
did you find the gun that you use?I know you say you found it under
Goug Machine City,but i'm sure it must have taken you a long time to
repair anything you did find.Also,what did you do after Vormav and
Saint Ajora were defeated?Did you go off adventuring on your own?And
finally,your father asked you to hide one of the Zodiac stones.Did you
hear a voice talking to you when you picked the stone up?After all,the
stone turned Weigraf into an unholy monster,so surely the stone asked
you if you wanted to have "the power"?
Yours sincerely,
Well damn...first time someone asks me a game questions. Hmph. When the hell did I say I Found my gun underneath Goug Machine City??? I don't recall saying that! Damn kids putting words in my mouth! Make one more mistake like that and I'll be sure to pull something from underneath your ass!! And I don't take long to repair a damn thing! Why..it was I who invented the toaster and if you don't quit making false conclusions, I'm going to invent something you're going to wish you never saw across your skull!!! What did I do once Ajora was defeated?? OH my gosh, are you related to that other kid who was asking me perverted questions about what I do with my sex life? If so, BEGONE!! I AM NOT YOUR CHEW TOY!! WHAT I DO AFTER I DEFEAT ENEMIES IS NONE OF YOUR BUISNESS!!! AHHHH!! Kids are so disgusting these days!! THEY HAVE TO ASK ME DIRTY QUESTIONS!! AHH YOU NEED HELP YOU STUPID INSIGNIFICANT BRAT, DON'T YOU DARE WRITE TO ME AGAIN!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH *is smacked by Crono* What?? Did I hear a voice talking to me when I picked up the stone?? What the hell do you think I am, a schizophrenic?? Are you suffering mental disabilities by any chance?? I mean, you ask dirty questions and then ask if I"m hearing voices...YOU SCARE ME, YOU LITTLE TURD!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH GO AWAY GO AWAY!! HE HEARS VOICES!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!! AND WITH A NAME LIKE "LAGUNA" YOU'VE GOT TO BE ONE PANSY-ASS KID!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAHHH I FEEL SORRY FOR LAGUNA HAVING SOMEONE LIKE YOU BEING A FAN OF HIS!!!!! yES, I FEEL THE POWER, DUDE...THE POWER TO STOP GETTING LETTERS FROM WHACKED-OUT KIDS LIKE YOU!!!!! HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE I'M GOING NUTS!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH *tears up the letter with his teeth like Jaws and shakes his head in madness* AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH
2/1/00-------Hoo boy , the delays just get longer and longer, don't they? Might I also note that the year 2000 is NOT the start of the millennium?? So you farts out there having a good time can keep the celebrations going. Ok, as for the sack 'o shit..er letters..*opens an envelope and reads* today's letter is from some girl named "Niki-chan" (if you're even a girl at that!) who has some interesting questions. Let's see what the HELL she wants today.
Dear Mustadio,
Hey, why do you pick on Ramza so much? He's sorta cute, ya know. ^_^ Anywayz,
why the hell do people hate Delita so much? They make depressing fanfics
about Delita killing Ovelia. :P And Delita is one of my favorite characters
too (I think he's cute too, tee hee! XD). You're my other one, AND TAKE THAT
AS A COMPLIMENT!
Hmm...why do I pick on Ramza...another one of those dumb questions people FEEL THE NEED TO ASK AND TAKE AWAY MY PRECIOUS TIME! *hEM* You think Ramza's cute? Maybe that's because YOU ARE A GIRL AND I AM A GUY! Can't you tell the difference? I mean did Square screw up on me that bad that I appear to many as a girl, just like they did with poor Ramza in Chapter 1? Or perhaps you are just so ignorant and was never educated in that subject? Perhaps you've been thinking you're a girl and really you are a boy all along and have been going into Men's restrooms and such...*rambles on until Crono-chan smacks him* Oh ok, the letter...Another stupid question, why do people hate Delita...how the hell should I know? Everyone here in this page loves that little two-faced jerk who tried to kill Princess Ovelia! It sure as hell doesn't help that Crono-chan herself loves Delita the most. DELITA DELITA DELITA!!! SO DAMN INNOCENT in her eyes. And now you like him too? What the hell is there to like about that stupid incompetent 5-year old behaving, pudding starved twat?? Ok, next thing...the fanfics of Delita..now that's just too stupid to answer..seriously I don't know where the hell you kids go off thinking I'm God or something and that I have all the answers to everything including stupid questions like "why authors write depressing fanfics about Delita" and stuff. Don't you think if I had that kind of power, I'd use it to find out other more useful things like when the hell I'm going to get a better job than this? And why you stupid brats like sending me crap? Sheesh...Oh, I'm supposed to take your liking me as a compliment?? Hahahahaha..I'd rather be hated as it promotes you little kiddies to stop writing to me!! Then I can slack off all I want and still get top quality attention! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH, BTW, are you male or female? I think you're female or perhaps you still don't know yet?
2/1/00------Well it appears I have another letter to read today! (Duh stupid). AS if I didn't have enough to do for one day....anywho, this letter comes from some werido named Goku_Tonberry. Let's see what this oh so geeky brat wants from me.
Yo, Mustadio!
I've read your schtick for a while, and
I have only two questions. First, who shoved the
stick up your rear? (Probably Ramza...) Second, you
ever been stabbed by a Tonberry? You never want that
to happen. I should know, I control them. Now, no to
my real question... Why do YOU have a gun? I do
better with a sword than you can shoot! There's no
fun when you can snipe!
Had to do that,
P.S. BTW, after I canned Rafa and Malak, you were
next. Muah ha ha ha ha!
P.S. NOW YOU CANNED RAFA AND MALAK? THOSE POOR KIDS..HOW DARE YOU RAPE THEM? YOu SICK LITTLE GAY-LATINO-PERVERTED-DISRESPECTFUL-GEEKY-HELPLESS TWAT!!
THESE ARE THE LETTERS FROM THE MONTH OF JUNE AND JULY. YOU CAN READ PREVIOUS LETTERS FROM EACH MONTH, JUST CLICK ON THE LINK AND FOLLOW AND HAPPY READING YOU SCUMS :>
Letters from June to September
Letters from the month of April
Letters from the month of March
Past letters from the time the page began
Well folks, that's all the mail I recieved so far, keep sending it in! Please send your questions and comments to the Mailbag and I'll be happy to read it and answer your questions on the net! Please address the subject as Mustadio's Mail. Until next time, adios!!!
MUSTADIO
MUSTADIO
MUSTADIO
Heheh... knocked Sam right off her high horse. Maybe I should apologize for
the threats and stuff...
NAH!
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go subdue a dragon and a demon. ::Turns
around:: Ki-chan, really. Spike'll be nice again... I hope... And
Moonlight... You know, Moon-chan, you shouldn't really be trying to kill the
koorime kyuuketsuki...
*You can say what you want, you can do what you want. But try and change my
opinion, and I'll knock you're teeth down your throat.*
Jus' little 'ol Silver Angel signing off...
MUSTADIO
MUSTADIO
Mustadio
MUSTADIO
MUSTADIO