CP CP Program

This is such a lazy ass group. You all just sitting around looking for naughty stories on the Internet, got your butts all out of shape. So Bill is proposing to those guys who are really into CP and not just sissy cyber-paddlers, that we all swear that from this point on we gonna get motivated and trim down and buff up and get our old fat asses in the kind of shape that is deserving of some good swats.

This is Bill's Corporal Punishment Conditioning Program (CP CP). It is a three step program to get your lazy ass back in paddling shape.

STEP #1: This may be the hardest step considering the number of lazy asses we got in this group. You first of all must make a contact and a commitment with another member of this group who lives within a reasonable distance so that the two of you can have regular "motivational sessions". That means that once a week or once a month or once every three months the two of you agree to get together, evaluate the progress each of you is making, and then provide the necessary motivation to keep you on track. Getting a guy to work with you may take some effort since we know there are a lot of guys out there who talk a lot about what they're gonna do, but you've got to find another guy who's going to do the real thing. You might have to make lots of contacts.

STEP #2: Now that you are working with somebody who's going to give you some "motivation", we have to determine how much motivation you need. On the first day of the program, you are going to set thre threshold for your "shape up or beat my ass" program. On the morning of the first day, when you step out of the shower, you get on the scale. Then get a piece of paper that has lots of lines, and on the topmost line write the date and the number of pounds you read on the scale. From that day on, each morning out of the shower, butt naked, you get on that scale. Then on the next line on your piece of paper you write down the number of pounds you see. If it's a lower number than the day before you put a "+" next to the number. If it's a higher number than the day before you put a "-". If there is no change in your weight, you put a "0". At the end of the first week you subtract the minuses from the pluses. If you got more pluses than minuses, than you multiply that number times 5, and that's the number of swats you get to give your partner when you have a motivational session. If you are only meeting your partner every three months, these swats are going to be adding up. If you have more minuses, then multiply the number of minuses time 5, and that's the number of swats you have to take from your partner. For extra motivation, if both partners have been good boys and lost weight, then the boy with the fewest pluses, takes the difference in swats. You guys might get imaginative and play with these rules a little. We will assume that you will have more pluses, that means you will lose more weight if you ease up on the number of beers you're drinking and the number of hot fudge sundaes you're eating. But how you lose the weight is up to you. It's your CP CP program

STEP #3: After you've stepped out of your morning shower, got off the scale, recorded your weight, then look at yourself naked in the mirror. Disgusting isn't it? Look at that bod, and decide what part needs the most change. So do you want bigger shoulders, bigger arms, less gut, less butt and hips. You decide what part of your body you want to focus on tightening up now. And then pick an exercise that will make major changes on that body part. And decide what measure you are going to use to determine what progress you are making. So you might be walking or running. You might be pumping iron, presses or curls. You might be doing sit up after sit up. And then each session, let's say at least three times a week, but seven times a week is better, on the back of the same piece of paper where you are recording your "weight/swats I deserve" record, you record a number that measures your progress in the exercise that you have chosen. That can be number of reps, number of pounds, number of miles, number of minutes. It's a number that from day to day tells you that you are doing better. At the end of each week, you should have had at least three sessions. Each session you record the number and after it a "+" or a "-" or a "0". If you had less than three sessions, that's a minus. Subtract minuses from pluses. Number of pluses times 5 equals the number of swats you give your partner at your next motivational session. Number of minuses times 5 is the number of swats you take from your partner.

This is a conditioning program that can work for your butt. At the end of each motivational session each of you is obligated to make a report to the group.

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/tradingswats/

tradingswats@yahoo.com