big burly Sardar is Travelling in a Madras Bus. It's a Hot Day and he iswithout
a seat. He glares towards the Madarasi sitting on a seat beside theaisle, gives
his mustache a twirl and says "Oee asi sher de puttar haan"The
Madarasi feels the aftershock of this, and moves in his seat, the Sardargrabs
the opportunity and sits with him. A few minutes go by, then the Sardargives the
Madarasi another glare - twirls his mustache and says "Oee asi sher de
puttar haan"Our Madarasi friend  who is visibly shaken leaves his seat for
the Sardar, getsoff the bus at he next stop - runs across to the other side and
shouts out tothe Sardar"Sardarji ek baat bataana - tumhare maa Jungle mai
gaye thee ya sher ghar mainaaya tha"

Kuch Kuch Hota Hai,Exam paas aaye, sir mera dukhayeTeacher ne na jaaane kyun,
dande dikhaye,Ab to mera sir, jaage na sota hai,Kya karoon haye, kuch kuch hota
hai....

Soldier Soldier.....pressure cooker khol karSabzi meri uraa le gaya

There was this red-indian tribe in america.And it was this tradition in everynew
year that the chief of the tribe had to fart!And so the new year came and there
was big preparations, but the chief was notable to fart.So the sad villagers
went to the tribal doctor and told,"big chief no fart!"so the doctor
gave a portion of potato and beetroot.they took it but it didn'twork.So they
went to the doctor again with a sad face.they said,"Big chief no
fart!"So the doctor gave them a portion of chilli and beans.They took that
but it didn't work either.They went to the doctor again with asad face and said,
"Big chief no fart"This time the doctor got fustrated and mixed all
the portions he had and gave itto them.They took it and the chief farted so loud
that they were all happy.but later they came sadly to the doctor again and said,
"BIG FART NO CHIEF!"

A man walks in to the bar. As he enters the bar, he realizes that it wasa gay
bar. but, he thinks, what the hell all he wants is a beer. so heapproaches to a
bartender and asks for a beer.  The bartender asks " what's thename of your
dick?" the man replies " look man, i am not one of those, all iwant is
a beer". the bartender says "sorry man, i can't serve untill you give
methe name of your dick".  So the man realizes that it's not worth arguing
withhim.  he thinks for a while and asks the fella on his right hand side
"what'sthe name of his dick?" the guy replies with smile on his face,
NIKE!! the guyasks why nike?, so he says as a slogan of JUST DO IT!!. The guy
turns to hisleft and asks another fella what's the name of his dick?. the fella
answers"FORD" and adds HAVE YOU DRIVEN LATELY?.The man thinks for
awhile and then callsa bartender. The bar tender asks him if he has came up with
the name of hisdick. the man replies "SECRET', The bartender with a puzz!le
look on his face, ask the man why secret?.  the man with smile on his facesays
STRONG ENOUGH FOR A MAN MADE FOR A WOMAN!!!

FBI 3 men where at the FBI Building for a job interview.The first man walked
into the office . The interviewing FBI agent said "To bein the FBI you must
be loyal, dedicated, andgive us your all. Your wife is in the next room.I want
you to go in there and shoot her with this gun." The man took the gun,
hesitated, and said "Sorry, I can't do it."The next interviewee came
into the office. TheAgent said "To be in the FBI you must be loyal,
dedicated, and give us your all. Your wife is in the next room.I want you to go
in there and shoot her with this gun." The man took the gun, walked into
the room, then walked out. "Sorry," he said.The last man came into the
office. The inverviewer said "To be in the FBI you must be loyal,
dedicated, and give us your all. Your wife is in the next room.I want you to go
in there and shoot her with this gun." The man took the gun and went into
the room. The Agent heard 6 shots, silence,then a lot of screaming. The man came
out of theroom and said "Someone loaded the gun with blanks, so I beat her
to death with the curtain railing!"

   Subject: KricketWhat do you call an indian with 100 runs against his name?  
A. A bowler.   Q. What's the most proficient form of footwork displayed   by
Indian batsmen?   A. The walk back to the pavilion.   Q. What does Agarkar put
in his hands to make sure the   next ball almost always takes a wicket?   A. bat
!!!!   Q. What is the height of optimism?   A. A Indian batsman putting on
sunscreen.   Q. Who is the best Indian batsman on the current tour?   A. Ajit
Agarkar   Q. What would Glenn McGrath be if he was a Indian?   A. An
all-rounder.   Q. What is the main function of the Indian coach?   A. To
transport the team from the hotel to the ground.   Q. Why is Kumble the
unluckiest bowler on tour?   A. Because he was born in India.   Q. What's the
Indian version of a hat-trick?   A. Three runs in three balls.   Q. When does
the ball travel at its fastest in this Tour?   A. A Venkatesh Prasad delivery
flying towards the boundary.   Q. Why don't Indian fielders need pre-tour travel
injections?   A. Because they never catch anything.   Q. What's the Indian
version of LBW?   A. Lost, Beaten, Walloped.   Q. Who has the easiest job in the
Indian touring party?   A. The guy who removes the ball marks from the bats.  
Q. Why did Asraf Mushraf kidnap Glen Mcgrath ??   A. He just heard about the new
weapon for which the Indians   have no known defense.   Q. What did tendulkar
say after the India-Australia match ?   A. Shaken but not stirred ...   Q. What
did tendulkar say after the India-Pakistan match ?   A. Massacred but not
killed....we're not worried   Q. What do Indian batsmen and drug addicts have in
common??   A. Both spend most of their time wondering where their next   score
will come from.   Q. Why were Indian batsmen looking forward to the new
millennium?   A. So they can at least say they passed a century.

Shida aur Mida school gaye the. Teacher ne black board pe M likh diyaAur Shida
se kaha ke khare ho kar yeh batao ke is ka matlab kya hai.Shida ne khare ho kar
ke kaha M for Maa mane meri Maa.Teacher ne kaha shabash Shida beth jao. Phir
teacher ne black board pe W likh diyaaur Mida se kaha ke khare ho kar yeh batao
ke is ka matlab kya hai.Mida ne khare ho kar W ko dekha aur kaha ke hai to Shida
ki Maa magar sar ke bal khari hai.

SpeedingSitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers,a
State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH.He thinks to himself,
"This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!"So he turns on his
lights and pulls the driver over.Approaching the car, he notices that there are
five old ladies -- two in thefront seat and three in the back - eyes wide and
white as ghosts.The driver, obviously confused, says to him, "Officer, I
don't understand,I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the
problem?""Ma'am," the officer replies, "You weren't
speeding, but you should know thatdriving slower than the speed limit can also
be a danger to other drivers.""Slower than the speed limit?" she
asked. No sir, I was doing thespeed limit exactly... Twenty-Two miles an
hour!" the old woman says a bitproudly.The State Police officer, trying to
contain a chuckle explains to her that "22"was the route number, not
the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, the woman grinnedand thanked the officer for
pointing out her error."But before I let you go, Ma'am, I have to ask... Is
everyone in this car ok?These women seem awfully shaken and they haven't
muttered a single peepthis whole time." the officer asks."Oh, they'll
be alright in a minute officer. We just got off Route 119."

MORE ways to annoy the person next to you in a public library53. Instead of a
laptop, bring your entire computer!54. While working at a laptop, suddenly stand
up, and announce to every one,"I have mail!!"55. Start staring at the
person, and when you have their attention, announce,"I measure sock by
thickness!"56. Turn to the person next to you, and ask them to pronounce
their namebackwards.When they ask you why, tell them that you are looking for
hidden messages.57. State proudly that you have been to the 'other' side. Give
no explanation.58. Suddenly grasp your heart, let out a wail, and fall to the
ground. Then getback up like nothing happened.59. Collapse on the floor. Then
get up like nothing happened. When the personnext to asked what is wrong, look
at him/her with an inquiring look on yourface,and say, "What do you
mean?"60. Say, "It always starts so weird, and they do it so
weird." When they ask,"What?" say, "Ohh, sorry. I'm back
now."61. Start telling a VERY strange story, then half way through say,
"Never mind."62. Turn to them and while pointing your fingers at them
as if you wereelectrocuting them, say, "BUZZ!!! BUZZ!!. . ."63. Start
arguing with yourself. When they ask you who you are talking to,say, "Your
just jealous 'cause the voices are talking to ME!!!"64. Say, "Who's
Freddie?" Then act like you didn't say anything.65. Say, "Argh! My
central nervous system in shot! Quick! Give me blue china!!!"

Joke
Submitted By 

One train which was going peacefully on the rail-trackssuddenly deviated fromthe
tracks and went to the fields nearbyand then came back on the tracks. The
passengers were horrified. On the next Railway station thedriver was caught : He
was found to be a Sardar . He was questioned . He explained that therewas a man
standing on the tracks and he was not movingfrom there even after lots of honks
etc . Then authorities questioned : Sardarji are you mad! just tosave life ofone
person you put life of so many passengersunder danger.You should haveoverran
that person . Sardar said : Exactly, that is what i also decided, butthis
idiotstarted running towards the field when the train came very
close.

AMaulvi returning from the Mosque, sees a Sardar Giani {priest} on his knees by
the side of the ditch! Praying"Hai 'Allah' Mere paise dhoond de ..... Hai
'Allah' Mere paise dhoond de .......Hai 'Allah' Mere paise dhoond de ....... Hai
'Allah' Mere paise dhoond de"With his curiosity getting the better of him,
the Maulvi interrupts theGiani.....Maulvi: - Sardarji, kya baat ho gaye? {what's
the matter}Giani: - Mere pacchis(25) paise, es nale mai gir gaye hain. {I have
lost my 25P,in this gutter}Maulvi: - Par aap 'ALLAH' ka naam kyon le rehe hain,
aap to sikh hain! {why areyou praying to Allah, when you are a Sikh}Giani: - Tau
kya pachhis paise ke liye, mai apne 'wahe guru' ko nale mai bhejdoon? {I'm not
sending my 'wahi guru' in the gutter to retrieve 25 P}