Before reading this review, we suggest checking out Fistula's F13 Intro first!
You’ve got to like, or at least respect, a movie series that manages to start out on a “classic” level (though that’s debatable) and tops itself in each of the next three sequels. Okay, so that’s debatable too. But despite completely ignoring the call for a plot, Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (that title probably sounded like a good idea at the time) was the series’ best effort when it came out and has plenty going for it despite coming up empty-fisted in the plot department.
So about that story? Well, after getting axed in the head at the end of the last one, Jason is taken to the morgue. As riveting a movie as it would have been had he been dead, the film’s writers wisely chose to keep him alive. I can hear the argument at Paramount HQ – “Why the fuck would we make a Jason movie without Jason? That’s just stupid. We’ll NEVER make that. It would be suicide!” – Anyway, Jason fucks up a coroner and a nurse beyond repair, mangling the former with a hacksaw before twisting his head 180 degrees and disemboweling the latter with a scalpel, and makes his way back to Crystal Lake. That’s about the end of the story. A new group of kids, this one slightly more interesting than the last, has rented a cabin on the lake for the purpose of pairing off and having them some sex. Their cabin is next door to the Jarvis family: Mom, daughter Trish and son Tommy (played by the infamous Corey Feldman, who very well could have peaked at age 13 with this one).
Get them all together, sprinkle in a pair of twins and one Jason-hunting beefy guy to pump up the body count and provide some sexual tension, and our killing spree is ready to pop in the oven. Luckily, with effects guru Tom Savini back at the helm, the kills don’t disappoint. Highlights include the two at the hospital, one of the twins getting tossed onto an exploding car, one guy (who really deserves it for wearing a pair of Kenny® brand little shorts early in the movie) getting his face pushed in by hand, and Crispin Glover taking a corkscrew to the hand and a cleaver to the face. Okay, so I just wanted to point out that Crispin Glover is in this movie. It’s still a decent death. Because Savini was handling the kills, the gore isn’t neutered like in some of these movies. Jason is played by Ted White, who looks the part and could be considered one of the best to don the hockey mask, if not for the fact that he is uncredited – reportedly because he was ashamed of the role and did it for money. Shame on you, Ted. Like you did anything else that mattered.
By the end, Jason has inevitably pared the victim list down to Trish and Tommy. The final chase is entertaining enough, though probably not as good as the Jason vs. Chris battle in the last movie, which is more cliché and fun. The ending is a famous one. After finding out who the killer is, Tommy shaves his head to resemble an artist’s rendering of Jason as a child. Just as Jason is about to put the finishing touches on Trish, Tommy comes down the stairs, and the mindfuck begins. It almost works, but Trish’s machete slash is a half-second too late and only knocks off his mask. Though this Jason look is widely considered the best of the mortal movies, I actually preferred the look in the third one. Jason looks too much like a monster in this one, rather than the scary retard it seems he would more likely resemble. Anyway, Tommy buries the machete into Jason’s head, and the rest is history.
When people complain about these movies being brainless and plotless, this is probably the one they’re thinking of foremost. But the stripped-down story – okay, nonexistent story, dick – allows the acting (some the most capable in the series yet) and effects (say what you want about Savini’s reported smug love affair with himself, he handles his business) to take over. The result is a very solid effort with little to piss and moan about. Now, if you want something to piss and moan about, check out Friday the 13th V: A New Beginning.
