The Collector: Part One

Part One

ROYAL:
Hyah! Come on, giddap! Whoa. Easy. Cut out that bay and that big sorrel.
CURLY:
Yes, sir.
ROYAL:
I'll handle the old woman. Curly, check out back.
CURLY:
You got it.
NETTIE:
Stay in the house.
CASEY:
But Nettie...
NETTIE:
There are six bullets. Save the last one for yourself if need be.
ROYAL:
Hand over that carbine, Nettie.
NETTIE:
You'd best get off my property, Guy Royal. You know I can shoot.
ROYAL:
You can't take us all. Best you stay alive to protect your young niece. Get her gun, Curly.
CURLY:
Yeah.
NETTIE:
You got the Olsons' land, the Burgharts' and the Tacketts', but you ain't getting mine.
MAN:
I got her Hitched up.
ROYAL:
Look at this lovely hepplewhite chair. Be awful kind of you to make it a gift.
NETTIE:
Gift, my fanny. That chair is the only thing I have of my mother's.
ROYAL:
It'd be doubly generous for you to give it to me.
NETTIE:
Casey, blow his damn head off.
ROYAL:
Unbend that trigger finger, girlie. I ain't after your virtue.
CASEY:
( gasps )
ROYAL:
Well, well, well. It's amazing what folks is willing to share with a friend.
(chirping )
NETTIE:
Royal... Royal, you give me that!
ROYAL:
Casey gave it to me.
CASEY:
Nettie. Nettie! You get off of her! Rot in hell!
ROYAL:
Tomorrow you'll leave the territory. You tell anybody I was here I'm going to throw your niece to my men. I'm going to burn your house down with you in it. Giddap!

VIN:
Who is this rancher, Guy Royal?
NETTIE:
Guy Royal is a cattleman with more money and land than God.
VIN:
Why's he need a little parcel like yours?
NETTIE:
It's not just mine-- the Tacketts and the Burgharts and the Olsons. One day they were here, the next day gone.
MARY:
Guy Royal bought their land in foreclosure. He paid next to nothing for it.
NETTIE:
You look around his place he probably got "gifts" from them, too.
CHRIS:
Is this your place?
NETTIE:
Yep. Uh, Burgharts, Tacketts, Olsons, and that farm is Cody Porters'. I guess he'll be next.
CHRIS:
All in a line. Must be where it's gonna come when it comes.
NETTIE:
When what comes Mr. Larabee?
CHRIS:
The railroad.

MARY:
Of course. And they'll have to deal with whoever owns that land.

CASEY:
Can't go in there. They're having a meeting.
JD:
Oh, I can go in. I'm one of them.
CASEY:
I know you are. I've seen you around. You ride pretty good.
JD:
Well, thanks.
CASEY:
Not as good as me, but not bad.

JD:
Not as good as you. And what do you know?
CASEY:
You want to race?
JD:
Uh, no. No. I-I-I'm not gonna race no girl.
CASEY:
Why not? You scared?
JD:
Scared? Oh, for Pete's sake.
CASEY:
Then race me.
CHRIS:
Pardon me.
BUCK:
I hear we got trouble.
CHRIS:
Would you be interested in partaking in a little show of force?
BUCK:
Show of force? Why, hell, that's my middle name.
CHRIS:
Then get out to the Royals.
VIN:
You oughtn't stay at your ranch alone, Ma'am.
NETTIE:
I'm puttin' up at the hotel.
VIN:
I reckon that's a good idea. Why'nt I see you over there?

NETTIE:
Well, much obliged. Casey, you come with me.
JD:
Run along.

NETTIE:
I ain't used to gentlemanly behavior.
VIN:
Ah, hell, I ain't no gentleman, ma'am. I think a woman of your courage deserves an escort.
NETTIE:
It ain't courage. It's my dander that's got up.
JD:
That girl gets on my nerves, Buck. Hell, she ain't even hardly a girl.
BUCK:
JD, if you were any blinder you'd be running into walls.

NETTIE:
I've lived in this territory since I was a girl. It was wilderness till my husband and I came out here. He couldn't stand it, but it agreed with me. Hell, I got seven notches on my old Spencer carbine. Man or beast, you name it, and I've had to kill it.
VIN:
You can do that with a Spencer carbine.

MAN:
Congratulations.
VIN:
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on, boys. What's he doing?
BUCK:
Is he getting a drink?
NATHAN:
What's wrong with you?
JOSIAH:
Yahweh has answered my prayers.
NATHAN:
Who's Yahweh?
JOSIAH:
God... to you.
NATHAN:
You been praying for... getting Gertie's garter to come into town?

JOSIAH:
Hyah!
VIN:
You ready now?
JOSIAH:
Whatever comes, but I ain't doing nothing that's going to keep me out of town on Saturday the 14th.
BUCK:
And why is that, Josiah?
JOSIAH:
I'm just telling you... just telling you. And I don't aim to be killed before then, either. Hyah!
BUCK:
I'm riding with him.
VIN:
Hyah!

CURLY:
Hey! Hey! Where do you think you're going?
MAN 2:
Stop! This is Guy Royal's property! Whoa, whoa.
CURLY:
Hey! Hey! Sorry, Mr. Royal. They wouldn't stop.
ROYAL:
It's all right. What do you want?
VIN:
I believe you got some things belong to Nettie Wells.
ROYAL:
Well, these small ranchers-- they love me. They give me gifts.
BUCK:
Just before you drive them off their land. You're going to make a fine profit when that railroad comes through, aren't you?

ROYAL:
I'm going to tell you how it is. I believe in the three "G's"-- God, guns and... get the hell off my property.

VIN:
That's nice. Now I'm going to tell you how it is. I believe your men ain't good enough to face us, and you're just a coward that threatens old women. So, soon as you give us what we came for we'll get the hell off your property.
ROYAL:
Sonny, I'm just an old, whore-loving cowboy. I don't want to get murdered by no gunmen. Curly! Cut out them two horses Nettie Wells gave me. Turns out she's an Indian-giver. Please... be my guest.

( bird chirping )
ROYAL:
I'm kind of a... Collector.
VIN:
Well, your collecting days are over and stay clear of Nettie Wells if you know what's good for you.

VIN:
JD
ROYAL:
This is my damn country, boy!

VIN:
Ours, too.
ROYAL:
Curly! Saddle up. You're riding into Lobo County tonight.

JD:
He backed down like a yellow dog, Vin. What's he got, anyway? A dozen men. A dozen men, and we could've whupped them easy.
VIN:
I ain't so sure it's handled yet, JD
JD:
What are you talking about?
VIN:
There's two parcels of land in that railroad corridor that Royal doesn't own-- Nettie's and Cody Porter's.
BUCK:
Men like Royal, they don't walk away from the poker table just 'cause you call them.

TOPHAT'S MAN:
It burned up real good.
TOPHAT'S MAN 2:
Yeah. Get the back.
TOPHAT'S MAN:
I got her set pretty good in back, too.
TOPHAT BOB:
Yeah, yeah. That's good. Burn it.
MAN ON FIRE:
Oh, Tophat Bob, you burnin' down my place. Oh, lordy. ( screaming )
TOPHAT BOB:
Anybody got to go, boys, Do it on him.
TOPHAT'S MAN:
The's a rider coming in.
MAN ON FIRE:
Help me!
CURLY:
Marshal Spikes? Guy royal sent me. He told me to say he needs you.
TOPHAT BOB:
Must want me bad, made you ride this far.
CURLY:
Pay you triple your marshall wages.
TOPHAT BOB:
Any burning?
CURLY:
I reckon you can burn whatever you want to, but mainly there's seven men Mr. Royal wants you to take care of.
TOPHAT BOB:
I know about them seven men.
CURLY:
Yes, sir. So you'll come?
TOPHAT BOB:
I'll come... soon as I finish my business here. Just so's you know... I will cook and eat the liver of any man that puts a bullet into Chris Larabee before I can do my job.
CURLY:
Yes, sir.

MRS. POTTER:
To tell you the truth, Josiah the man who used to own this suit was a head shorter than you.
JOSIAH:
Don't matter, ma'am. I'll take it.
MRS. POTTER:
Yes, sir. That'll be Four dollars please.
JOSIAH:
Phew.
MRS. POTTER:
What's the occasion? You sparking a young lady?
JOSIAH:
No, ma'am. I... just... like dressing up sometimes, is all.

MARY:
Hello.

ROYAL:
Well, well Mrs. Travis. Fancy running into you here. Do you know what this is? This is the mortgage to Nettie Wells' ranch. I just bought it from the bank. Cost me $300. When I call this loan today you think Miss Wells can pay for it? I'll have that land legal, and there's nothing your hired shootists can do about it.

VIN:
Man never drowned himself in his own sweat, Ezra.

EZRA:
A gentleman does not debase himself by engaging in menial labor.
NATHAN:
Josiah, there's something I been wondering about. In a place like this if a man get himself a tailcoat and a boiled shirt... what exactly do that mean?
JOSIAH:
I'll tell you, Nathan, but... you tell anybody else I'm going to have to break your back. You know I could do it, too.
NATHAN:
Yeah. I know that.
JOSIAH:
Carried this next to my heart for half a lifetime.

NATHAN:
She's awful pretty. Who is she?
JOSIAH:
Emma Dubonnet.
NATHAN:
In that show coming to town?
JOSIAH:
Mm-hmm. "Getting Gertie's Garter." Same one I saw in San Francisco when I was young and foolish. ( chuckles ) Introduced myself to her afterwards. It was true love. Saw her four times after that always with a chaperone.
NATHAN:
Why didn't you marry her?
JOSIAH:
Oh, I asked her. She accepted. Then I told her there'd be a short delay that I couldn't see her for two years 'cause I was going to pursue a course of spiritual study with a Cherokee Holy man. I often wonder if that wasn't a mistake.
NATHAN:
Well, I don't guess a lady wants to hear that from a suitor.
JOSIAH:
Maybe you're right. Anyway... fate is a capricious beast. Now I got a chance to win her again and I'm a happy man.
NATHAN:
I can see where you would be. Congratulations.
JOSIAH:
Thank you, brother Nathan.

MARY:
Nettie. Nettie. I just saw Guy Royal. He bought the mortgage on your ranch. He's coming to call in the loan.
NETTIE:
Damn him. Can he do that?
MARY:
I'm afraid so.
VIN:
Ma'am, how much you owe?
NETTIE:
A few pennies over $300. I never even seen that kind of money. What am I going to do?
EZRA:
Something wrong?

VIN:
Miss Nettie you probably don't know this, but Ezra here is a gambler.
NETTIE:
He sure ain't a ranch hand.
EZRA:
Thank you.
VIN:
He's saving his winnings to buy a saloon.
EZRA:
What are you attempting to suggest, Mr. Tanner?
VIN:
You got more than $300 tucked right there in that fancy boot.
EZRA:
Which you think I'm going to donate to this wizened crone? No offense, ma'am. You taken leave of your senses?
VIN:
Give her the $300.
NETTIE:
I ain't taking charity.
VIN:
It won't be charity, ma'am. Give her the money, Ezra.
EZRA:
When the sanctified dead rise from their graves to receive judgment, I'll start doling out cash.
VIN:
I'll pay you back in an hour.
EZRA:
Really? I'll tell you what-- I'll lend it to you... at ten percent interest if you pay me back within the hour. After that... 20% per day. Deal?
VIN:
Just get it out of your boot and give it to her.
EZRA:
With pleasure.
NETTIE:
My stars and garters. Look at all that money.
VIN:
There you go, Ma'am.
NETTIE:
I appreciate it. Thank you.
EZRA:
Oh, no, don't thank me. Thank, uh, Robin hood over there.

NETTIE:
You got your blood money. Now get off my property.
ROYAL:
I'm getting, but I'll be damned if I can figure how you come up with $300.
NETTIE:
Now, that's none of your business, is it?
ROYAL:
Come on, boys.

CHRIS:
Good day, sir.
ROYAL:
What do you want?
CHRIS:
Your money, of course.
ROYAL:
One man going to rob us?
CHRIS:
Oh, this isn't a robbery.

( guns cocking )
VIN:
Seeing as how much you love the ranchers we figured you might want to make a small donation to our ranch repair fund. You know, a gift.

CHRIS:
That's mighty generous Mr. Royal. Thank you.
ROYAL:
You smart fellows won't be laughing after today. I'd advise you to invest some of that money into your coffins. Hyah! Hyah! Come on, come on. Hyah! Get up.
EZRA:
Thank you. And, uh... the interest? Mr. Tanner?

EMMA:
So glad to be here. Hey, how are you? Y'all, come on over and join us at the saloon today, okay, you hear? Hello. Hi.
JOSIAH:
Emma?
EMMA:
How you doing? Oh, don't you look handsome.
JOSIAH:
Emma!
CARRIAGE DRIVER:
Whoa.
JOSIAH:
Emma, it's me! Josiah! Josiah Sanchez!

EMMA:
Why, of course. How you doing, darling?
JOSIAH:
Oh, Emma... Emma, we got so much to talk about.
EMMA:
Why, yes, we do, don't we? Now, you be sure and come to the show.
JOSIAH:
Well, I will! I will!
EMMA:
Oh, I got to go so bad my teeth are floating.
JOSIAH:
Oh!

BUCK:
( laughing ) It was pathetic. I swear, I saw you with my own two eyes, Josiah.
JD:
Looked like a... like a lovesick calf.
BUCK:
He was like mooing or something. I don't... What was that sound he was making?
JD:
"It's... it's me! It's me! Josiah!"
BUCK:
"It's me, Josiah."
JOSIAH:
Who wants to fight?
JD:
"It's me. Josiah." "Josiah Sanchez."
BUCK:
Whoa!
JOSIAH:
Who wants to fight?!
BUCK:
Josiah, nobody wants to fight you now.
JOSIAH:
Well, then, shut up!
BUCK:
Tell you what. A man ought to be able to take a little joke.
JD:
Shut up.
BUCK:
Shut up!

MAN:
They're burning Cody Porter's ranch! Somebody help! They're burning Cody Porter's ranch! They're burning Cody Porter's ranch! They're going to hang him!
NATHAN:
Let's ride.
VIN:
Hyah, boy! Hyah! Hyah, hyah!

VIN:
It's Cody.
NATHAN:
Ooh.
VIN:
Let's cut him down.
NATHAN:
Yep.
( gunshot )
TOPHAT BOB:
Hyah! Come on. Come on. Ho. I got a message for Chris Larabee.
VIN:
Might want to know who from.
TOPHAT BOB:
Marshal Bob Spikes but they call me Tophat Bob. Maybe you heard of me.

NATHAN:
You supposed to be famous?
TOPHAT BOB:
Hell, yes, I'm famous!
VIN:
Whew! Damn, Bob. You just eat a dead animal?

TOPHAT BOB:
You tell Larabee from now on any dealings with Mr. Royal come through me.
VIN:
I'll tell him.
TOPHAT BOB:
Say, Mr. Royal likes gifts. I think he'd like your coat, Mister.
EZRA:
And you'd like a face. Guess you're both out of luck.

TOPHAT BOB:
Somebody get his coat.
TOPHAT'S MAN:
Give it up there, Mister.
TOPHAT BOB:
One more thing... you tell Larabee to think about the last time him and me met 'cause the next time we do I'm going to rip his eye out.

JOSIAH:
( sighing heavily )

Top

Season One
The Magnificent Seven (Premiere) 1 2 3 One Day Out West 1 2
Working Girls 1 2 Safecracker 1 2 Witness 1 2 Nemesis 1 2
The Collector 1 2 Manhunt 1 2 Inmate 78 1 2

Season Two
The New Law 1 2 Sins Of The Past 1 2 Love And Honor 1 2
Vendetta 1 2 Wagon Train Part One 1 2 Wagon Train Part Two 1 2
The Trial 1 2 Chinatown 1 2 Achilles 1 2 Lady Killers 1 2
Penance Serpents Obsession