01february

2/1/01 Well today finds me still happily excited over getting my surgery date! Last night I did begin to doubt myself though. I really don't want to die! It is scary to think that death is a possibility so I have decided to focus on the positive! I know I am going to do just fine. My child care has been all messed up however which is very disapointing. My sister is no longer going to be able to come and stay with me so I'm going to have to work out another strategy! Luckily I have wonderful friends who are helping me come up with a schedule where they will each take assigned days to come and help me out after surgery! I have the best friends!! Other than that I have been making phone calls to family and friends letting them know of my date. I am in major nesting phase right now too. It's the funniest thing, it reminds me of when I was pregnant! I have this intense drive to get my house clean and organized before I have my surgery. In a way I'm glad because my house is such a mess! It should be a good distraction while I count the days untill the 14th!! Gotta go, dishes are calling...then I'm going to organize the pantry, hmmmm, I think I'll clean out the living room closet today too....

2/5/01 What a crazy weekend I've had. I've been busy calling everybody and going out to parties and I even attended a formall ball last night! It's been really fun telling everybody about my surgery date and it is amazing how supportive everyone has been. I've been buying things I'll need for after my surgery and I am still trying to get my house in order (can you hear my husband snickering in the background?) My hubby has been so supportive of me and this weekend he thouroughly cleaned the room I'll be staying in at Grandma's house. Not only did he remove all furniture from the room, dust, clean the windows and wash the walls, he even scrubbed the hard wood floors! What a man! I still havn't been back to the "Y" but I went for a nice long walk today, it feels like summer in San Diego right now! I am happy to report that my childcare problems have all been worked out. When my Mother-in-Law got to her office this morning she was layed off. She had worked for her employer for 12 years. While it is disappointing to her that they have chosen to terminate her employment, she is absolutely ecstatic. I have never seen her so happy! She is planning on taking an extended break before returning to the workforce and that means she finally has time to be a doting "Grammy". Since she has new-found time on her hands, she has told me, that she will be coming over and taking care of the baby during my hubby's work hours after my surgery...can you say R-E-L-I-E-F? I am so happy about this!! Everthing is truly falling into place and I am feeling more ready than ever for surgery. ;O)

2/7/01 Well I got my pre-op paperwork in the mail yesterday. I filled most of it out today...I can't believe I'm almost there. My surgery is exactly one week from today! Two friends of mine from an on-line wls support group, Robbie and Dart, had their surgeries today...we have the same surgeon. I go in for my pre-op appointment tomorrow and then I plan on stopping in and seeing my friends.

2/8/01 I had my pre-op appointment today and it went very well. Once again, Dr. Callery was great! I am feeling very calm and mostly excited. There is still a little voice in the back of my head reminding me of the mortality rate associated with this surgery but I am basically ignoring it. I am trying to focus on all the benefits of the surgery and invisioning myself having a speedy recovery. I found out that I will be the second surgery of the day and I have to check into the hospital by 12:15 am on Wednesday. Yikes!! I have been informed that not only can I not eat just prior to surgery but I can't drink either, not even water!! At least I can have ice chips after surgery! I got my perscriptions to fill and a shopping list of things to go buy...should keep me busy till the 14th!

2/9/01 Last night, after I updated my journal, I got very emotional. For some reason I decided to write my daughter a letter telling her just how much I love her and that I have every intention of being here for her for many years to come. I tucked the letter into her baby book and proceeded to cry for the next hour...this was, perhaps, not the best idea. My husband helped me snap out of it thankfully!

I went out to dinner tonight with a bunch of friends...my "last supper" so to speak. I had a blast. There were several people there who have already had WLS and a few of us who are on our way. Some of the people were just supportive friends and family. One of the people who went was my friend Dee, she will be in the hospital with me as our surgeries are scheduled on the same day. We plan on walking our floor together, the two of us in hospital gowns, pushing our IV stands along. Lovely picture isn't it? For my last supper I had chicken parmigian with iced tea and you better beleive I had dessert! I had warm peach pie ala mode..yum yum! Starting tomorrow I'm going to be eating lite and sensible as I want to avoid waking up from surgery wuth a tube sticking out of me if at all possible!

2/13/01 Well today is my last day at home, I'll be leaving tonight at 11:30 pm to go check into the hospital. I was feeling pretty good this morning until my husband and I got into an argument (about finances no less). We are celebrating Valentine's Day today too, isn't that always the way? I'm feeling pretty depressed now and am crying alot. I'm really emotional, not so much about the surgery though. I just didn't picture my last day at home before surgery to be like this. I'm sure we'll make up soon and then I will feel alot better! I'll try to update one more time before leaving for the hospital...I'd hate to have my last pre-op journal entry be such a bummer :o) If any spouses of WLS patients happen to read this, PLEASE, treat your partner like a Queen/King just before their surgery! Any problems you have now will still be there after their surgery...you'll have plenty of time fight and make-up later! I will appologize in advance for writing what I am about to write...I am sorry, but, God forbid somthing should happen and your loved one doesn't make it through WLS...you certainly wouldn't want your last memory to be of a fight! And now, if you will excuse me, I need to go put my soapbox back in the hall closet.

11:39 pm - I am waiting for my ride to the hospital and I just wanted to update one last time before surgery!! I am still feeling calm and find it hard to beleive that it is really happening! I am happy to report that Bob and I made-up and I have to say that making up was so much fun that the fight was almost worth it - almost! We had a terrific evening together with my brother and his love :o) I spent extra time snuggling with my daughter, of course hubby and I had special alone time and I am really just feeling at peace. I'll update my journal as soon as I'm back on my feet!!