Jazzsoda: Geopetto likes *ME* best, you were a whittling accident. |
Jonesing: "Excuse me, sir, Petting Zoo Security. Can I check under your coat?" "Why?" "Baaaaaa!" |
Shifter: Every night, Grandpa would read his latest poems to the "nice little flat boy in the rectangle." |
Hippie: Suddenly everyone knew who would be the decoy to dart outside and draw the sniper's fire. |
JoeCrow: I'd like to extend a Laurel, and Hardy handshake |
Hippie: While Dave was trying to shut down Hal's brain, janitor Earl Pensley climbed into the lower levels of the ship to just kick him in the nuts. |
Artanas: "WAIT A MINUTE!! I'VE GOT COUPONS!!" |
Jazzsoda: Hi, I'm your host, Bill Bickerto- *twitch* Uh, today we'll be taking a look a-- *twitch* *yank* whhiiiiirr "You got 'im Hank! Let up on the drag! Set the hook!" |
Jazzsoda: I'm sorry, Maria, I never really loved you. I just thought you were a gigantic Buck Rogers action figure and I had to be sure. |
Occupant: The top of a nerd wedding cake. (except that there's a woman) |
Hippie: Ned "Crazyshitferbrains" Nedmiller misses his ride! "Must stop for the pantsman! Got a pass that lets me kill raccoons! |
Yeepah: Damn that Princess and the Pea story...now Phil's sticking all sorts of weird crud under the mattress... |
Lowbill: Now, dear, that only works on "I Dream of Jeannie." Don't you remember, we had this same discussion about "Bewitched." |
His_Imperial_Majesty: Who is this Ed McMahon guy, and why does he keep sending me letters? I can't even remember meeting the guy. |
JoeCrow: She's my wife, my niece and my daughter, drives the IRS crazy |
two: you get yerself a banjo,...now, I aint gonna tell ya twice |
JoeCrow: I have a confession to make...When you were young and we played Hide 'N' Seek.....I never looked |
Psyko: Carl's new "Read Along with Christ" book caddy helped greatly with his phonics lessons. |
Artanas: "Say hello to the nice man Ethel" "Hello nice man" "Sorry, Ethel's....y'know....one of Don's top people..." |
Jazzsoda: "Yeah, first time we used it the bright, neon colors attracted hillbillies from miles around and we were the center of a rape-a-thon of biblical proportions.." |
Artanas: Despite his doctors objections, Bob was not about to give up his Malcolm X Super Beltbuckle up. |
Hippie: I changed the toner in the copier, ma'am! *Thank you, Simon. You can have the day off. Don't bother coming in tomorrow either. *Damn! Again! |
Ratel: My little brother looks pretty good as a woman, eh? I'd do 'im! |
rogeemoto: I just love it when you put flowers in your hair! |
Hippie: Robbie Diddle, Staring Contest Champion 1985, can no longer separate competition from friendly discussions. |
Hippie: Steve tried in vain to popularize his "Maps to Steve's Home," but very few sold. Surprisingly, now they're valuable collector's items. For Steve. |
Jazzsoda: Jason: "Oman, California. Man-O-man. I mean, ding-dang-damn, California." "You've never even been there, have you?" "Not yet." |