Be friendly towards total strangers yet scream hysterically at close relatives Lock yourself inside the car with the keys When potty training: Remember to pull your pants down Display your achievements to all and sundry Don’t wee over the edge Don’t have such a silly name for your private parts that people don’t know what you’re telling them about When sleeping in Mummy’s bedroom, snuffle and wheeze so she can’t sleep Never call the milkman ‘Dad’ (unless he is) Dance to Top of the pops Know where the biscuits are kept and when they have not, in fact, ‘all gone’ Top Page 2 Page 4 Naughty Babies Page Main Page