"Do you think I am really such a dolt that Jacob could fool me wrapped in skins? Do you imagine the blessing was a consequence of his trick?
"No, it is the way of our family to leave all to the younger son.
"I was the younger son; did you know that? I had an older brother too, Ishmael. Be grateful, Esau; I'm a more gentle man than my father. He sent his firstborn son, my older brother, into the desert to die. Sometimes I wondered about him. I imagine he was like you, Esau, strong, a man of action, while I was sheltered by my mother like Jacob here by Rebecca.
"When I was just come of age with my voice changing and dreams shaking my body at night, the madness came on the Old Man again. He told me to gather wood and we would go make sacrifice. He had a queer look in his eye and the sneaky smile the crazy have when they think they have secret knowledge. I really didn't want to go with him, but there was no choice.
"All along the way I watched for landmarks, trying to memorize each rock and piece of scrub. I feared he planned to do to me as to Ishmael—leave me in the desert to die. So I hoped to remember enough to find my way back.
"But it was much worse than that. In that voice that bore no disrespect, he ordered me to build an altar. He sat in the shade the whole while, glaring at me, barking orders: 'Look! -- that stone there -- fool! Look for flat ones!' And he grinned. Barked and grinned. It was a test, I thought. Maybe if I could pile stones for the altar just right, he would relent and take me home with him. So I scurried around, trying to win my right to survive.
"But when it was done and piled with kindling, I knew my fears had been no paranoia. 'Climb up there,' he ordered.
"And I did. I did because fear and horror can be hypnotic. Because what choice was there? Because what was the point of trying to live if your father wants you dead? Because it was the only way out of this madman's control.
"So I climbed up and let him tie me in ropes and waited. No, I did not squeeze shut my eyes. I wanted to be strong enough at least to glimpse the enormous sky to the end and confront the reality of his madness, face his knife.
"And then the voice. 'Do not touch
him!' A voice from behind the Old Man, beyond where I could see. 'You godless son
of a stone! Let him go!' The Old Man hesitated, turned to look at the stranger. I could hear
him breathing hard but could not turn my head far enough to see what was happening. Then the
Old Man turned back and raised the knife to plunge it even more ferociously into me. But the
stranger was quick, grabbed the Old Man's wrist. They wrestled briefly, but the stranger was
young and far stronger.
"'You savage pagan!' the stranger yelled at the Old Man. 'You don't recognize me, do you? I'm Ismael, your oldest son. Son! Does that mean anything to you? Do you just breed sons like cattle for meat on the altar? You tried to kill me, but I won't let you touch him!'
The Old Man collapsed and began to giggle. It was humiliating. The stranger cut the ropes and helped me down. He nodded toward my father, our father, hysterical at the base of the altar. 'We could offer him up,' he suggested. My eyes went round and my mouth dropped open.
"'No, don't worry, I didn't mean it,' he laughed harshly. 'I oppose all human sacrifice -- for good reason.' He hugged me close. 'I'm Ismael.' He had survived and had watched all those years. 'I had the better part,' he said. 'I didn't have to live with the Old Man and those rages.'
"How could I thank him? Could I restore him to his rightful property when I came of age? He rejected the idea. 'I've made my life. I don't want any part of this so-called patrimony. There will come a time when you will regret it and recognize it as a curse.'
"He looked into my eyes to try to give me his message directly, to insist I understand. 'The only reason for the strong to survive is to save the weak,' Ismael said. I'm ashamed to admit I did not understand what he meant, really, but it is what I'm passing on to you, my sons.
"Jacob, you were so crafty to win the patrimony and now you will learn Ismael was right; you will live to believe it only the family curse.
"Esau, you have been spared. Try to understand Ismael's words."