___________________published by grapefruit music, 1996.
run and hide (cement flower version)
twenty-six
lamb chops
mutiny
tulips
poster paint set
olive man
teeth
ritual
(untitled)
the potato song
stop
waffle
hilarious
many feets of the world
when the saints go marching in
apple pi
sound check
pony tail susie
rake me
too much glue
shell (winged scarecrow prophet version)
my pet grasshopper
sea of blood
chasm
hit home
sky dive
carrot house
run and hide (cement flower version)
i had a lettuce patch
in wyoming
one day i saw some ears
and heard a ring
it was a rabbit's bell
a fair warning
now you must run and hide
the rabbits are coming
twenty-six
A B C D E F G
H I J K L M N O P
Q R S T U V
W X Y Z
Lamb Chops
holy moley
andrew's got the lamb chops
holy moley
andrew's got the lamb chops
behold the lamb chops
that are stuck to his skin
the holy lamb chops
that are stuck to his skin
mutiny
mutiny
hee hee
treason is for me
hang the captain, now we're free
break away while you're young
get out there and fill your lungs
make sure that the old man's hung
tulips
fish is on my plate
there's a crayon in my hi-tops
upside-down i see the road from a dish
time to do my homework
if you'd like to take a swim,
you'll have to forward all
my mail to me in germany
goodness if your shoes are blue
the clocks may like it too
i'll have a jalapeno pizza for the road
there's tulips in my hat
flying forks the airplane
has a hangnail in the springtime
smash our television with a baseball bat
climbing trees a hockey stick
needs some medical attention
there's a foodfight at the movies--
bring your cat
dear, oh, dear ice water spills
come on, we'll go spelunking
there's a tuba family
in a bowl of mashed potatoes
she and me jump off the dock
clad in our swimming suits and shirts
the bird believes
there's tulips in my hat
wall to wall spaghetti
quick--somebody call a taxi
swimming near a hydrant there's time to eat
fish on a rock is lonely
in the water he should be
i think they should ban chicken pox
buying left-over cheese logs
i jump up and down
if you don't understand,
i'll see you in the pool
there's tulips in my hat
poster paint set
i'm so hungry i could prob'ly eat a cow
i've been trapped inside my art class for a week now
but my eye has been caught by a poster paint set
i hope eating it's not something i will regret
hey
wait
i just ate some paint
now all my stool samples will be colored
when my art teacher comes back, oh what will she think
maybe she won't even ask about the odor
when she notices my artwork, will she faint
after my digestive process, posters i did paint
hey
wait
i just ate some paint
now all my stool samples will be colored
olive man
aaron-provisation
teeth
well, my floss is my best friend
deeply, dentally: it cleans my very being
fresh breath is certainly a benefit
but i'm in it for the hygeine
because i can't rise and shine
though brushing teeth is in my dreams
thank you, i'll be flossing mine
dentures aren't my destiny
well, my dentist is a real nice guy
but i only see him twice a year
so i brush thrice and floss twice a day
to keep cavities away
i've a toothpaste life supply
i replace my brush four times a year
my diet's on the healthy side
my teeth have nothing to fear
because i can't rise and shine
though brushing teeth is in my dreams
thank you, i'll be flossing mine
dentures aren't my destiny
ritual
(untitled)
the potato song
i was sittin' on the dock with my favorite radio announcer, karlo
i was munchin' on a bag of chips and thought it would be nice to share
well, i said "want a chip?" and you wouldn't have believed his response
well, he got up on his feet and he ran away as fast as he could
well, i called him on the phone later on and said, "karlo, what happened?"
he said, "what were you thinkin'? you almost had me killd back there"
i said, "i didn't mean any harm-- would you please explain it?"
he said, "i've been afraid of potatoes since i was a little boy"
he explained:
"well, i must have been about four, and we lived on the second floor
and i didn't have my glasses yet, so my vision was poor
well, i saw a man exit the front door with a sack on his shoulder
i couldn't make out the label, so i leaned over
and after falling two stories, i met that sack of potatoes face first"
stop
i can't hear you when my ears are plugged
i can't hear you when my ears are plugged
my voice makes an echo when my head's inside a jug
i can't hear you when my ears are plugged
i can't see you when my eyes are covered
i can't see you when my eyes are covered
it's difficult to breathe when i am being smothered
i can't see you when my eyes are covered
i can't hear you when my ears are plugged
i can't hear you when my ears are plugged
my voice makes an echo when my head's inside a jug
i can't hear you when my ears are plugged
waffle
i'm going to eat waffles
til they come out my nostrils
missing breakfast would be awful
but here it is unlawful
oh, syrup just covers the taste
just hides the joy
just drowns my reason to awake
oh, a fork would bring
the taste of metal to the meal
i eat with my hands
bathe my dog in the stuff
syrup kills fleas
but attracts honey bees
he eats them
oh, syrup just covers the taste
just hides the joy
just drowns my reason to enter the kitchen
oh, a fork would bring
the taste of metal to the meal
i eat with my hands
hilarious
when you tell those funny jokes
i laugh until i cry
in this entire world
i would say that you're the most humorous guy
you're hilarious
to me
see the cartoons that you draw
you know they really send me on a trip
you should be a comedian
or a writer for a comic strip
you're hilarious
to me
many feets of the world
there's
big feet
small feet
all sorts of funny feet
there's sneaker feet
bare feet
nail-polished toe nail feet
there's pretty feet
ugly feet
athlete's foot infested feet
there's hairy feet
wrinkled feet
blue slipper covered feet
there's furry feet
cute feet
black and white moo-cow feet
there's odd feet
normal feet
different kinds of crazy feet
there's gator feet
monkey feet
even kangaroo feet
there's big toes feet
small toes feet
even baby newborn feet
there's flat feet
curved feet
and dr. scholl's perfect feet
big feet
small feet
god created all the feet
when the saints go marching in
traditional (mostly)
apple pi
i went to mcdonald's and i ordered apple pie
i brought it outside and i ate it on the walk
i still felt hungry and i wanted some more
i went back inside and i ordered apple pie
sound check
pony tail susie
pony tail susie, you really move me
everytime you walk by
pony tail susie, something 'bout you makes my
thoughts drift off into the sky
pony tail susie, i'll tell you that i love you
just to see what you'll say
pony tail susie, can't you see you move me
each and every day
if i had a dollar for every time you told me
you wouldn't make another switch
don't you think susie, pony tail susie
by now i'd be rich
pony tail susie, let me ask you something
answer my question why
every time i see you something 'bout you makes my
thoughts drift off into the sky
pony tail susie, were you born an angel
how long have you been like this
pony tail susie, tell me something susie
how much have i missed
pony tail susie, if i asked you nicely
would you stay with me
pony tail susie, will our love grow
i guess we'll have to wait and see
rake me
rake me
rake me, my friend
i'm not the only lawn
the very best of owners
you've got a new lawn mower
gratify my yearning
collect those leaves for the burning
rake me
rake me, my friend
i'm not the only lawn
rake me
too much glue
i just accidently squeezed out too much glue
and now my hands are stuck to my head
i just accidently squeezed out too much glue
and now i'm stuck again.
shell (winged scarecrow prophet version)
my pet grasshopper
instrumental
chasm
instrumental
sea of blood
instrumental
hit home
stands there and he slaps the house
grindcore grandma
we mosh at family reunions
and stage dive at christmas time
aunt bertha writes ear-splitting songs
that don't ever rhyme
my mom was raised to thrash
and grandpa plays the drums
uncle joe shreds while we bang our heads
and grindma grinds her gums
sing death metal, grandma
sing death metal, grandma
sing death metal, grandma
it gets better every time
i'm the only guy with a grandma
that gargles razor blades
thrashing and swirling her silver hair
she plays bass lines like an earthquake
she shakes our hearts
and loosens all our teeth
it's always fun and there's no one
to tell us to turn it down
sing death metal, grandma
sing death metal, grandma
sing death metal, grandma
it gets better every time
sky dive
sky diving
with a glass of lemonade
carrot house
kam-provisation