28th March 2001 Having said that, I will publish his latest crazed outburst, although I must point out that the opinions Les expresses on Lee Bowyer are not necessarily the opinions of the author of this site. Any complaints, law suits, etc., should be addressed to Dr Les, who will stand by what he says all the way. Les has an attractive apartment in one of the more salubrious areas of Hong Kong and a house near millionaire hangout Bishop's Row in the exclusive East Finchley area of London, the proceeds of which which will no doubt go a long way towards appeasing aggrieved plaintiffs. Read on... Cole Still Useless Shocker I still maintain that in footballing terms he is a cunt of the highest order (and I mean Cole, not Wisdom, by the way), and that Erikbloke is a dangerous mentalist for having anything to do with the idiot. I trust I am making myself crystal clear ? Go on, then, Nady, sue me: no jury in the land would convict me after I show them the three hour video (I have cut out anything that didn't take place in the six-yard box or it would have been at least ten hours) of your greatest misses. 26th March 2001 The dozy cunt has never scored for England, hardly surprising when you see him repeatedly blast the ball wide from ten yards, as he does so often at United, and as he did against Finland. Why Erikbloke bothers with him is beyond me. I must be even less knowledgeable about football than I thought, because I reckon Cole is by far the worst player ever in the history of mankind, while it appears that the acknowledged experts think he's OK. Get some fucking glasses, you experts. 9th March 2001 7th March 2001 5th March 2001 On balance, and I know this will get me into trouble with some of you, readers, I preferred it in the 70s and 80s, when Chelsea were a team of no-hopers who bounced up and down from the first to the second division on almost a yearly basis, the ground was falling to pieces, there was no money in the bank and no prospects. Crucially, though, the support was loyal to a man, and Chelsea had a fearsome reputation as a team that could muster enough away support to make a real difference. Being a Chelsea fan meant something, and you were proud to follow the Mighty Blues. It was exciting and it was fun. These days you're actively discouraged from travelling by your own club, on the grounds that it's an easier life for them, and even if you ignore the wankers hardly anyone can afford to travel. Even if they can they can't get tickets if they want to travel independently. Home matches weigh in at around £35 a go, and at least 50% of the crowd are a fickle bunch of glory hunters who fuck off home twenty minutes from the end if we're not 5-0 up. What do we get out of it that we didn't get before ? Hmmmmm. Let's see: As before, we still get treated worse than cattle, but with the added refinement that we're no longer allowed to stand, thus wiping out any chance of creating atmosphere at a single stroke. As before, the chairman of the club is a maverick who runs the place on the lines of a feudal system and is openly contemptuous of his customers. As before, he is presiding over a looming financial disaster, admittedly of a different kind from the one in the 80s, but just as deadly. As before, the team isn't performing. To cap it all we now have to put up with a matchday DJ who makes Mike Smash look pukka and so-called fans who don't know the meaning of the word loyalty. Can anyone tell me in what way being a Chelsea fan is significantly better than it was before Rupert Murdoch came along waving a bunch of used fivers ? And I don't count the fact that we've been privileged to have people like Vialli and Zola around, because it's my opinion that in the long run we've lost a lot more than we've gained from it. As my friend Klaus says, I don't care if it's 11 kangaroos out there running around in blue shirts, I'll still follow the club. I just object to people telling me how much better it is now, and how I should be grateful to see a team full of overpaid foreign mercenaries, when it's so obvious that the real agenda is to marginalise true football supporters in favour of TV audiences and corporate hospitality. 1st March 2001 You can be sure that those fuckers've got all angles covered, though, because they will be just as keen to change Sven's moniker to turnip (Surely you mean swede ? - Ed) after England's first defeat, while claiming that they'd always said it was a bad idea to appoint a foreigner as England manager.
Needless to say this victory actually means jack shit, as every football fan with an IQ of more than ten will attest (What, only three, then ? - Ed). The reason I mention the England match is that I've decided the time is right to offer a thoughtful and balanced critique on one of our "star" players, so here goes: why the hell does anyone think that Nady Cole is any good ? The man is clearly a cunt of the highest order - last night he spent half the time dancing around playing tricks with the ball like some coked-up twat of a Brazilian beach bum, and the rest of it looking alternately pained, disdainful or outraged every time he got tackled (plenty), as though nobody had the right to shoulder him off the ball and he was too good to be on the pitch. What a cunt. Fucking hell. Piss off, Cole, you poof. Klaus has been on to me, indignant that I haven't had a go at slack-jawed seventies crooners The Neville Brothers - a glaring omission. Klaus reckons that the Nevilles are "a pair of cunts and a prime argument for birth control". I couldn't have put it better myself. February rants
© 1996-2002
Priesty's Chelsea FC Refuge.
Dr Les Has Another Go At Priesty Shocker
Dr Les has succumbed to one of the symptoms of syphilis, namely paranoid delusions. He has lost all sense of reality by accusing me, amongst other things, of censorship. Unfortunately he knows perfectly well that if I printed everything he says verbatim I would soon be making a living on the street selling copies of the Big Issue to the well-heeled champagne charlies who masquerade as Chelsea fans these days, having had my arse sued off by the various parties Les defames on a regular basis.
Yes, Nady Cole did finally score for England against eastern European carthorses Albania, if you call standing on the goal line whining for the ball then poking it across the line before it went in anyway scoring. I would like to point out to Cole, who made a ten course banquet out of it, that this is no big thing - even the octogenarian top box office star Norman fucking Wisdom would have scored that one, but would have made it twice as entertaining as he tripped over his shoelaces yelling "MR GRIMSDAAAAALE !" in badly dubbed Albanian.
I'm back
Sorry about the lack of updates during the past week or so - unavoidable commitments elsewhere kept me away. I missed the duffing up by Sunderland, thank God, but I did happen to see the England match the other day, and kind of wish I hadn't having seen the awful Nady Cole, who admirably justified my contempt after the previous England game by producing the worst performance of his dire career.
West 'aaaaaam 0 Chelsea 2
Apologies for no update yesterday, I was away. As were Chelsea, and for the first time since April 2000 they won at an away ground. Three cheers and backflips all round, as Dr Les would no doubt have it. One would assume that now the boys have discovered that they are in fact very good they will now have the confidence to win every match until the end of the season. See Klaus's match report.
Priesty 0 Dr Les and Klaus 2
As I expected, my dismal view of the current state of football has got me into hot water. Two of my regular contributors have complained in no uncertain terms. I will print their views here in the name of fairness. I cannot help immodestly comparing myself with Lord Ken of Batesland, who tends to deal with dissenters by means of handing out a life ban from Chelsea Football Club. This graphically demonstrates the democratic nature of my site. Until I find a way to ban Dr Les and Klaus, that is...
Coventry 0 Chelsea 0
The Mighty Blues suffer another humiliation, this time at the hands of struggling Coventry City. It's hard to understand why a team that features players of such high calibre can so consistently fail to win any matches (and I mean Chelsea, not Coventry, by the way). What's the point of paying £40 million a year in wages when you don't get any results ?
England 3 Spain 0
England manager Sven Goran Erikbloke breathes a sigh of relief as a young England side hammer a couldn't-give-a-shit Spain at the worst ground in the Premiership, Villa Park (before you start: fuck off, Brummies). No doubt the "heavyweights" of the footballing press will be keen to change Sven's name to Jesus on this performance, thus building him up as a stand-up guy who they were right about all along.
