___________________published by grapefruit music, 1995.
Toe Jam
pepperoni please
carbon monoxide
too much glue
Jingle bells
Jar blues
the man who ate socks
Jeff Crepeau
grindcore grandma
sky dive
mr. tongue head
fifteen panthers
waffle
trail mix
stare
acid rein
hit home
Toe Jam
it's sock lint
that gets stuck
that gets stuck between your toes
it's sock lint
that gets stuck
that gets stuck between your toes
for i put you on under my shoe
and i wear you when i walk down the street
and you like me so much that pieces
of you stick to my feet
it's sock lint
that gets stuck
that gets stuck between your toes
it's sock lint
that gets stuck
that gets stuck between your toes
pepperoni please
i don't want your little fishes
i don't want young girls that cannot wash the dishes
i don't want a single trip to the salad bar
i don't want to have to walk so far
when the world brings
so much opposition
when the bleak surroundings
make me want to break away
pepperoni pizza
meet me halfway
to the restaurant
give me food and fullness
give me love
give me what i want
i don't want a single flower
i don't want 7.5 commercials per half hour
i don't want to hear you say a word
i don't want to have to clean up afterward
pepperoni pizza
meet me halfway
to the restaurant
give me food and fullness
give me love
give me what i want
what i want
carbon monoxide
you can't see it or smell it,
but death follows in its wake.
it's carbon monoxide--
the number one cause
of poisoning deaths in america.
(from the journal of the american
medical association, jan. 05, 1994)
too much glue
i just accidently squeezed out too much glue
and now my hands are stuck to my head
i just accidently squeezed out too much glue
and now i'm stuck again.
Jingle bells
traditional
Jar blues
they say time flies when you're having fun
and everything goes by so fast
when you don't want the time to run out on you
if terrible pain makes the clock go slow
then saying goodbye to you should take forever
i've had you since i was a little kid
i held you in my pocket when i climbed on the jungle gym
i filled you with pond water and tad poles
and i filled you with milk and i brought you to bed
you were originally the home of thirty pickles
you were emptied; we became friends
back in the days of throwing acorns at girls
mom's jelly business is sure taking off
a travellin' man who likes strawberry jam
ordered a large jar full
"honey i'm low on containers you know"
sounds like bull
i've had you since i was a little kid
i held you in my pocket when i climbed on the jungle gym
i filled you with pond water and tad poles
i filled you with milk and i brought you to bed
the man who ate socks
i was in the locker room one day
and my buddy took off his shoes
and i said, "hey, you gonna eat those?"
and he said, "what-- my shoes?"
and i said, "no, i want to eat your socks"
somehow he didn't share my sense
of humor and amazement
so he took his shoes
and stomped right out the door
later i was at home
and my sister took out a twinkie
and said, "you want a bite?"
and i said, "if you mean of your socks,
nothing would give me more delight"
"boy, you're weird," she said,
"you're just plain weird
get out of here. you know,
my friends don't even come around
because you always ask the same thing.
just get out of the kitchen."
so i went up to my room,
and i opened my top drawer
i went out into the garden
to visit the gardener
and i said, "you're on your your feet a lot.
what kind of socks do you eat--
i mean wear?"
he gave me a dirty look
and knocked me unconscious with his garden hoe
Jeff Crepeau
grindcore grandma
we mosh at family reunions
and stage dive at christmas time
aunt bertha writes ear-splitting songs
that don't ever rhyme
my mom was raised to thrash
and grandpa plays the drums
uncle joe shreds while we bang our heads
and grindma grinds her gums
sing death metal, grandma
sing death metal, grandma
sing death metal, grandma
it gets better every time
i'm the only guy with a grandma
that gargles razor blades
thrashing and swirling her silver hair
she plays bass lines like an earthquake
she shakes our hearts
and loosens all our teeth
it's always fun and there's no one
to tell us to turn it down
sing death metal, grandma
sing death metal, grandma
sing death metal, grandma
it gets better every time
sky dive
sky diving
with a glass of lemonade
mr. tongue head
taste buds the size of ping pong balls
oral muscle a foot wide and three feet tall
if there's something to taste, throw it at his face
the telephone gets wet when he makes a call
mr. tongue
hasn't got a head
mr. tongue
he's got a tongue instead
lollipops go fast and popsicles do n't last
gotten sick wearing face make up in times past
every hat is drenched; every kiss is french
leaves a salivary headprint when he leans against the glass
when he sleeps at night, his whole head goes dry
tastes the salty tears every time he cries
chlorinated pools give him toxic drool
wets ten postage stamps at a time
mr. tongue
hasn't got a head
mr. tongue
he's got a tongue instead
waffle
i'm going to eat waffles
til they come out my nostrils
missing breakfast would be awful
but here it is unlawful
oh, syrup just covers the taste
just hides the joy
just drowns my reason to awake
oh, a fork would bring
the taste of metal to the meal
i eat with my hands
bathe my dog in the stuff
syrup kills fleas
but attracts honey bees
he eats them
oh, syrup just covers the taste
just hides the joy
just drowns my reason to enter the kitchen
oh, a fork would bring
the taste of metal to the meal
i eat with my hands
trail mix
raisins
peanuts
dried bananas
sunflower seeds
trail mix
chocolate chips
yogurt covered raisins
dry cereal
mini pretzels
trail mix
raw rice grains
cracker crumbs
chow mein noodles
little lentils
trail mix
bits of gravel
flower petals
motorcycles
small animals
trail mix
stare
instrumental
acid rein
i was steering a carriage with kamyar by my side
he was holding an old battery and just enjoying the ride
we were watching the mountains as they slowly rolled by
we had no idea that we were soon to die
skull of a bull in the distance
cacti like cardboard cutouts
vultures feed on fallen food
wagon wheels a' spin
sure is hot out here
kamyar saw some cattle and the horses saw 'em also
stampede wanderin' rather close with not to far to go
well, i kept my cool and i bid my horses hurry on
they trodded faster to avoid meeting them cows head on
the road it got quite rocky, and the carto shake
kamyar's nose began to itch and he sneezed-- a mistake
well, that battery fell sideways, and it hit me in the hand
the fluid ate through my control, which at my feet did land
the horses didn't know what to do, their guidance now in shambles
they steered us quickly off the road and then we all got trampled