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And then this inner calling of mine, invoked other ponderous
thoughts in my mind. From all the knowledge and understanding
of the Buddha-Dhamma that I've acquired thus far, it became
a fundamental concept that strong attachments hinder our spiritual
development; something which I've thought about and meditated
upon. And I've come to a small degree of realization regarding
this, which is a great boon to my practice. So it became almost
a dilemma when I had to ask myself "Am I getting too attached
to the physical manifestations of the Triple Gems?" "Why should
images of the Buddha in a temple, the yellow saffron robes,
sights and smells of whorls of twisting smoke particles from
the incense burner invigorate such an almost overpowering
change in my state of my mind?" I knew it was a good thing
that I became aware of my attachments, that I was mindful
of it. But the other questions kept rising up like the disturbed
fragrance of the incense . "Why should the external environment
bring me peace, when inner peace is really what we're trying
to cultivate?"
We arrived safely, at this quaint little house-cum-temple
in Boxhill. I took it all in, within seconds, as my eyes scanned
over it quickly. I realized my mind already contained this
pre-conceived image of a resplendent, golden Thai temple,
replete with its pointed curved roof. Its intricate architecture
and interior design becomes synonymous with the wealth of
the rich Thai culture in Buddhism. Should Buddhism always
be associated with temples? Thinking one step deeper, it shouldn't.
It was a lovely place, and in all honesty, I felt at ease,
my defences were down, and the atmosphere was warm and sincere.
Awareness. Awareness of my mental and physical senses arising;
of pleasurable feelings and attraction to the place. I was
still watching myself at this point, among other things.
Venerable Ajahn Somwang greeted us. He looked fit as a fiddle
today, in contrast to the previous occasion, when he gave
a talk at Melbourne Uni, and he had a hypoglycaemic attack
and was ashen-faced. Ajahn Somwang's demeanour was almost,
if not perfect, in calm, compassion ( karuna) and peace. He
looked almost the embodiment of living Nirvana. Inspite of
his culture of sila, panna and samadhi, he was humble. His
humility was inspiring, his compassion encompassing. It was
heart-warming watching him cuddle Baby Ethan. Somehow, I believed
Baby Ethan felt safe at some point in time. Blessed baby indeed.
I felt only peace as I sat there. Hearing Ajahn Somwang tell
us about how often he gets his hypoglycaemic attacks due to
his busy schedule. I listened intently. He maintained that
smile, which came from his heart.
"Sick in the body, but not in the mind."
Most of us who knew Ajahn Somwang knew his body was not exactly
well. He's a diabetic, among other things, and it's apparent
to me that most of our diseases truly stem from the mind.
I know my fellow medical colleagues might beg to differ or
even critisize me for saying that. But in the shallowness
and superficiality of modern medicine, it sorely undermines
the vitality of our minds, often diseased. If we could only
learn to take a leaf out of his book.
Wandering down the hallway to the back, we come to a series
of split-levels and there was a shrine of Kuan Yin, Goddess
of Mercy, or Avalokiteshvara, the manifestation of the compassion
of all the Buddhas, understandably in a female form. I lit
a joss-stick. There was also leftover lunch in the shrine.
It was good Thai food, which I missed so much.
I know I wanted to return to the temple for more visits.
I knew the experience reaffirmed my commitment to the Triple
Gems. There was solace and great comfort, almost like that
of home-coming, and yet not quite. And as for all those questions
that had been swimming around in my head, I've decided that
the best answers that can be offered at this moment, would
be that it would have to take time and unyielding perseverance
to remove deeply ingrained old habits that we've been conditioned
to over countless cycles of death and rebirth. Attachment,
aversion, attraction; the way we react to a situation.
Awareness, that is the key to fruition. I'll continue to
relish the elusive moments of peace whenever I get it.
- Baby Ethan, for the time-being, belongs to Henry and Christina
Chau. At the time of the visit (25 March 2001), he was exactly
8 months old.
- The above was mentioned as a tribute to Henry and Christina,
and to express my appreciation for their invitation to the
wonderful Box Hill Temple.
- Venerable Ajahn Somwang is formally known as Venerable
Phra Khru Sirithamwithet. He is the President and Chief
monk of the Melbourne Thai Buddhist Temple (Wat Thai Nakorn),
489 Elgar Rd., Box Hill, VIC 3128, Ph: 9899 0883.
Sadhu! Sadhu! Sadhu!
With metta,
Kim Tan
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