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This section covers the start of concerts performed by Undepoldus.
Viewers familiar with this subject may pass on to the next
section.
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Hairy Undepoldus Music
August 22nd started off dry and cloudy. As the day progressed
the clouds thinned and broke up. At 11am, Undepoldus arrived to
check the arrangements and the sound system. Undepoldus checked
the platform for strength and rigidity before putting his weight
on it. He found it secure enough and began his checks. The sound
engineers were surprised by his request to have small speaker
systems behind him so that he could judge the sound distribution
while he was performing. They were even more surprised when Undepoldus
echoed the way many performers checked their microphones. He said.
"Testing one two," into each microphone in turn without
moving. When he had tried all of them he instructed several engineers
at once to adjust the settings for his monitor speakers. He surprised
them still further as he began Thus Spake Zarathustra while
talking to the engineers at the back of the platform individually.
They were amazed that the sound level at the back of the stage
was almost quiet while that at the front was near the maximum
safe level. After a few more minor changes, Undepoldus declared
himself satisfied. He informed the set-up crew that he would return
at 6pm and started to make his way across the park. Nobody saw
him disappear but one moment he was visible and the next he was
out of sight.
As 6pm approached, the operations crew were watching for his arrival.
None saw him appear behind the temporary stage. He made his way
around the stage to mount the ramp erected specially for him.
Thousands of people were being marshalled into the seating areas
that had been set up. He asked the engineers to switch on the
sound system at a low level so that he could provide some music
for those waiting for the concert to start. The delicate tones
of the Moonlight Sonata soon had the incoming and seated audience
talking more quietly and moving less hurriedly. None except the
engineers, George, Marita and Kerstin were aware that the gentle
music was being provided by Undepoldus himself.
At 7pm, only a few stragglers were trying to find their seats.
There was a period of relative silence punctuated by a few clearing
throats and the occasional cough. Most of the audience were unaware
of the way Undepoldus looked on the stage. Many thought that the
whitish object spread across the stage was some form of decoration.
Undepoldus introduced himself. He said. "Ladies and Gentlemen.
Tonight marks a unique event in the history of two worlds. You
are from one world and I come from another. I do not know my own
world at all save for a few recordings of images made by the ship
that landed there. I only know your world and its culture. I have
found that a lot of the sounds that you call music give me great
pleasure both to hear and to perform. That is why I am here tonight.
It is the first time in history that a being from one world has
set out to entertain the people from another. I hope that you
will enjoy the renditions I will make of music written by some
of your most famous composers. Tonight you will not see a conductor
or an orchestra. You will only see me. I am the long white thing
you can see on the stage. I have been made so that I can create
many different sounds with different parts of my body at the same
time. I can be a piano here and a violin here."
Undepoldus demonstrated.
"I can make them move too."
The violin and piano reversed positions while still apparently
playing.
"Tonight I will present the instruments of the orchestra
in their customary positions so that you will hear them where
you would expect them to be even though you will not be able to
see them. Because I am so featureless there may be some people
who think that the sounds you will hear have been made from a
recording. I will therefore ask a few individuals to come up onto
the stage and hear me making the sounds that all the rest of you
will hear in an amplified form. I would like to inform you that
I can hear all of you individually. For example I can assure Mary
and Jack that I am real and I am here. Mary and Jack are sitting
near the end of the seventeenth row of seats near to the left
hand aisle. Please stand up Mary and Jack to confirm what I said."
A couple stood up rather embarrassed at being identified.
"Irene in the eighteenth row. Please remember that I can
hear you too! Simon on my left in the eighth row. Please use your
handkerchief when you sneeze."
Most of the audience laughed.
"If any of you want to meet me after the concert, I will
call you up to the stage by name. Please say your full name out
loud now."
There was a general murmur of voices throughout the audience.
"Would the lady who said "Say your name Gerald"
in the eleventh row on my right please say her name. Please do
not push your husband into doing something that you have not the
courage to do yourself Mrs. Allinson."
The audience was impressed and amused by the way Undepoldus demonstrated
his ability.
"I am sure that you have all waited long enough for me to
start. I will begin with a song that I think was intended for
children. I think that it is appropriate for the way I started
my life here on Earth. It is called Inch Worm.
When Undepoldus had finished the song, the audience reacted with
thunderous applause.
The applause rapidly faded as each part of the audience heard
Undepoldus say quietly. "Please do not applaud too loudly
or too long. Your attentiveness is applause enough for me."
"In the last century there was a great expansion in the way
music was distributed. First it was the phonograph and later radio.
Then, in the middle of the century there was a very rapid development
in many types of popular music. My next song is a tribute to a
very popular singer of those days. It is a tribute to him and
to your planet. Mr. Louis Armstrong and What a Wonderful World."
Many people had to wipe away tears because of the moving sincerity
of the performance. The applause sounded quiet and polite but
only because Undepoldus wanted it that way.
"My next piece is a little more modern. This song was very
popular two years ago. The Stars Are Beckoning To Us by
Chapfal Rainford."
The concert continued with selections as diverse as Superslides,
Nat King Cole and Richard Wagner. More serious items were interspersed
with music from operettas by Strauss, Offenbach and Gilbert and
Sullivan. Undepoldus finished his planned programme with a salute
to Andy Williams. May Each Day in Your Life Be a Good Day
but the demands for more were very insistent. Undepoldus performed
four encores before he said he would perform no more.
"I promised that some of you could come and meet me. I will start by calling Mary and Jack who I embarrassed earlier with Irene and Simon. The rest of you I will call personally, without broadcasting your names. For those who I do not call, thank you for coming to this evening of Hairy Undepoldus Music."
Despite the earlier requests for short and quiet applause during the concert, the final applause was very long and loud. The evening had been a resounding success.
PAUSE
The next section covers a chat show
interview with Undepoldus.
Viewers familiar with this subject may pass on to the following
section.
Please select PASS or CONTINUE.