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Fun Facts, Jokes,
& Terms
Horse
Jokes
GLOSSARY
OF HORSE TERMS
Auction-
a popular place where you can change a horse from a financial
liability into a liquid asset.
Azoria-
a condition brought on by showing horses all weekend. Symptoms
include the feeling of dread at
having
to get out of bed on Monday mornings and go to work.
Barn
Sour- An affliction common to horse people in northern climates
during the winter months.
Trudging
through the snow, pushing wheelbarrows through the snow, and
beating out
frozen
water buckets tends to bring on this condition rather rapidly.
Big
Name Trainer- Cult Leader. Horse owners follow him blindly, gladly
sell their homes, spend their
children’s
college funds and their IRA’S to support them-they have a direct
link
to
“the Most High Ones”. (judges)
Bog
Spavin- The feeling of panic when riding through marshy areas.
Also used to refer to horses who
throw
a fit if they have to go through water.
Colic-
The gastrointestinal result of eating at the food stands at horse
shows.
Colt-
What your mare always gives you when you want a filly.
Contracted
foot- The involuntary/instant reflex of curling one’s toes
up-right before a horse steps on
your foot.
Corn-
small callus growths formed from the continual wearing of cowboy
boots.
Endurance
ride- The end result when your horse spooks and runs away with you
in the woods.
Equitation-
The ability to keep a smile on your face and proper posture while
your horse tries to
crow-hop,
buck and shy his way around the ring.
Feed-
Expensive substance utilized in the manufacture of large
quantities of manure.
Fences-
Decorative perimeter structures built to give a horse something to
chew on, rub on, and jump
over,
see inbreeding.
Flies-
the excuse of choice a horse uses to kick you, bite you, buck you
off or knock you over.
Founder-
The discovery of your loose mare, miles from your farm, usually in
a neighbors flower bed
or
corn field..... used like “hey Honey, I found ‘er.”.
Gallop-
The customary gait a horse does when returning to the barn.
Gates-
Wooden or metal structures built to amuse a horse.
Green
broke- The color of the face of the person who has just gotten the
training bill form the Big Name
Trainer.
Grooming-
The fine are of brushing the dirt from ones horse and applying it
to your own body.
Hay-
A green itchy material that collects between layers of clothing,
especially in unmentionable places.
Heaves-
The act of unloading a truck full of hay.
Hobbles-
The walking gait of an owner who has had his foot stepped on by
his horse.
Hock-
The financial condition a horse owner gets into.
Inbreeding-
The breeding results of broken/inadequate pasture fencing.
Jumping-
The characteristic movement that an equine makes when given a
vaccine or has his hooves
trimmed.
Lameness-
The condition of most riders after the first few rides each year,
can be a chronic condition
on weekends.
Lunging-
A training method a horse uses with its owner, with the purpose of
making the owner go
round in circles, rendering the owner light-headed and dizzy so
that they pass out and the
horse may resume grazing.
Manure
spreader- Horse traders
Mustang-
The type of horse your husband would gladly trade your favorite
one for, preferably in a red
convertible
and V-8.
Overreaching-
A descriptive term used to explain the condition your credit cards
are in by the end of
show
season.
Pinto-
A colorful( usually green) coat pattern found on a freshly washed
and sparkling clean horse that
was
left unattended in his stall for ten minutes.
Proud
Flesh- The external reproductive organs flaunted by a stallion and
some geldings when a horse of
any gender is present, Often displayed in halter classes.
Quarter
Cracks- The comments that most Arabian people make about those who
own Quarter horses.
Quittor-
A term trainers have commonly used to refer to their clients who
come to their senses and
pull
horses out of their barns.
Race-
What your heart does when you see the vet bill.
Reins-
Break-away leather device used to tie horses with.
Sacking
out- A condition caused by Sleeping Sickness (see below). The
state of deep sleep a mare owner
will
usually be in when the mare actually goes into labor and foals.
Saddle-
An expensive leather contraption manufactured to give the rider a
false sense of security. Comes
in
many styles, all with built in ejector seats.
Saddle
sore- The way a riders bottom feels the morning after the weekend
long trail ride.
Sleeping
Sickness- A disease peculiar to mare owners waiting for their
mares to foal. Caused by nights
of
lost sleep, symptoms include irritability, red baggy eyes and a
zombie like waking
state.
Can last several weeks.
Splint-
An apparatus that can be applied to various parts of a rider due
to the parting of the ways of a
horse
and his rider.
Stall-
What your truck does on the way to the horse show.
Twisted
gut- The feeling most riders get before their class enters the
ring.
Versatility-
The ability of an owner to shovel manure, fix fences and chase
down a loose horse in one day.
Weaving-
The movement a horse trailer makes while going down the road with
a rambunctious horse in
it.
Whip
marks- The tell-tale raised welts on the face of a rider, caused
by the trail rider directly in front
of
you letting go of a low hanging branch. Can also be caused by a
wet or dry tail across
the
face while cleaning hooves.
Windpuffs-
Stallion owners. Also applied to used car salesmen.
Withers-
The reason you will rarely see a man riding bareback.
Yearling-
The age at which all horses completely forget everything you have
taught them previously.
Youngstock-
A general term used for all equines old enough to bite, kick or
run you over, but not yet
old
enough to dump you on the ground.
Zoo-
The typical atmosphere around most horse farms.
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HERE
ARE A FEW OTHERS
Bold
- Runaway
Athletic-
Runaway
Needs
intermediate rider- Runaway
Needs
experienced rider- Dead runaway
Dead
quiet- Just dead
Started
O/F- Started overfeeding cause we can’t ride him.
Excellent
Disposition- He has never been out of his stall.
Clips,
hauls and loads- Clippity clippity is the sound his hooves make
when he hauls butt across the
parking
lot when you try to load him.
Good
Broodmare Prospect- Not even a chance you can ride her.
Spirited-
Loves to run all out all the time.\
Good
mother- Awful at everything else.
Protective
mother- Don’t even think of getting near the baby till weaning
time.
Easy
Breeder- A stallion that will mount anything that moves
Pasture
horse- Will kick down door in stall if you lock him in one.
Always
in the ribbons- 10th place out of 10 horses in the class.
Goes
in a snaffle- Like a bat out of heck.
Wonder
halter Prospect- Can not ride him, was bred for beauty not brains.
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