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October 5 - Today my life began. My parents do not know it yet, I am as small as a seed of an apple, but it is me already. And I am to be a girl. I shall have blond hair and blue eyes. Just about everything is settled, even the fact that I shall love flowers.
October 19 - Some say that I am not a real person yet, that only my mother exists. But I am a real person, just as a small crumb of bread is yet truly bread. My mother is. And I am.
October 23 - My mouth is just beginning to open now. Just think, in a year or so I shall be laughing and later talking. I know what my first word will be: Mama.
October 25 - My heart began to beat today all by itself. FRom now on it shall gently beat for the rest of my life without ever stopping to rest! And after many years it will tire. It will stop, and then I shall die.
November 2 - I am growing a bit every day. My arms and legs are beginning to take shape. But I have to wait a long time yet before those little legs will raise me to my mother's arms, before these little arms will be able to embrace my father.
November 12 - Tiny fingers are beginning to form on my hands. Funny how small they are! I'll be able to stroke my mother's hair with them.
November 20 - My mom and dad are probably thinking of a name for me. But they don't even know that I am a little girl. I want to be called Kathy. I am getting so big already.
December 10 - My hair is growing. It is smooth and bright and shiny.
December 13 - I am just about able to see. It is dark around me. When Mom brings me into the world it will be full of sunshine and flowers. But what I want more than anything is to see my mom. How do you look, Mom?
December 23 - I wonder if Mom hears the whispering of my heart? Some children come into the world a little sick. But my heart is strong and healthy. It beats so evenly: Tup-tup, tup-tup. You'll have a healthy little daughter, Mom!
December 28 - Today my mother killed me.
-A.L.L. About Issues
March 1984
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LAST UPDATED 01.20.01
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