Summary on Wisdom and Compassion

By Susan Sabila

Compassion is based on unconditional love and, therefore, when we give it, we don't demand or expect anything in return.

There is a need, when being compassionate, to have a certain wisdom. This wisdom is about how to help others and how to look after ourselves. It is a lot about knowing how skilled we are at the time and knowing our limitations. Sometimes, when we try to help a friend or another person we can find ourselves flooded or overwhelmed by the other person's problem or by their emotions, such as sadness or anger or whatever they might be strongly experiencing and giving out.

It is important to develop this wisdom of knowing how we can help others while realizing our own capacities and limitations. If a friend's problem is beyond our capacity to help directly it's important that we realize this and try to help in other ways. For example, rather than listening to their problem over and over again we might go with them to see a professional person who might be better equipped and more highly skilled to help them with their problem.

Compassion, it seems, isn't about 'fixing' or 'solving' someone else's problem for them. It isn't
about making someone better or changing them. In fact, it seems to involve the very opposite of these traits. ie. it is not about judgement or correction or giving the idea that we are okay and the other person over there, isolated, is somehow a person with the problem.
It is about acceptance and a lack of judgement. It is about connection and realizing actually at the basis of all problems or difficulties rests a commonality of being human, a common suffering, and that we are, in fact, all connected. Acts of compassion, therefore, can be very simple expressions of this acceptance and connection. They can be as simple as going for a walk with someone, or cooking them a meal or just listening to them without judgement.Seemingly very simple acts, but incredibley powerful, and wonderful gifts.

It is useful, when practising compassion, to remember also that we, as human beings, tend to get immersed deeply in our own worlds, particularly if we are experiencing difficulties. Therefore, it can seem sometimes, when we try to help a friend with a problem (and they are deeply immersed in their own world) that they have somehow lost perspective or some sense of the bigger picture or even what we might call 'reality.' This can be frustrating and it's important to try to think of ways, in these situations, of helping or being compassionate that are within our capacities at these times.

A couple of random points:

Another topic discussed was that of possible conflict between love and religion when partners of different religions come together. It was felt that, even if one of the partners is of a more extreme religion (which, for example, insists upon conversion) a mutual respect for and understanding of each other can be the basis of a workable and positive
relationship.

A final point was that often we make things, problems, issues, etc very difficult and complicated whereas there might, in fact, be an easy solution. And that it is important, when trying to solve problems, to look not at the surface, but at the original roots.